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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not send my boy to nursery because of the little girl's abduction all over the news.

230 replies

YesAnastasia · 04/10/2012 10:42

It's not that I think it will happen to him but it's on my mind, on all the news and everyone's taking about it and it makes me want to have him sat on my lap 24/7. You can't help but imagine what if it were you, can you?

Nursery seems disorganised at best at the moment and I just want to keep him at home for the rest of the week. Is that bad?

OP posts:
KarlosKKrinkelbeim · 04/10/2012 12:28

No-one is saying the Op has a disorder. I cited anxiety disorders as evidence of the blatant absurdity of telling someone plainly expereincing excessive anxiety to "stop worrying". this advice is not helpful, or likely to be effective. It is, however, spectacularly irritating.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 04/10/2012 12:29

As irritating as people who think that other people's tragedies belong to them in some way.

MadameCupcake · 04/10/2012 12:29

MrsDeVere - that is the extreme and quite ridiculous of course if people are actually saying stuff like that but hoping for the safe return and feeling sad for them would be fairly usual I imagine.

EnglishGirlApproximately · 04/10/2012 12:31

I feel sad for the family, I'm sure we all do. Thats different to becoming emotionally involved and letting it affect your life.

Grot · 04/10/2012 12:32

MrsDV speaks perfect sense and has said what I pretty much think, but far better articulated.

To keep your child off school/nursery because of this is ridiculous.

RubyFakeNails · 04/10/2012 12:34

I said it earlier but this is ridiculous mass hysteria. However reading this thread what I now feel most aggrieved about is that there is this inference that if you are not getting emotional about it all you are heaven forbid, the ultimate sin a woman can commit, not maternal.

Even worse you're cold.

Bollocks. Not cold just realistic.

Mrsjay · 04/10/2012 12:35

This is somebody elses child who is missing not yours you can't keep your son home because you are sad and upset, I am sorry if i sound harsh I am not uncaring you can be upset and sad for somebody and carry on with your own life,

KarlosKKrinkelbeim · 04/10/2012 12:37

Who the hell is saying anything about not being maternal???
I think the cold remark was made to the person who called the OP sick. i don;t think that's cold, actually. I think it's downright nasty.

TroublesomeEx · 04/10/2012 12:37

I'm no more vigilant than I was before either.

I feel sad for the family, I'm sure we all do. Thats different to becoming emotionally involved and letting it affect your life. Exactly.

OrangeandGoldMrsDeVere · 04/10/2012 12:39

Of course it is sad. Actually it is beyond sad. None of us can imagine how awful it is.
I feel for this family and wish their little girl home safe.

I do not think about it 24/7
I am not glued to sky news watching them rehash and speculate.

Because this is not a spectator sport it is a private tragedy.
I do not want to be involved in it.
I do not want to think about it.

I just want her to be ok.

Mrsjay · 04/10/2012 12:40

I suspect a friend of my sisters has kept her child from nursery today and they were all going to have a snuggle day because her little girl was sick during the night , I think this affects people in different ways it is horrible but we can't stop what we do because of it .

Mrsjay · 04/10/2012 12:40

Because this is not a spectator sport it is a private tragedy.
I do not want to be involved in it.
I do not want to think about it.

I just want her to be ok.

this

LunaticFringe · 04/10/2012 12:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TroublesomeEx · 04/10/2012 12:41

MrsDeVere That is absolutely it. You have articulated that perfectly.

Particularly the line about it not being a spectator sport.

TheCountessOlenska · 04/10/2012 12:42

Agree with Folkgirl Mrs DV etc.

Weirdly OTT response imo. Well the OP did ask!

Chubfuddler · 04/10/2012 12:43

It doesn't affect us in any way though, not if the individuals are not connected to us.

BegoniaBampot · 04/10/2012 12:44

Maybe this is a trigger for the OP for something else that's going on in her life. Are you usually like this OP, do you usually react to other people's sad stories like this? I hate all the grief and public outpouring etc that happened for Diana and similar, the competitive grieving and so on and I too avoid all the support threads or sad story threads. Then I got caught up in tragic events of a friend's friends. Never met the family but I became unexplainable obsessed and depressed by what this family was going through. Was scared shitless and angry at myself for being so pathetic. It really took over my life for a few months and I considered going to the doctor as I was so worried I was sinking into depression.I would normally scoff at this kind of thing and think you weak bint and then I was that weak bint. I think it might have been a trigger to grieving for a close family member who had died not long before in similar circumstances.

Mrsjay · 04/10/2012 12:44

It doesn't affect us in any way though, not if the individuals are not connected to us.

well it certainly had a negative effect on the OP

Chubfuddler · 04/10/2012 12:47

No, the op has hitched her wagon onto someone else's tragedy. It's a bit weird frankly.

seeker · 04/10/2012 12:57

Somebody on another thread said something like "this can't go on- I just want it to be over, one way or the other".

It was all I could do to stop myself laying into her. How dare anyone even begin to think they have a stake in this particular private tragedy? Ghouls, the lot of them. Being titillated by the experience emotion at one remove.

OP- how you feel is perfectly normal- but you really must, for your own sake and the sake of your child, fight against it. Your child is as safe as he ever was.

TroublesomeEx · 04/10/2012 13:00

That's shocking seeker.

Anyone who knows the family will also want it to be over. But certainly not "one way or the other".

What a spectacularly stupid and insensitive thing to say!

AnOldieButNotSoGoody · 04/10/2012 13:01

seeker I've seen that shite too.

Makes me cringe actually.

Mrsjay · 04/10/2012 13:02

No, the op has hitched her wagon onto someone else's tragedy. It's a bit weird frankly.

well I was trying to be tactful but yes i agree with you I don't think it is weird to be saddened by this some people just take it too personally and need to clutch their children closer to them but we need to carry on as normal ,

sugarice · 04/10/2012 13:02

That other thread is mawkish.

TroublesomeEx · 04/10/2012 13:03

All people expressing that sentiment really mean is that the effect of the initial news is wearing off and they need a new 'fix'.