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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to find this quite horrifying?

115 replies

BasicallySFB · 02/10/2012 17:55

Friend has posted on FB:

'Dear Jim
Can you fix it for me to go out with a girl from my class?
Love Jeremy Forrest, Aged 30'

Said friend is a police officer :(

I'm horrified. De-friended him.

Great that we still live in a society where jokes cn be made about rape and child abuse. Fucking awful.

OP posts:
BasicallySFB · 02/10/2012 18:12

I wouldn't report - too late now as off my screen anyhow - but I do think joking about rape and child abuse is one contributing factor to the enduring myths about rape, and the reasons why we need We Believe You campaigns.

OP posts:
EdMcDunnough · 02/10/2012 18:12

WHY do some men seem to think these 'jokes' are funny? I had an ex who would always pass on stupid crass text messages from his dodgy friends. He didn't last long.

As soon as anything sad or awful happens in the news, some bastard makes up a 'joke' about it. Losers

zippey · 02/10/2012 18:13

I dont think there is a right or wrong when it comes to sense of humour, like there isnt a right or wrong musical taste etc. Personally I found that joke pretty funny, but like the previous poster said, I wouldnt have posted it on Facebook.

Humour comes in all shapes and sizes - Peter Kaye, Jim Davidson, Roy Chubby, Jimmy Carr, Frankie Boyle - lets not start policing humour, no pun intended.

londonone · 02/10/2012 18:13

Of course we are all meant to screech and wail about peedos, never mind that Jeremy forrest isn't one and no allegations against Jimmy Savile have been proved or even fully investigated yet.

Inneedofbrandy · 02/10/2012 18:14

YABU Should everyone like the same books and dvds as you to?

zippey · 02/10/2012 18:14

Its not just men who find jokes funny. Sickipedia is a great app to have on the iphone.

Smeghead · 02/10/2012 18:14

I know that they are Big but I daresay he has colleagues who are on FB friends and who will be much better placed to report him, or have a quiet word, than a hand ringing random.

You know what will likely happen? A big fat bog all. He will get a word in his shell like from his superiors at the most.

halloweeneyqueeney · 02/10/2012 18:15

"FFS no one will work in public services if they can't use black humour occasionally without fear of being reported by some sanctimonious 'friend"

There is a difference between a surgeon or policeman underpressure using black humour to deal with horrific situations to other colleagues who understand and out of ear shot of anyone else, the man in the OP doesn't understand the diffference between that and posting jokes about this stuff on facebook!

londonone · 02/10/2012 18:15

Here's an idea Halloween, perhaps the officer can tell the difference between real life and a joke. How's that for a ground breaking theory! I must say I fail to see how this joke is in any way about rape,

BasicallySFB · 02/10/2012 18:17

I think certain professions - police, nursing etc - have (rightly) professional standards which mean it's not ok to do things that might damage the reputation of the profession. While there are way more serious things than a joke on FB (I.e. The report on the BBC radio this morning about undercover police having affairs with people they're surveying / taking money from journalists for leaks etc) it's still not ok to make jokes like that in my book.

Whether you're a professional or not, male or female.

OP posts:
monkeysbignuts · 02/10/2012 18:18

londonone how about the fact that a girl who was 14 at the time has said she was raped by savile & another 15 year old the same.
It may not be proven (yet) but it is about rape!

MickeyTheShortOne · 02/10/2012 18:18

I don't think you are being unreasonable.. but maybe we all just need to remember that everyone has a different sense of humour. I agree with what was earlier said about Police officers having to deal with awful things every day- they have to find a way to deal with it too, just like the victims.
I personally didn't find it very funny either, and think he is a little bit silly (in his position) to post something like that on facebook. Police officers have been sacked for less.

londonone · 02/10/2012 18:18

Well who died and made you the judge of what is appropriate?

halloweeneyqueeney · 02/10/2012 18:19

"Well who died and made you the judge of what is appropriate?"

I'ld leave it to his boss to judge if it was appropriate actually!

londonone · 02/10/2012 18:19

Monkeys - that wasn't the point of the joke!

BasicallySFB · 02/10/2012 18:19

A 15 year old running off with a teacher is a safeguarding children issue.

Jimmy Saville is being considered by the MET re recent allegations.

Guilty or innocent, jokes about abuse and rape are just not funny to me.

OP posts:
monkeysbignuts · 02/10/2012 18:20

Lets make fun of other peoples horrors then hey. Would you like it if it was a member of your family that was raped or abused? would it be funny then?

halloweeneyqueeney · 02/10/2012 18:20

if its an appropriate way for a police man to deal with the stresses of his job then I'm sure it'ld go no further eh?

BasicallySFB · 02/10/2012 18:21

I guess the reason jokes like that disturb me - whoever they're from - is because of the potential underlying assumption that rape and abuse can and should be turned into jokes.

OP posts:
londonone · 02/10/2012 18:21

Halloween - I dont expect my friends to tell my boss everything I say and do outside of work, do you? Unless this officer has a public Facebook account then that is what you are suggesting. Of course maybe I am lucky not to have 'friends' as vindictive as you.

halloweeneyqueeney · 02/10/2012 18:23

In my job we are not allowed to refer to anything related to work at all, regardless of privacy settings. And none of the public sector workers on my friend list would anyway.

If I had a lobotomy and posted stuff that would be insensitive given my job and I got reported it'ld be my own stupid fault not the person reporting me

Smeghead · 02/10/2012 18:25

It really bothers me, all this "Tell his boss" stuff

FFS, are we in the playground "ooooohhhhhhhh, I'm tellinnnnnng!" As i said above, I am sure he has colleagues as FB friends and if it is deemed inappropriate then one of them will do something.

londonone · 02/10/2012 18:25

Yes that's right, let's never make any jokes case anyone is offended. That joke isn't universally offensive as seen by this thread. You saw it, you didn't like it you defriended. Why feel the need to do more, do you want to make everyone think like you?

procrastinor · 02/10/2012 18:25

Oh FFS. I am sure that if this p

solidgoldbrass · 02/10/2012 18:26

I'm not a man and I think it's funny. I have, in fact, been swapping jokes about Savile and Forrest on FB today.

I disagree with the idea that it's making light of the suffering of rape victims. It's more a matter of pointing the finger and mocking their abusers: something that I see as a reasonably healthy reaction, to portray such people as pathetic and contemptible rather than (as Forrest, for instance might see himself) as tragically flawed and/or terrifying and all powerful, as Savile considered himself.

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