to just not care how I look?

[CailinDana]

I feel a bit of an odd one out in this, so anyone out there join me? How I look doesn't even occur to me. I look in the mirror in the morning to make sure there's no jam on my face and I brush my hair but beyond that I think I just look like a woman and don't really give a hoot whether I'm wrinkly, or have not great skin or whatever. I wear make up on the odd night out, more because it's sort of a habit than that I think it makes me look any better. I'm lucky that I don't put on weight easily so I don't really think about my figure either. I would never consider any sort of beauty treatment because I can't honestly see the point. Am I weird? Or will I suddenly look in the mirror in ten years (I'm 30 now) and be horrified

YANBU, as long as you're clean and look vaguely appropriate for the situation, it's fine not to bother with anything additional.

Equally, it's fine for those people who do enjoy fashion, make-up, altering their appearance etc to do so.

Neither group is automatically any more lazy, shallow, vain, intelligent, confident etc than the other. Just wanted to say that before the usual accusations start flying around.

Well I am (just) over 50, and in my general day to day life I dont care at all about how I look, never wear make-up, my nails are tatty etc. Poor DH you are all thinking!! The only thing I do on a regular basis is dye my hair because I'm buggered if I'm going 100% grey yet.

But if I am going to a work meeting or 'out' socially then I try and make an effort - thing is I'm not very good at it, and because I dont do it very much then I feel weird when I do.

Sometimes I wish I cared more. And I am certainly not glam - about a stone overweight, greying, quite plain, wrinkles etc.

I have a theory though, which is that everyone thinks their friends are fantastically attractive, because they ARE their friends so it's about the whole person not just the packaging.

heh - did you join in my armpit hair tirade the other week?

I am still not shaving and still taking my hairy legs to the swimming pool :)

If people want to judge me on my appearance then fuck em.

oh and yannu obvs.

I have no opinion at all about people who enjoy make up and fashion - to me that's the just same as liking music or sport, it's an enjoyable activity and doesn't particularly say anything about the person themselves. The only thing that gets to me is when my lovely friends genuinely hate things about themselves, things that to me seem totally fine.

Oh ICBINEG you're my heroine! The problem is I have incredibly thick hair at the tops of my thighs which basically looks like a sea of pubic hair and I would be mortified to show that off while swimming. The rest of my legs wouldn't really bother me, they're pretty hairy but so what. It's just that the pubic hair thing seem so personal and embarrassing.

Personally I care about some things but not others. I like to stay reasonably slim, and don't like how I look when I'm heavier (even if it's technically a 'healthy' weight), and try to choose clothes that are flattering on me.

I get rid of 'unwanted' facial hair as it makes me feel self-conscious, and remove body hair if anyone other than DH is going to see it. I blow-dry my hair as I don't like how it looks when left to dry itself.

Never bothered with make up, doing things to nails or following fashion though, and never had a skincare 'regime' (I just wash my face , does that count?).

You seem to be wanting to make a point about something but I do not know what.Congratulations on your inner "I am so gorgeous I do not need to care". Not being rude OP but what is the point to this thread.

The point imnot is that I feel quite on my own in this and I was just wondering if I was. It often feels like as a woman I'm supposed to and expected to care about how I look and not caring makes me weird somehow. Just interested to know if I am weird or just one of many.

I don't think I'm gorgeous by the way, but glad you think I am .

calin it is crazy just how difficult it is to even type this anonymously on the internet...but...I get that too....and it is the hardest thing about going to the pool....the "oh god what if someone actually sees the perfectly normal and natural hair on my body"

Oh you are increasing my sense of worship and awe ICBINEG. Have you ever had stares or comments?

But if I am going to a work meeting or 'out' socially then I try and make an effort - thing is I'm not very good at it, and because I dont do it very much then I feel weird when I do.

I can empathise with this totally, I always feel weird on nights out because I think I look like a drag queen or Aunt Sally; I don't wear makeup day to day so I feel horribly self-conscious when I do. But I put it on because I want to make an effort and look nice I wish I could just not bother and waltz around in my manky, hair glory but I can't bring myself to do that either!

calin I am off the other end of the spectrum...essentially so unblessed by the beauty fairy that it is easy to thick it won't make a lot of difference if I did care about my appearance....whenever I see make up the words 'turd polishing' spring to mind.

I hate the fact that we are all expected to waste our valuable time 'doing the best with what we have'. Well sorry Hello magazine....doing the best with what I have (brains) means spending zero time on surface physical appearance....

You sound v similar to me OP, I check I'm clean and tidy before I leave the house (and that DS hasn't wiped his hands on my trousers) but I wear no makeup unless I'm going out properly in the evening and the last time I had my hair cut was this time last year just before DS was born. I shave my under arms for comfort and my legs about once a fortnight unless they will be seen in public. And no I don't read women's mags either.

calin tbh people seem most reviled by armpit hair....I have had comments for that but not so much the other....maybe people are just too shocked...or feel they shouldn't have been looking in the first place

Heh :) I'm surprised people are so against the armpit hair, I would have thought they'd take no notice of that.

ha! you really weren't on the armpit hair thread then....the number of seemigly well adjusted people that seem to feel physically sick at the thought was pretty astonishing.

What you look like is the first impression you give people, so if you don't care what you look like then you don't care about the first impression you give people. That's different from knowing you look good even if you don't make an effort, which might perhaps be the case with you?

hmmm do you think there is a gap in the beauty market for a product line called Turd Polish TM?

I was on that thread, and yeah I do remember that actually. Loads of stuff about it being smelly etc, it was quite odd.

My point Brycie but not put as well as you.

bryce the first impression people get from me is that I am a fuck load smarter than I am good looking....this is a useful first impression because it is true.

I have done the before and after sniff test and it is pretty cast iron true that hairless is WAY smellier than hairy.

I see what you mean Brycie. I suppose I don't much care at all about the first visual impression I give people, because it has nothing to do with how I am as a person. I'm neat and tidy, which shows I'm organised and able to look after myself which I think should be enough for anyone to be getting on with. I don't look at a well-groomed woman and think more highly of her than the less well-groomed woman beside her, do you?

Then your first impression still says something about you, even if you don't put on make up or whatever. It says I don't care what impression I give you. When you say "it should be enough" - well for some it's not, so you just have to live with that.