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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think toddlers with cold sores shouldn't be in nursery

132 replies

ScariestFairyByFar · 02/10/2012 20:54

One of the kids at dd's nursery had a big nasty cold sore last week now she has one. Argh! They don't let them in with cp and once it's done it's done as long as your not high risk, she'll have this virus for the rest of her life.

OP posts:
McHappyPants2012 · 03/10/2012 17:06

I think it is total insane to keep a child off school for a cold sore, Even infection control dont barrier nurse patients with cold sore and they are OTT

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 03/10/2012 17:12

The virus isn't contagious when it's dormant, and your statistic only refers to herpes carriers, not the whole population.

Either way, I don't want to be near an open cold sore, and clearly nor do lots of other people.

EdgarAllanPond · 03/10/2012 17:23

5% of 80% of the population = 4% of population. 1 in 25 - not rare.

asymptomatic shedding = the virus being transmissable without visible sores.

eragon · 03/10/2012 17:40

I wouldnt be happy about the cold sore in nursery esp if they have any children with particularly bad ezcema. would be a dangerous situation .

Scaredbutdoingit · 03/10/2012 17:51

I'm pretty sure 100% of people don't want to be near an open cold sore (ok, I take that back... pretty sure some virologists might be interested).

But the fact that theres a human being attached makes it all a bit more difficult.

Kaida · 03/10/2012 19:06

Since eczema was mentioned on this thread I looked it up as lots of family with eczema. Contact with a cold sore can cause a very bad skin infection in someone with eczema, bad as in organ damage or even death. So, your refusal to keep home your child with their cold sore from a couple of days of nursery as it's only "an inconvenience, nothing serious" could potentially kill my son, or my cousins or foster nieces.

PropertyNightmare · 03/10/2012 19:14

Yanbu.

monkeysbignuts · 03/10/2012 19:16

yabu cold sore virus springs up from time to time and can last weeks. should a child miss school or nursery when otherwise well?

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 03/10/2012 19:23

If its highly infectious, and they are small enough that they can't stop themselves touching it and therefore spreading it, then yes. They should be kept away.

thebody · 03/10/2012 19:30

Cold sores can't be caught by using towels,, as a mother of a child with a prevalence to cold sores I would be 'livid' if another mother complained when she is in school.

Ffs get a grip.

monkeysbignuts · 03/10/2012 19:32

you can get those compeed patches if your worried your child will spread it. Its on par with keeping a kid off who has a wart or veruca, very silly.

thebody · 03/10/2012 19:38

Also I think some posters need to understand that there are strict rules on exclusions from child care settings.

A cm or nursery can't exclude on other parents whims or attitudes to other children's illnesses or conditions. If they just made it up the setting would be liable to legal action.

Cold sores are not grounds to legally exclude from a setting.

Scaredbutdoingit · 03/10/2012 19:44

Crossing the road could potentially kill your son, or cousins or foster nieces, and is equally preventable by them all staying at home.

Actually, that would solve the cold sore problem too.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 03/10/2012 19:45

No, you can't legally exclude a child from a setting for a cold sore, but you woudo ope that parents weren't so selfish that they couldn't look after their own child until the thing got crusty and significantly less contagious.

You are wrong that cold sores can't be caught by sharing towels. This from the NHS disagrees with you. It also says that children don't have to stay home from school because of a cold sore, but this thread is about toddlers who need help and who will be in close physical contact with staff and other children at nursery.

It also says that you need to be careful around people who have a weak immune system, and you don't know if there will be a child with a weak immune system at nursery, so the best thing to to is to keep a contagious child at home.

Scaredbutdoingit · 03/10/2012 19:51

From the same link Outraged,

"However, if you or your child has a cold sore, there is no need for you to stay away from work or for your child to miss school."

You see, it works both ways... if your child has a weak immune system, they don't know if there will be a child with a cold sore at nursery, so maybe the best thing to do would be to keep the weakened child home?

I don't agree with either of those stances. There is always room to meet in the middle.

gordyslovesheep · 03/10/2012 19:54

yeh work would be fucking thrilled if I kept mine off everytime they had a cold sore

they don't all get them BTW - dd 1 does and I do - this thread has made me feel dirty and a bit sad to be honest - cold sores should not make somebody be forced to lock themselves away or wear an unclean sign ffs

poor kids

AnyFucker · 03/10/2012 19:58

Gordy, imagine filling in the "carer leave" form ?

Reason for requested abscence: my child has a cold sore

refused

Then you are faced with unpaid leave or having to take annual leave. Great. Since one or both of my kids had coldsores (and when they didn't, I did) several times a year, it's just not going to work is it ?

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 03/10/2012 19:59

Yes, I read that, that's why I acknowledged it in my post Hmm

So you think it's better to keep a child out of Early Years education permenantly rather than keep a child out for a couple of days while something that's infectious stops being infectious? Ok then.

That isn't an option, as you acknowledge. The best a parent of a child with a weak immune system can hope for is that the other parents are considerate and at the very least, inform staff if their child is infectious so that they can be given the option of collecting their child. Unfortunately some parents I have experienced are too self centred to even do that.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 03/10/2012 20:01

Do you feel ok about the fact that you could be leaving your children with people that have every reason to not want to get to close to them then? Do you think the staff should risk giving themselves or their families the virus just so that you can go to work?

AnyFucker · 03/10/2012 20:06

if it was the Ebola virus, I might think you had a point

Scaredbutdoingit · 03/10/2012 20:06

Outraged because it wouldn't be keeping one child out of school for a couple of days.

It would be keeping every child with so much as a sniffle out of school every time they had a sniffle, if people were as concerned about spreading germs as you are.

The fact is that germs are everywhere, every person has different varieties, and the best we can do is minimise risks in a public arena whilst allowing everyone to live as free and fulfilling a life as possible.

Scaredbutdoingit · 03/10/2012 20:07

A cold for example is also a viral illness, can also cause death in an immuno-suppressed child, and is very easily spread (a single sneeze will do it).

gordyslovesheep · 03/10/2012 20:11

outraged (my goodness you are !) shall I give up work and become a single parent on benefits then? Would YOU like to pay my mortgage?

you are being really daft - as Anyfucker said it's not Ebola Grin

AnnaLiza · 03/10/2012 20:26

Every time I miss a day at work because my child is sick:

  1. I don't get paid but still need to pay £49 a day to the nursery.
  2. My boss is not happy
  3. My clients (who have been waiting weeks for an appointment) are let down (I don't have a replacement due to lack if funding for my post).
Unless MY child is poorly and wouldn't be comfortable in day care, I don't give a flying rat is some paranoid parent is squeamish about a sore on the lip! In an ideal world, nurseries wouldn't charge parents if kids are sick or employers would pay the parent full wages. Until that happens, most people can't afford to keep their kids at home for a bloody cold sore!
N0tinmylife · 03/10/2012 20:37

Having read this thread I think some people need to get a sense of perspective! It seems some people would only be happy if everyone lived in their own sterile bubbles, and avoided all contact with others! I have cold sores, maybe once every couple of months, neither DH or DS have ever had one, despite both being in close contact with me regularly.