To be shocked to learn that a teaching assistant take drugs at the weekend?

[LesleyPumpshaft]

Like the thread title says. Found out she takes cocaine and E's when she her family have her kids, so does her boyfriend, the rest of the time she is a complete piss-head.

She has also kids and lots of people seem to like her. She has not been sacked, so is obviously doing her job at the school.

None of my business what she gets up to I know, but AIU or naive to be rather shocked by this revelation?

[SailorVie]

The NHS is riddled with doctors who go for it at the weekend...

[squeakytoy]

"I would not want my hypothetical future children doing that, and it would be hypocritical of me to try to stop them if I'd done the same thing myself"

That can be looked at from another angle though, in that if your children do take drugs, they can say to you "how would you know what it is like mum, you have never tried it".. whereas if you had tried it, you would have a better understanding of the effects...

The fact that you havent done any drugs will certainly not make any difference to whether your children do.

My mum and my MIL were/are completely naive and clueless about drugs and had rings run around them by their teenagers, and I know quite a few parents now who really dont know much about drug use at all, and would be clueless.

[JockTamsonsBairns]

Squeaky - fair point re the cost. However 20 quid a week on coke does not a habit make. I think the OP described the TA as having a habit, tho I stand corrected on that if I've misread.

GoldenBear, there's no tittle-tattle about it. I know many professionals who are into weekend recreational drugs, but I wouldn't gossip about it. It's too commonplace to be of any interest.

[Anonymumous]

Whether I have tried it or not is totally immaterial. The point is that taking ANY drugs you don't need (illegal or otherwise) is completely and utterly stupid - and that is the attitude I would like to impart to my children. And, of course, they will make their own decisions in the end - but at least I can give them a damned good bollocking for it without feeling the slightest bit guilty!

[HaveALittleFaith]

I think I'd be shocked at the lack of subtly with this case. Yes, people in this field take drugs but its a huge risk to your job. I'm work for the health service and I won't even have photos of a boozy night on Facebook! I'm a bit to imagine people I work with doing speed to get through the night shift but DH tells me I am naïve! Ive never done drugs. I used to drink a fair bit (can't now for health reasons) certainly heavy drinking is commonplace with my colleagues but I've never known them do drugs. If they do, they keep it well hidden from me!

But honestly? Yes maybe I am a bit naive but I'd be shocked if someone in that position not only did drugs but was blatant about it. I think if its habitual its very difficult to keep a clear line between work and play.

[Stangirl]

When I was in my 20s (the 90s) it seemed everyone went on weekend benders. The group of people I knew were teachers/doctors/lawyers - people with serious careers but were absolutely spangled on a regular basis. We thought nothing of it and not one person lost a job nor even got a bad report as far as i remember. Not sure what "the kids" are like now but the biggest danger for my mates who were teachers was bumping into any of their charges at a rave. I'm not saying that's right or I approve now - it was as it was then.

[GirlWithTheMouseyHair]

disagree peshwari but that's down to my personal experience versus yours I think - most people I know who use drugs (me included) used e and coke sporadically, people who smoke weed do it very very regularly. Also has harmful effects.

[foreverondiet]

I would not be happy about it and would discuss my concerns with the headteacher.

Very harmful effects and weekend habits can easily spread to rest of week.

[whois]

Yeah seriously Goldenbear hardly going to spout names of people who take part in illegal activities! Honestly.

[Oblomov]

"Very harmful effects and weekend habits can easily spread to rest of week. "

I don't agree with that. Utter rubbish. Unsubstantiated.
Plently of people can have lots to drink at a party on a friday or saturday night. They don't necessarily start drinking every night , day etc. Doesn't necessarily effect their work.
It can happen. Drinking can turn into a problem.
Drugs are hte same.
Do you think that if you 'do something' (drink/drugs/anything else) on a friday or saturday night, you are then are unable to stop it becoming a daily habit.
Utter rubbish.

[manicinsomniac]

Of course professional people take drugs! Like I said I (hopefully!) won't ever take coke again but among the group of friends I used to do it with (at a weekend, in a house, never spending more than £40) were:
1 teacher, 1 psychologist, 1 actuary and 1 person in some high powered office job I don't understand! Plus 2 or 3 more arty/studenty types that fit the stereotype better.

I also don't see how you can call TAs and teachers 'pillars of the community'. We're not policemen or serving in some high public office, we're just doing our job which happens to involve spending the day with children - you have to work to live not live to work.

TAs aren't that much more than minimum wage workers and do mostly menial tasks - it would be monstrously unfair to expect them to have the lifestyles of saints because they work in a school.

[waterlego6064]

Y Y to professionals! I used to teach and lots of colleagues took coke and ecstasy occasionally at the weekend. Lots smoked weed too, and got pissed. Lots of secondary school teachers are single people in their 20s and 30s and they are no different from any other single people in their 20s and 30s.

Of the people I know who currently use drugs, several are teachers, one is a solicitor, one a child psychologist, one a nurse and one is a social worker. None of them are 'problem' users.

Anonymumous I respect your stance and I do hope your children will never make those choices which you so fear. My parents were/are very anti-drugs, including smoking. Not only did I dabble, I ended up with several quite nasty addictions over the years which have taken a great deal of strength to overcome. The sad thing is that I have never been able to share with my parents the difficult times, nor the triumph of recovery, because I just can't talk to them about drugs. This has been a huge part of my adult life and I feel sad that there is so much about me they don't know. I think 'giving a bollocking' is rarely a good way to tackle drug experimentation in youngsters.

[samandi]

Cannabis is a tad different to coke and e's though

Why is that?

[samandi]

Oops, just noticed the discussion has moved on since page 1 ... ah well

[StuntGirl]

I'm surprised to be in the minority, but I wouldn't be happy about teaching staff at my school using drugs either. If I had concrete proof I would definitely report it.

As to whether the teacher in the OP is definitely doing drugs, I don't know. But YANBU to be shocked OP. I have a mate who works in a call centre who I found out does coke and I was shocked, had no idea. It might be widespread but not in my circles so to find people happily discussing illegal past times like that is shocking to me.

[ilovetermtime]

"Very harmful effects and weekend habits can easily spread to rest of week. "

I wish my weekend habit of a lie-in would spread to the rest of the week .

Seriously though, it sounds like you've just plucked that phrase out of the air. I don't know anyone who carrys on partying througout the week as if it's the weekend, so it can't be that easy.

I think the trouble with illegal drugs is that no-one who has not been hurt by them is willing to talk about their experiences with them, because they're illegal, so we only get to hear the horror stories. Imagine if the same were true of alcohol or even driving a car? Both of which are probably worse for your health.

Just let this poor TA get on with her life outside of school and get on with helping teach children at school. The drugs are obviously not affecting her work and it's no-one else's business.

[catgirl1976]

"people like this"

Lots of people take drugs. Doctors, barristers, teachers, bankers, nurses, plumbers, cleaners, counsellors, chefs...........lots of people

I know a fair few teachers who take drugs.

I wouldn't fancy a room full of children on a come down myself, but as long as it is not affecting how she does her job then YABU.

I bet loads of teachers drink at the weekends. Does that bother you?

[ThatVikRinA22]

im quite shocked at the relaxed attitude to drug taking on here tbh, i wouldnt be remotely impressed if any of my childrens teachers were getting of their tits on coke at the weekend.

as for the poster who said the police all drink at each others houses etc - im afraid thats bollocks! the group im on are all aging, much like me, all family oriented, none of us particularly hard drinkers, we have a bbq in summer, we maybe do a couple of nights out during a year, none of that involves getting ratarsed or off our faces on illegal substances....

ive noticed before on here a very relaxed attitude to drugs - its seems i am in a minority in that ive never taken any, nor wanted to, though having lost relatives to heroin use may have something to do with that, i dont know, but where do you draw the line on 'hard' drugs and 'recreational' drugs?

yep - im an old fuddy duddy clearly, but id not be happy to find out anyone in contact with my kids took drugs.

[expatinscotland]

YABU

[catgirl1976]

There are circa 50 million people in the UK.

About 2.2% of them take cocaine, so thats 1.1 million people.

I expect a fair few of those are teachers / teaching assistants.

[ThatVikRinA22]

does no one give a shit about the effects of trafficking, or the stuff that goes on behind getting your couple of grams of coke for a weekend?

www.guardian.co.uk/environment/georgemonbiot/2009/jul/23/cocaine

i suppose i see the results more than most, there is a very very murky side to cocaine use that most people dont get to see, and im not talking about the environmental costs now, im talking about peoples lives - just the other week i was involved in a very nasty attempted murder, all drug (cocaine and cannabis) related.

[catgirl1976]

People buy all sorts of things that are produced unethically

Cheap clothes, iphones, battery chicken, diamonds etc

I'm not saying its right or that people shouldn't be more aware, but as consumers our desire for a product or a good price often outweights our concern for how things are produced and drugs are no different in that respect.

[DorisBoltneck]

VicarInaTutu- ive noticed before on here a very relaxed attitude to drugs

I've noticed this too, threads about drug use seems to descend into a stealth boast-athon about who has taken drugs, who knows the most people that also take drugs etc, all trotted out with the endless repetition of how it did/ does them no harm and is better than booze

I don't like being around people who are overly drunk, or have taken drugs TBH. Dope smokers tend to act vague and a bit silly (and boring), coke heads are over confident and talk about themselves (usually fist eatingly boringly), repeating the same old guff, just louder and the MDMA fans are like gurning kids TV show hosts(and soon get very boring). I suppose that if they are doing it in a group, they don't have the tedious experience of being sober in their 'own' company.

[Goldenbear]

Yes exactly 1.1 million people in a population of 50 million people that's hardly anything and yet we're to be believe that Mumsnets posters make up a number of those people and the people they socialise with be ause apparently everyone is doing it- are they? I cannot name one person who is snorting/ smoking come at the weekends. I live in Brighton which did have the worst drug problem in the country, I live in what people would describe as a 'progressive community', my DS goes to a school that is quite central, the parents are alternative, boho types and I don't know one who indulges in coke at the weekend. In the past it maybe a different story but I'm sorry lol at the teachers at my DS's going halves on coke at the weekend.

A lot of people on here posting that everyone does it in their circles sound TBH like they don't know what they're talking about.

[Chandon]

Thank god I am not alone,

I found this thread depressing, until Doris and Vicarinatutu came along.

We have choices we can make, catgirl and the rest. We can decide NOT to buy this crap. Just because other people make some unethical choices about other goods, does not mean we can just shrug at the collateral damage of cocaine production and distribution. Look at what drugs do to a country like Mexico, look at the deaths and violence, the weapons and power bought by drugs lord. And then shrug...