to just not care how I look?

[CailinDana]

I feel a bit of an odd one out in this, so anyone out there join me? How I look doesn't even occur to me. I look in the mirror in the morning to make sure there's no jam on my face and I brush my hair but beyond that I think I just look like a woman and don't really give a hoot whether I'm wrinkly, or have not great skin or whatever. I wear make up on the odd night out, more because it's sort of a habit than that I think it makes me look any better. I'm lucky that I don't put on weight easily so I don't really think about my figure either. I would never consider any sort of beauty treatment because I can't honestly see the point. Am I weird? Or will I suddenly look in the mirror in ten years (I'm 30 now) and be horrified

I'm happily married too....maybe this encourages my "don't care" attitude?

is there a correlation with the reading of womens magazines maybe...I also have always assumed they are full of ads (from flipping through) and have never bought one, or probably read more than afew pages

have also started having proper regular haircuts in the last 10 years of so (since 30 ish)

i dont know that i am all that content with my attractiveness...i see much more attractive women who clearly do more grooming...im just not convinced grooming makes that much difference to how attractive you are

I'm happily married as well Strawberry - I don't take care of my appearance for the sake of attracting men, but because of all the women I've met who say things like "Gosh you do dress well for your size don't you" and "I'm sure your bottom is smaller than the last time we met!" etc. etc.

Different for everyone I guess. Well, obviously it is!

I really wish I felt more comfortable with my appearance and didn't bother with all the grooming stuff.
I feel sometimes that the makeup/hair straightening blah blah are really at odds with my values. I have friends who literally do none if it-shaving/makeup/hair dyeing and I really envy that freedom and acceptance of themselves as they are but I just can't not do it because I look dreadful without it and it annoys me that it matters so much to me.

I'm happily married too....maybe this encourages my "don't care" attitude?

It's possible because I've lost count of how many women and men I've known to get divorced and then start taking care of their appearance.

Thus proving that somewhere deep inside they think it really does matter to them.

Why would being happily married make you not care?

Maybe it's more a question of, when you are single, why do you care? In answer to this, I guess when you are 'on the market' so to speak, you are hoping to attract a new mate and so more vulnerable to judgements based on appearance.

I don't care very much anyway but being pregnant I care even less.

my very good friend (ABSOLUTE STUNNER, SO COULD HAVE BEEN A MODEL) shit didn't mean to shout. said in total seriousness, " i wish i was like you, and didn't give a shit how i look, it's such a pressure all this!!!" i was but soon thought, yeah, you're right, i could not be arsed with all that every day!!
i mean false eyelashes EVERY day??

Not on the market = don't give a hoot? I'm not needing to attract a partner but maybe I would make an effort if I did! (Possibly the partner attracted would be dissappointed once I slipped back into my "don't really care" ways though...a bit like false advertising)?!

I'm fifty, greying hair, overweight and really don't care about my appearance. In fact I would say that I care less about it now than I ever did. It's really not that important to me and doesn't change the person I am.Like a few people on the thread, I don't shave either. I don't dye my hair.

I wear makeup going to work, but that's the only time. The reason I do that is because I have pasty skin and don't look very healthy. It saves people asking "are you ok?" all the time! (I have a little problem with my lungs which can affect my pallor - lack of oxygen kind of thing).

I feel totally liberated and in control of my own happiness. Not giving a flying fig how others perceive me is wonderful!

So YANBU!

I don't really care how I look either. I say "really" because I do care that I look clean, am not smeared in jam or splattered with mud, and don't smell like a public urinal. mind you I'm not at work today so am failing on all those counts

I also only shave if I have reason to (i.e. wearing a skirt, just because it looks nicer to me) and cut my own hair when it gets so long it annoys me. It's almost always tied back so doesn't need a fortune spent keeping it perfectly styled and I'm far too lazy to blow dry / straighten / curl / etc every day... I don't wear make up - I only own make up I've been given as gifts by misguided friends I'm not overly bothered about my weight, other than to try and maintain some degree of health / fitness. I live in jeans / jodhpurs and polo shirts / hoodies.

I don't think I'm especially confident, and I'm not happily married (I'm single I mean!), I just have different priorities from the fashionable, stylish ladies out there. I accept that the impression I am likely to give is that I am the one you will call to help you dispose of a half dead badger you just hit on the road, rather than the one you'd wish to accompany you to a swanky cocktail bar

No amount of make up would change that!

I should add that I smell like a public urinal because I haven't changed since mucking out the horses, not because I have an incontinence problem or a love of rolling around in public conveniences...

I agree with MrsWolowitz

Im also happily married and I too enjoy making an effort with my appearance. I love fashion and make up. I get my nails done, have my eyebrows threaded, wear fake tan occasionally and shave my legs and armpits and try to keep a hold on the wrinkles and saggy bits. I love clothes and putting together an outfit.

I also love climbing trees and getting muddy with my kids, rolling down hills and flying kites.

It doesn't mean my time is worthless or i have too much time on my hands, it's something I enjoy.

It doesn't mean I neglect my kids either which is something else that I've had thrown at me before.

Different strokes for different folks!

I wish I could not care- I don't care 95% of the time hence over-weight and under-groomed- then 5% of the time I'll catch a mirror/ photo of myself and think FFS, woman, sort it out!!

I once used to get manicures/ brows threaded/ legs waxed. I think I am better off saving them money / time but I do think there comes a point when self-respect slides in line with your appearance!

CailinDana I completely agree with you!

I also think that not reading too many women magazines has something to do about it.
And that looking nice isn't just about make up, using moisturising creams (you do know they are addictive and that once you've started using them it is very difficult to stop but that, however, they can not biologically make any major difference to your skin?).

What I do care about is my health (Not in recovering from illness but about preventing illness and being able to live my life to the full).

I have also noticed for a while now that people you really attracted too are the one who are charismatic in some ways, not the ones who have the best make up/hair cut etc...

I'm not sure what impression people have of me to be honest. I'm quite popular and make friends very easily so clearly my lack of grooming doesn't do me too much harm!

Jodie - I don't think I'm conventionally attractive although I'm honestly not sure. I'm definitely not clear-skinned - I have very greasy skin and have had permanent blackheads (and I mean permanent) since I was 15. My mother mithered me endlessly to do something about them when I was a teenager (she had horrific skin as a teen and was terrified I'd end up the same) so I did try a few things but nothing shifted it and I just wasn't arsed so I gave up. At the moment I'm far from slender, being 20 weeks pregnant :) but normally I'm about 11 stone which I think at 5 ft 5 some people would consider overweight but I think is fine. I wear size 12 which seems normal enough to me. I'm not some natural beauty who rolls out of bed looking like a supermodel - I think I just have an ordinary face and ordinary hair. No one pukes upon seeing me, so that's a good thing I suppose :)

I must stress that I am clean and tidy - I'm not some sloberella oozing down the street!

I think it is sad that you have to clarify all that though.

birdofthenorth get an epilator instead of waxing, its cheaper in the long run and easlier. I have beaten my eyebrows into submission by years of plucking so thats OK too. Just the nails and I get a fortnightly acrylic infill thats just lasts.

Once a month hair cut and roots and foils, £80 each 10 weeks and thats it.

I wish my DH would volunteer that I look OK rather than just reponded to 'Do I look OK?' as I am trying.

"I'm not some sloberella oozing down the street!" and who would be to judge that "sloberella" I mean we do not judge on appearances or not matching one's grooming level do we ?

LateDeveloper I will certainly deal with any deceased animal bodies you have... I actually have a reputation as the go to person to despatch partially dead wild animals as I'm quite handy with a shovel and I hate to see them suffer

I'm not that weird, honest. I'm just very... er... practically minded when it comes to these things