To be shocked to learn that a teaching assistant take drugs at the weekend?

[LesleyPumpshaft]

Like the thread title says. Found out she takes cocaine and E's when she her family have her kids, so does her boyfriend, the rest of the time she is a complete piss-head.

She has also kids and lots of people seem to like her. She has not been sacked, so is obviously doing her job at the school.

None of my business what she gets up to I know, but AIU or naive to be rather shocked by this revelation?

OPs sorry a bit slow then!

That'll be all those spliffs you had this morning

Steve Jobs is dead.

Jim Morrison is dead.

Sherlock Holmes is fictional.

Pete Docherty is a cowardly bum.

House is a TV series.

Anymore?

tinuviel, I hope that's true.

vicarinatutu, I know it is not just Mexico, it's just that I spent many years of my life there, and I guess it is "close to home" for me, but that's personal.

I would hate being part of that drugs chain.

so. what if the title of this thread was

AIBU to find that my local neighbourhood police officer takes cocaine recreationally when off duty? "

away you go.....

Do they not?

How about: AIBU to not want my babysitter taking recreational drugs?

Thing is, teachers are supposed to be good examples to children are they not? I mean, Blue Peter presenters are sacked over this sort of thing and they are nowhere near your kids! Teachers and TAs provide moral guidance and set themselves up as figures to respect. If the kids were to find out that Miss Smith the pretty English teacher was off her face every Sat night on cocaine, wouldn't that diminish the respect they feel for her?

I can't believe all the posters who've said, keep your nose out, she's entitled to do what she likes at weekends. No-one is 'entitled' to take illegal drugs, and especially not people who are trusted with the care of young children.

If she was having the occasional spliff then, although still illegal, it wouldn't be so bad IMO. But cocaine, seriously?

Like I said, I would seriously think about reporting them for engaging in illegal activities.

Yes, seriously, Flimflammery. As even the OP graciously allows, this TA 'has not been sacked', which suggests that she is capable of holding down a job while also having a social life that, in her case, involves drugs.

Vicar, I can't give an answer to 'AIBU to find that my local neighbourhood police officer takes cocaine recreationally when off duty?' because I'm not sure what it means ...

Rhubarb, my answer to 'AIBU to not want my babysitter taking recreational drugs?' is presumably 'Yes, unless you're talking about when they're looking after your kids.'

HTH

I think that you would be surprised at the number of professional people who take drugs recreationally at the weekend then go back to work as normal on Monday morning. Many of these people are not addicted but like to let their hair down at the weekend and are able to function as normal in work. Although if this is coupled with heavy drinking the rest of the time then you may have cause for concern.

OP YANBU, I wouldn't want someone who thinks its fine breaking the law every weekend in the name of fun, teaching my children right from wrong at school. I would also worry about how it would affect her work eventually. These things have a way of escalating!

Surprised she can afford them. TAs get a really shite deal.

so swap the drug in the title of this thread to Heroin, would it still be no one elses business then?

i do actually know someone who is a heroin addict but manages to hold down a full time job to pay for it. Could be your kids TA for all you know. hope that would be just as ok with you all.

If someone can hold down and perform well in a job then I don't think it's other people's business whatever the drug of choice.

I know a heroin addict who works in social care.

Not a friend and not a very nice person.

I think if we're to be sensible about it, it has to be viewed in the same way as CRB checks- they do not prove a person has not done anything wrong, just that they've never been caught.

A person managing to hold down a job, while also managing a drug habit, may not actually be capable, but may just not have messed up big time. You can always make up a sob story about having been kept up by a sick baby, health problems or whatever, when you are actually on the nod. If you don't work with the person, you can't comment on their work performance. The boss might be thinking- 'Poor old Doris, she's so shit at this job it makes you want to laugh, but knowing her problems with her dying mother, I can't sack her, can I?'

If this ta is taking illegal drugs then she is not behaving well or showing good judgment. I wouldn't want to spend much time with her myself and would be unhappy if my child was.

All this stuff about being able to let your hair down at weekends is nonsense. What? The only way to relax is to engage in illegality? Their resources are so limited that they cannot enjoy themselves without being doped in one way or another? However well someone does their job, I'd find it hard to respect them if they really had that attitude.

Again, it's about being a responsible and respectable adult. Children are supposed to look up to their elders and school staff are supposed to be good examples of how people should live their lives. As a friend of mine once said, once you are a teacher you cannot separate your job from your life as you're always seeing the little buggers about!

So, just imagine you liberal thinkers then, that your kid saw their TA snorting up coke in the toilets of Wetherspoons, or saw them off their heads in town. Would you feel differently then? Is it still none of your business?

This isn't about whether they can do their jobs on a Monday morning, this is about their lifestyle and how it is appropriate for the career path they have chosen i.e. working with children, including vulnerable children.

Ladyclarice, if coke is just a drug of choice like alcohol would you be happy for your son/daughter (if you have one) to snort a line of coke at the dinner table on their 18th as opposed to a glass of champagne? I would imagine you'll say yes?

Adding to the points Doris made about competence of regular drug takers in professional capacities I know that if my child had to have an operation (something I have experienced) I know that I would rather the surgeon who didn't take coke performed it not the one regularly using coke, MDMA a night, 2 nights prior. I think given the choice most people would, even those who regularly take drugs themselves as you would always wonder whether their ability was impaired. Of course in reality there is no such choice but I think if you're in such a position of responsibility you should not be so reckless.

'The only way to relax is to engage in illegality? Their resources are so limited that they cannot enjoy themselves without being doped in one way or another?'

That's a different issue; that's in the realm of moral views about people taking drugs per se, which I didn't think was the point of this thread.

As a 'liberal thinker' (I love it when the word liberal gets used as an insult), and at the risk of repeating myself, yes, I do think that as long as someone turns up for their job in a fit state to do it, and does it well, their personal life is no one else's business.

That applies to someone who's a teacher, a lawyer, a cleaner, a plumber, a social worker, and anyone else who works in whatever capacity.

But in the context of this thread, I can't see how a teacher/TA's lifestyle choices away from their place and hours of work impacts one tiny bit on any children, 'vulnerable' or not, who they work with.

But I know someone (an illiberal thinker?) will be along in short order to tell me how wrong I am.

So simplistic, you're not a liberal unless you're smoking crack with your son/ daughter.

You didn't answer my question?

A Plumber is very different to a Surgeon for a start you're not directly responsible for anyone's care!

I've been a TA and we were told specifically not to smoke anywhere where the kids could see us (not that I smoke).

We were told that we are examples to these kids and so our behaviour must be appropriate - no smoking, no swearing. We had to be on our best behaviour no matter how much they wound us up.

I'm pretty certain that if a TA or teacher was seen to be taking drugs in public, there would be questions to answer.

Some jobs also require you to take regular blood tests and to say if you have ever taken drugs.

bear, we cross-posted so I didn't see yours until I'd posted mine.

I didn't say anything about crack, or about smoking it with anyone's son or daughter.

In answer, no, I wouldn't be OK with my aking coke at my dinner table. I wouldn't really like or expect anyone to take coke at my dinner table, including the TA under discussion here. But where she does (allegedly) take coke, and whatever else she takes, is none of my concern.

I'd say that it's more simplistic (and illogical) to conclude that the fact that I think others' drug-taking/drinking is none of my business means I go round smoking crack with my son/daughter.

No I'm not saying you're smoking crack with your son, I was using it as an example of how it is too simplistic to say Liberal thinker = pro drugs whatever drugs and Conservative= anti drugs.

So you're not the Liberal if you're public views contradict your personal. Dismissing coke as a 'drug of choice' implies it is on a par with alcohol and yet you wouldn't be happy for your children to snort a line of coke instead of drink a glass of wine at your table, if that was their 'drug of choice'?

Clarice I understand what you're saying.

Therhubarb The question being discussed was not whether drugs are dangerous and might cause death, it was whether there is an obvious 'profile' for a drug taker. Some found it impossible to believe that any professional person might do drugs. I was using Steve Jobs as an example to to illustrate the point that professional, and indeed very successful, people might take drugs.