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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think 67 yr olds have sex

51 replies

Flojo1979 · 09/10/2012 22:50

My aunty has a bad prolapse and went to the hospital for help, she was seen by a doctor and saw a nurse who said they couldn't operate for various health reasons and gave advice about pain management etc.
My aunty said, "not that I feel like it with this pain but what about sex?"
The nurse replied "you are 67 yrs old, you can't be serious". The nurse was about 30.
AIBU to be totally outraged on behalf of my aunty that a professional could think like this?

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 09/10/2012 22:52

I wouldn't be outraged but I would be shocked at the ignorance, yes.

SoleSource · 09/10/2012 22:52

Feel sick at the ageism.

I hope your Auntie complains. Can you offer to help her to do that? What an empty headed, ignorant useless thing that nurse is socially. Bleurgh.

picnicbasketcase · 09/10/2012 22:52

Wow Shock that sounds incredibly unprofessional not to mention unsympathetic. The nurse may have been slightly surprised to hear that anyone over 35 still has a sex life but she really shouldn't sound so dismissive and insulting.

cocolepew · 09/10/2012 22:53

How rude! If its a vaginal prolapse could they not put a pessary/ring in for her?

coffeeandcream · 09/10/2012 22:53

I'm 28 and am not in the least bit surprised at a 67 year old still having sex. Why not? Silly mare, that was really judgmental of her!

timetosmile · 09/10/2012 22:54

OPs Aunt, I salute you Thanks

CouthyMowWearingOrange · 09/10/2012 22:54

Hahaha, that nurse would love my 76yo granddad then. He gets his leg over far more than I do!

Had to bleach brain after accidentally seeing nudie pic of grandad that his LF took that he didn't know about that was in with his holiday snaps. Bleurgh.

Devora · 09/10/2012 22:55

Hugely unprofessional and highly unpleasant.

littlemisssarcastic · 09/10/2012 22:55
Shock

Yes, of course many many people still enjoy active sex lives at 67.
I am astonished at the nurse and think someone should make a complaint, before the nurse in question says anything like this to anyone else over the age of whatever she deems an acceptable age to still be having sex. Shock

Viperidae · 09/10/2012 22:56

Very unprofessional indeed. It is worth complaining about this as the nurse needs educating.

WhenShallWeThreeMeetAgain · 09/10/2012 22:56

That is an outrageous thing for the nurse to have said.

MayTheOddsBeEverInYourFavour · 09/10/2012 22:56

That is awful Shock

I think your aunt should make a complaint, it's up to all health professionals to deal with things like that sensitively

For some women just asking would be so difficult and make them feel embarrassed, if they had a response like that I'd imagine a lot might not bother asking again, so I think the nurse needs some training at the very least

BoffinMum · 09/10/2012 22:59

I thought everyone had sex indefinitely, only a bit less energetically as you got older ...?

TheDetective · 09/10/2012 23:00

Shock Wow! What an ignorant thing to say!!

I'm a bit lost for words to be honest!

attheendoftheday · 09/10/2012 23:01

I assume most couples of whatever age have sex. Shocked that a nurse would say that!

Original poster
Flojo1979 · 09/10/2012 23:07

Glad its not just me then that thinks its out of line.

cocole yes it is a vaginal prolapse, they tried rings 3 times and each one came out after a few days.

OP posts:
Lovelygoldboots · 09/10/2012 23:08

This has made me really sad, I an being referred to the "continence team" whatever that is at gp surgery as I have a prolapse. Im only 42 and I feel really worried about it all.

RosemaryHoyt · 09/10/2012 23:11

67yea olds have sex? I've written myself off for life and I'm in my early thirties. Wink

Go Auntie!

oopsiforgot · 09/10/2012 23:13

Staff nurse here, YANBU! Silly ageist unprofessional twit!

monkeysbignuts · 09/10/2012 23:15

my mum is 67 & I dont want to think about her having sex lol.
but yes it was totally unprofessional and your aunt needed treating with dignity, 67 is not old!

HappyJustToBe · 09/10/2012 23:16

Surely if this was news to the nurse she should've been heartened by it rather than reacting negatively? Very unprofessional but well done your aunt.

Lovelygoldboots · 09/10/2012 23:17

What I meant to say was I hope I get treated with more compassion. Stupid nurse.

Original poster
Flojo1979 · 09/10/2012 23:20

Lovely try not to worry, there is a huge difference between 42 and 67 as far as health is concerned, making my aunties prolapse much harder to treat, she had 4 dc's. I think the rings are usually quite effective.

OP posts:
Original poster
Flojo1979 · 09/10/2012 23:21

X post, I hope so too, surely there aren't anymore nurses this ignorant out there...

OP posts:
mumblecrumble · 09/10/2012 23:22

If you ask me sex is wasted on young people - all that worry about contraception, parents finign it out, fitting it 'in' between worka dn children.

MUCH more sendible to shag when you are retired surely. No pregnancy scares, time to enjoy it etc.

Nice one OP Aunty.

But seriously that is feckin shocking she was treated like that.