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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To think that the bullying culture on MN can be a bit much....

999 replies

tjah04 · 04/10/2012 08:50

Having been a member of MN since 2003 I have seen and read some disgusting comments from other members particuarly on this board.

I am starting to think that some of these people must be very sad and insecure.

Some of the names that are called are disgusting and I am sure that these people would never go up to someone in RL and call them that.

And do not get me started on the "I am better than you because I can spell" attitude which seems to be the final insult if all else fails.

Other comments include

"troll" "Oh not another thread" etc.

It is cyber bullying at the end of the day and as mothers shouldn't we all just grow up a bit? The MN team do a great job of deleting such posts but often the OP has seen it and the damage is already done.

OP posts:
usualsuspect3 · 04/10/2012 17:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FunnysInLaJardin · 04/10/2012 17:21

BIWI I nearly reported that PA. For a joke like just to see whappen

Pagwatch · 04/10/2012 17:22

And I have a very good line on there
'can I pour anyone a big cup of calm the fuck down'

Plus Getorf does a LOLCATZ

It's a top thread. Although I am still on page two

mumtomoley · 04/10/2012 17:23

I think its a bit disingenuous to claim that anyone is saying regular posters shouldn't talk to each other, or that you just happen to wander off topic.

So if you were unaware of how hostile it seems. Now you know.

TantrumsAndBalloons · 04/10/2012 17:25

pag that line actually made me laugh whilst I was supposed to be working and everyone was really quiet.

I may have to borrow it sometimes if you don't mind? Grin

BigStickBIWI · 04/10/2012 17:25

Grin @ Funnys

It is a sad state of affairs that I had to clarify it, though!

usualsuspect3 · 04/10/2012 17:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TantrumsAndBalloons · 04/10/2012 17:27

Sorry, what's hostile?
Not sticking to the thread title?
Are there thread police now to make sure no one dares stray off subject?

Well a lot of these threads would either be incredibly short or 600 posts repeating the same thing. What joy.

NolaFfing · 04/10/2012 17:28

Mumtomoley - I would say that if you find the way people post here to be hostile then it definitely goes back to there being 1000's of posters with 1000's of different grades of sensibilities and feelings.

It's the old story of not being able to please all of the people all if the time.

FunnysInLaJardin · 04/10/2012 17:28

I think when folk seem to know each other and talk about stuff which others don't understand or know about it can seem a bit intimidating, but its not bullying or even deliberate most of the time

FunnysInLaJardin · 04/10/2012 17:29

I only saw the disclaimer after I had posted BIWI and thought the same. It made me Grin though

Pagwatch · 04/10/2012 17:32

Actually I think people see a subject emerge - like paint in here perhaps- and assume it is an in joke and that they don't understand because this is a joke discussed elsewhere and therefore excludes them.

They don't recognise it is random shite. And the people commenting are just joining in like anyone can.

BigStickBIWI · 04/10/2012 17:32

There has been open hostility on this thread, towards the OP who was thought to be goading and who has consistently refused to provide any proof of her/his assertion that her/his thread was deleted because she/he was called a 'dyslexic cunt'.

Bantering about paint or who is the illest is merely that - banter. If that is to be construed as hostile, I am at a loss to know what to say. No-one was preventing anyone else from coming back to the OP - and indeed through the thread various people have done so.

BigStickBIWI · 04/10/2012 17:34

That's a good point, Pag. We went off on a riff about paint because we all know about LaQueen's obsession expertise. These things can be seen as an in-joke, I suppose.

amillionyears · 04/10/2012 17:35

x post with Pagwatch!
Thanks for linking for me Pagwatch.

Pagwatch · 04/10/2012 17:37

Amillionyears

I linked it upthread.
I have read it all
I continue to think that it absoloutely was not bullying and that Tee was baffled rather than upset.

I notice that on the original thread you didn't recognise that the head tilt jokes were supporting Tee.
Maybe you misunderstood some of the tone.

That thread is not bullying IMO.

Pagwatch · 04/10/2012 17:38

X-post with linky Grin

Have you re-read it million? What do you think?

TantrumsAndBalloons · 04/10/2012 17:38

It's already linked million.

exoticfruits · 04/10/2012 17:41

YANBU - and someone started a thread saying how lovely the world would be with just women! You only have to read MN to know it would be hell!

amillionyears · 04/10/2012 17:42

I may well have misunderstood some of the tone.

But Tee herself had to hide her own thread for 2 days,and could not take reading it for 2 days.
Why?

If you are "baffled",you would not do that.

TantrumsAndBalloons · 04/10/2012 17:47

I dont think she said she couldn't take reading it.
I didn't see her say she felt bullied either.

SuePurblybilt · 04/10/2012 17:50

From what she later said, Tee hid her thread because of the Po having a pop initially. The rest of us are friends with Tee, we were taking the piss and I am very certain she knew that. She got that we were on her side, if you will.

She was baffled by the response she initially got, not from the joking.

mumtomoley · 04/10/2012 17:51

I take it by the disclaimer you mean me adding that I do think mumsnet is great. I was trying to acknowledge that just because I am saying a specific thing is annoying doesn't mean I think all of Mumsnet is full of terrible bullies. Its mainly a great place and the overwhelming number of posters are to varying degrees lovely, interesting and amusing. The subject has come up and touched on something that I have noticed happening and found hostile.

If anyone disagrees then that's their perogative.