Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be shocked that I heard the teacher shouting this to a primary age child?

160 replies

CrapBag · 28/09/2012 20:23

I was in the school the other day. A class were having PE, I don't know what age group. It was a male teacher with a particularly loud shouty voice. From the shouting I established that a boy had cut in the line (they were lining up to leave the hall). The teacher really shouted at this boy about cutting in and how rude it was etc etc, really going for it. Then we heard "YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A BULLY" shouted to this lad.

I know I don't know this child, he may be a bully. I don't know the context other than he cut in line at the end of PE but I was quite horrifed really to hear a teacher shout, and I do mean shout as in bellow, at this lad and call him this.

I must admit I am a fan of labelling the behaviour rather than the child. I am by no means a perfect parent but if DS is playing up, I will always tell him that what he is doing is naughty etc, not that he is naughty.

I wouldn't have been at all happy had this been my DC. I know it wasn't as mine is in reception and this was an older class.

Should I be shocked? Am I just being too precious at my first born being at school now?

OP posts:
Annunziata · 28/09/2012 20:24

I don't see anything wrong with it.

mum11970 · 28/09/2012 20:26

I don't see anything wrong in shouting either.

discrete · 28/09/2012 20:27

I'd be pretty horrified too.

phantomnamechanger · 28/09/2012 20:31

you saw a one off incident and were not in possession of all the facts, so, IMO, YABU - don't judge that poor teacher when you have no idea of the circumstances.
were you to see this sort of thing regularly, or hear reports back from your Dc, that would be another matter.

CrapBag · 28/09/2012 20:32

It wasn't the shouting really. It was what he said wrt to "you're nothing but a bully" just describing the shouting to set the scene.

I don't think I would be happy with anyone speaking to my child like that, even though I would be mortified if they were bullying anyone.

OP posts:
sookiesookie · 28/09/2012 20:33

Good god, you know alot from an incident you heard but did not see.

BeatTheClock · 28/09/2012 20:33

Maybe he is a bully though.

sookiesookie · 28/09/2012 20:33

So if he is a bully, what would be the issue?

theninjabreadma · 28/09/2012 20:34

I would assume that the teacher knows the child. What you saw/heard was only a small snapshot of the day.

As far as I am concerned, a child who behaves in a bullying way is a bully and if more teachers challenged such behaviour (instead of being terrified to, in case someone takes offence) then maybe our schools would be happier, safer places for the kids whose lives are blighted by bullies.

Annunziata · 28/09/2012 20:35

There's a lot of little shits about who should get told in certain terms they are nothing but bullies.

ChazsGoldAttitude · 28/09/2012 20:35

Its impossible to judge from the little you saw. If he cut in front of a child who he regularly targets for unkind behaviour it might be a very good thing that he was called out publically for doing it.

On the other hand maybe the teacher was being an arse.

AgentZigzag · 28/09/2012 20:37

There's no reason for a teacher to be shouting that a child is a bully.

If she thought they were there are more effective ways of dealing with his behaviour.

I wouldn't do anything about it now (like finding out who she is or talking to the school) just keep your eyes/ears open, if this teacher's like this it won't be a one off.

DD had a teacher who was similar and very shouty, a lot of the mums thought so (not bitching about her but just concerned about their children), she left half way through the year which resolved it.

Would you be OK with a teacher shouting that at your children Annunziata and mum11970? Because I'd be pretty pissed off.

theninjabreadma · 28/09/2012 20:37

you've more or less said that even if your child was a bully, you would object to them being told that they are. That attitude amongst parents is part of what makes bullying so hard to tackle.

stuffitunderthebed · 28/09/2012 20:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WofflingOn · 28/09/2012 20:39

He should have targeted the behaviour and not the child, but you disingenuously say 'I don't know the age group' Upper KS2 perhaps, rather than reception?
Some children are bullies, some are afraid to come to school because of the relentless targeting and some teachers get to try and deal with it day in and day out with parents who are not necessarily in agreement and with no backing from the SMT. Perhaps the teacher over-reacted that time.
As others have said, it's a snapshot.

Annunziata · 28/09/2012 20:40

If they deserved it, yes. I'd be more annoyed at the child for deserving the name than the teacher for calling them it.

sookiesookie · 28/09/2012 20:41

I have to ask, why were you wondering around the school during lesson time? i assume if you worked there you would have had an idea who the teacher was and which class was doing PE that day.

CrapBag · 28/09/2012 20:42

Ok, I will concede that the teacher may have not been wrong. Yes there are children who need telling, maybe this child does have a history.

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 28/09/2012 20:42

Was that to me theninja?

If it was, you couldn't be more wrong, I just don't believe in humiliation as a form of discipline or punishment.

And how would you measure whether he was deserving of it Annunziata? Just on the teachers judgement?

bamboostalks · 28/09/2012 20:42

If you are truly horrified at hearing a teacher shout, you may wish to consider HE.

CrapBag · 28/09/2012 20:43

I was not wandering around the school and I do not work there.

I was doing a course in the next room.

OP posts:
Annunziata · 28/09/2012 20:43

No smoke without fire.

Maria2007loveshersleep · 28/09/2012 20:43

YANBU. Regardless of the circumstances, and despite what this child did or didn't do, the phrase 'you are nothing but a bully' is unacceptable in whatever context. Personally I would have a chat wih the Headteacher about it as it would worry me. Also: presuming that child was behaving in a bullying way, surely this is not the way to deal with it?!

CrapBag · 28/09/2012 20:44

I was not horrifed at hearing a teacher shout ffs! It was what he said that shocked me.

OP posts:
ReallyTired · 28/09/2012 20:45

Teachers are dammed whatever they do. Prehaps there is more to this than you could see/ hear.

At least this teacher is attempting to make a stand against bullying. Prehaps in the cold light of day there are better words the teacher could use. However its far better than many teachers who allow bullies to make victims lives hell.