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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to end my marriage because of dh's annoying cough

38 replies

Northernlurkerisbehindyouboo · 10/10/2012 23:12

Ok - well that might be a bit too far but it so ANNNOYING. He's coughing roughly every three minutes with a hoarse bark seal thing PLUS a wheeze (he's asthmatic).
I have ordered suggested that he might want to see a doctor. He says 'no, it's getting better' - which it may be but it's shredding my nerves atm. I know he can't help it but tbh every time he coughs I want to scream!

I am having two teeth out on Friday. I will need to rest and recover - if he's still doing the dying seal thing I there will be trouble ahead! When I was leaving for work this morning I actually thought 'hurrah I'm getting away from the cough'

So AIBU to be at my wits end?

OP posts:
Original poster
Northernlurkerisbehindyouboo · 10/10/2012 23:13

He's coughed 6 times whilst I was writing that short post btw.

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 10/10/2012 23:14

I had a cough for six months when I worked nights at a homeless shelter. I think DH felt very much as you do. I went to the Dr.

AgentZigzag · 10/10/2012 23:20

It's the loud noise when you're relaxing which is murder inducing, plus it's actual torture (not 100% on that one, but I bet it is).

DH makes a noise when he's asleep (not a snore) which leads to me to fantasising about how much mess there'd be if I sawed his head off with our not very sharp bread knife, and would he notice.

Your DH needs to go to the asthma clinic to have his meds assessed, if his asthma was under control he shouldn't be wheezing/coughing all the time.

What's he on? Reliever, preventer, antihistamines?

Flojo1979 · 10/10/2012 23:22

YANBU leave the bastard

KellyMarieTunstall · 10/10/2012 23:23

Yes he needs to see the doctor - and you need to get some ear plugs. Just the foam type will do to cut the immediate 'shock' of the cough .

They dont cut all sound so if you need to hear crying babies you still will .

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman · 10/10/2012 23:23

I know how you feel. I have a severely asthmatic daughter whose asthma is not well controlled at all. I love her and I empathise with her and I know she can't help the cough but there are times I just want to strangle her. I know it makes me a wholly bloody awful mother to admit to that but it's true.

Original poster
Northernlurkerisbehindyouboo · 10/10/2012 23:25

The asthma is mostly allergy related. He doesn't usually wheeze, just when he isn't well. The cough has come after a cold type bug 10 days ago.
He has blue and brown inhalers - which I think is reliever and preventer isn't it? I don't think he's brilliant about the brown one tbh. He also has allergy tablets during the summer, a nose spray and eye drops. I think his last review was only a few mnths ago - at the beginning of the summer. He is SO going to the GP again if this doesn't ease up soon.

He coughs so LOUDLY. He also sneezes more loudly than anybody I've ever met. Attention seeker!

OP posts:
fishcalledwonder · 10/10/2012 23:25

My DH's throat clearing is definitely grounds for divorce but a cough might get better. At least see what can be done before you leave the bastard.

apostropheuse · 10/10/2012 23:25

YANBU. Leave him - much simpler and cleaner than a murder.

All joking aside, he should get checked out in case he has an infection on top of his asthma.

MrsTerryPratchett · 10/10/2012 23:27

No. My DF sneezes more loudly than anyone else. It is an attention seeking, ahahahahCHOOOOOOOOO. And he eats with his mouth wide open.

Original poster
Northernlurkerisbehindyouboo · 10/10/2012 23:28

Flojo - I was hoping somebody would say that Grin

Ok just casually mentioned use of brown inhaler and no it isn't getting much use. We'll soon see about that

OP posts:
Original poster
Northernlurkerisbehindyouboo · 10/10/2012 23:30

hell - you're not an awful mother at all - it's more than flesh and blood can stand!

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CouthyMowWearingOrange · 10/10/2012 23:35

He NEEDS to be better with his brown one. Stick it wherever he puts his morning coffee cup or cereal bowl. I have to do this.

I get irrationally annoyed with coughing, which is a tad ironic as I also have asthma.

He really MUST keep up with his proper dose of the brown one morning and night.

I'm mostly shite at remembering it myself, but at the moment I also have the aftermath of some horrid viral bleurgh, and I AM taking it morning and night.

Still coughing a bit mostly when I read the typos thread and hack my lungs up from laughing too much and frankly, I'm annoying the buggery out if myself right now.

However, I HAVE been to the doctors, and there's sod all they can do for now. So I'm resigned to pissing myself off every time I have a coughing fit, or when I can't get to sleep because it sounds like I have stuffed a kazoo in my lungs.

Good job there's no one else for me to annoy!!

ToffeeWhirl · 10/10/2012 23:36

He should go to his GP. I had pneumonia over the summer and one of the symptoms was an annoying cough...

CouthyMowWearingOrange · 10/10/2012 23:38

I would also stick him back on antihistamines for a bit. Is it worse when he lies down at night?

Maybe try freezing the pillows and vacuuming the mattress?

Original poster
Northernlurkerisbehindyouboo · 10/10/2012 23:46

Thanks. Will hoover tomorrow and we just need new pillows - they're ancient! I don't think the cough is worse lying down particularly - it's just blooming annoying at all times! But the wheeze is.

I will give him his instructions. I wouldn't be at all surprised if it is pneumonia as he has been working stupidly hard. Gp if no improvement quick I think.

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 10/10/2012 23:47

Has he been round anywhere with pets? That always sets DD off.

Original poster
Northernlurkerisbehindyouboo · 10/10/2012 23:50

We have a cat - we love her dearly and he's not too bad with her but it definately doesn't help.

I've told him what mumsnet says and he looked all hurt and defensive and started saying he did use the brown inhaler - when he'd just told me he didn't! He knows his card is marked now.......Grin

Got to get him fixed, we're seeing mil in two weeks and she will give him hell if he's coughing then. She is a nurse, fil a pharmacist.

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 10/10/2012 23:52

We've got two cats and a dog and they don't bother her, I think they get used to them.

PedanticPanda · 10/10/2012 23:59

Oh is it the dreaded asthma cough? My DS gets that if he's not been taking his inhalor so I can sympathise with you.

CaliforniaLeaving · 11/10/2012 02:29

I hate that Asthma cough too. Ds2 gets it, or did get it he seems to have grown out of it over the years.
Dh had a cough just like it, drove me up the wall so I threatened him with him living in the garage if he didn't see the Doctor, turned out to be a fungal infection that needed meds for over a year, he's fine now. But I was ready to get the bread knife!

cynister · 11/10/2012 02:43

OP, my DH has a COUGH too..annoying, constant, scratch your nails down the board vexing. His cough is related to his blood pressure medication. He has had it changed twice with same result. I sympathise with you..
Perhaps you could go to your mum's or a friend's house to recover?

Leena49 · 11/10/2012 05:15

It's caused by inflammation in the airways but he needs to take the brown inhaler as prescribed as this is the anti inflammatory. The blue is the bronchodilator so whilst he feels immediate impact from the blue it will not help the long term inflammation.

I wouldn't leave him but I would get annoyed that his non compliance is affecting everyone.

EdnaCrumplehorn · 11/10/2012 05:38

Get him "Chest Eze" tablets by DoDo, a good old fashioned over the counter medicine that works. I'm asthmatic and have been using them in conjunction with inhalers for a while now. Next time your not well perhaps he should ditch the bitch!

UsingAPsuedonym · 11/10/2012 05:42

If your child has an asthma cough please be as sympathetic as you can muster and do keep taking them back for inhaler checks etc to get on top of it.

My childhood I remember not being able to breathe properly and my parents getting irritated. It was terrifying. My asthma also improved no end when the cat died. They were kidding themselves that it had no effect. :-(

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