To be shocked to learn that a teaching assistant take drugs at the weekend?

[LesleyPumpshaft]

Like the thread title says. Found out she takes cocaine and E's when she her family have her kids, so does her boyfriend, the rest of the time she is a complete piss-head.

She has also kids and lots of people seem to like her. She has not been sacked, so is obviously doing her job at the school.

None of my business what she gets up to I know, but AIU or naive to be rather shocked by this revelation?

I doubt she is working on a comedown. Unless she's taking it on Sunday nights (and quite a lot of it at that) she'd be fine by Monday morning.

This has happened in a school one of my relatives children attend. The woman in question leads a very questionable lifestyle indeed and her live in partner is trouble with a capital T.

In a small community people learn these facts pretty quickly.

Viv, the people teaching your children may already be recreational drug takers. So long as they are not doing a line before assembly, or having a craft joint behind the bike sheds, then what they do at home, out of work is none of your business.

viking have you ever smoked cannabis yourself?

Maybe, not telling!

cannabis is a tad different to coke and e's though.

Although it's different from E's and coke, it can lead to all sorts of mental issues, so I'd put it on the same list as being basically inappropriate for someone responsible for looking after kids.

good grief if you weeded out all the nursery workers and teachers who do this kind of thing at weekends, you would halve the workforce.

If you don't tell us soon how you actually 'know' this.

If you go to the same pubs etc in small town you find these things out tbh. Also, you're likely to know each other's friends.

You aren't learning facts you're listening to gossip and taking it as fact.

Also, lots of jobs have compulsory random drug testing. I'm actually surpised that people in the teaching profession don't. Maybe they need to take something at the end of the week though!

Maybe I was offered something. Have you thought of that?

Ahhh gossip then

Give it a miss and you'll be less 'shocked' about everything.

For goodness sake there have been surgeons and doctors who have admitted to being drug addicts in the past and they managed to hold on to their careers.

I think I would know if it was gossip or not. You clearly know more about it than I do WorraLiberty. If it was gossip I would be talking to people who actually know this person rather than getting opinions from people who have nothing to do with them IRL.

It's your story Lesley, tell it rather than leaving us filling in the glaring gaps in it.

Ffs, I was offered a line of coke while out at a gig. How is that gossip?

I dont think it's unreasonable to be shocked, it is a reaction to a revelation. If you are happy with her teaching and there is nothing to suggest that her lifestyle is affecting the children she is caring for and teaching then there isn't a problem.
I personally would be unhappy with having a TA who was a regular recreational drug user and 'total piss head' teaching my kids values with regards to lifestyle rights and wrongs, but I believe that to be my responsibility, and when they are at an age when drugs are cropping up in their lessons at school (or being talked about/offered from friends), I will be at home stearing them away from experimenting as my mum did with me (was going well until I caught her having a sly spliff, she was a very late experimenter...!)
I have 3 kids and had to weigh up the pro's and cons of having a drink recently on my birthday as it was a school night and DH was working the next day so couldn't do the school run. I chose to have a couple but knew when to stop, which I assume is how you TA uses her free time. I dont do drugs, smoked a bit of cannabis in my teens, but decided it wasn't for me. Had no interest in trying anything else. I thank my parents for that. I dont really remember drug education in school as I think we only had one lesson on it.
I dont know the long term effects of coke and E's, but if it is causing you concern, and you know for certain that her lifestyle is as you have described, then you have every right to raise your concerns with the school.

I once bumped into one of ds's nursery carers off her face at a festival

so what??? its her free time

Employment guidelines for teachers and people with responsibility for children in school state that you should reflect professional standards in your personal life too. I am a teacher and this was presented to the school staff in September. If you have evidence, then this behaviour is NOT acceptable for a TA.

So you're offered one line of coke and you speak to people who know this person (not the actual person themselves) and suddenly you are an expert in their drug and alcohol consumption.

Heresay isn't allowed in court and folk like you are one of the reasons why.

So that translates into her drinking all the time and using e and coke every weekend?

it was at a gig, so I doubt there were any of her pupils around to witness this behaviour..

so is obviously doing her job at the school.

^^ is the point

I'm not even planning to tell the school. I'm sure she is fine with the children and they would sack her if she was unable to do her job.

Just wondered what other people thought. Obviously don't want to discuss it with people who might know this person or know someone at the school as it could cause issues for the person in question.

If I'm being cagey it's so as not to reveal the person's identity.

YABU

They can do what they like on a weekend. Plus, how do you know that she's on a come down on a Monday morning? Everyone reacts differently and she may only take them up to saturday night/Sunday monring and be fine by 8am Monday.

When did I ever say I was an expert on drugs?

Was it the TA herself who offered you the cocaine? If so then YANBU at all, I would be shocked to be offered drugs by someone responsible for looking after children and I would worry that it would affect her in her job, I wouldn't be happy at all.