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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to take DD out of nursery? Or should we persevere?

44 replies

HereLittleKitty · 28/09/2012 09:22

Right here are the facts of it...

Our first 2 children never went to nursery, they did 2.5 hrs of surestart playgroup from 2.9 years and then started reception at school but DD was interested in school because of her sblings going, said she wanted to wear a uniform ect ... so when school rang with a nursery place we greed.

Its a catholic school nursery so its 9am - 3:15pm, NO choice in that.
She has to wear full uniform (tie ect)

She is 4 in Dec.

She started on Sep18th and was ok for the first day or 2.

Now she cries so much when we drop her off, it takes at least 20 minutes of us trying to leave with her sobbing saying 'please don't leave me' ect ...

Teacher says she is 'fine' 10 minutes after we leave.

She is a very fussy eater (at the end of my tether with her and hot meals) so she is basically having 2 pices of bread for her lunch every day (at home she enjoys her lunch as she eats sandwiches, crisps, yogurt, fruit, breadsticks ect) at school its stuff like omlettes which she wont entertain.

She is coming home knackered and hungry and cries in the mornings when we put her uniform on.

We called the surestart centre she was at for the year before and they said they would love her back for the mornings and shes got a place if we want it (we must tell them by Tuesday)

Its also a free place (bonus)

So WDWD?

We can't decide as someties she says she 'likes' school and the teachers praise her as shes ver smart and they say they love her being there and she has so much fun ... but from her reaction in the morning I can't see it being so rosy all day after 9:30?!

Plus one of the teachers said DD 'lashed out' at her when she was upset, she NEVER EVER did anything like that at playgroup.

She was 100% happy there.

WWYD?

OP posts:
UsingAPsuedonym · 28/09/2012 09:25

I'd just take her back to where she was happy. Not sure why you wouldn't toucd honest.

ScramblyEgg · 28/09/2012 09:28

I agree, I'd take her out of the nursery & back to playgroup. Apart from anything else, that's a really long day for a child who's not 4 yet.

DontmindifIdo · 28/09/2012 09:29

hmm, she might well be fine after 10 minutes, DS is 2.5 and goes to a nursery on the days I work from 7:45 until 5:15 - he often has cried at drop off and I've had to leave him crying, but in the time it's taken me to fold down the buggy, put it in the store and walk back past the nursery room window, he's been happily playing. It was just the separation that upset him, could be you are getting stressed by it and she's picking up on it?

Can you ask if you can send her with a packed lunch?

However, if it's making you miserable, unless you need to keep her there for the school place next year, I'd take her out and put her in the other play group, just be warned, you might be going through this all again next year...

Original poster
HereLittleKitty · 28/09/2012 09:32

We did do the same with DS, we took him out and he was fine in reception, a year makes a big difference.

DH said that she went in fine today ... but it is own clothes day so maybe she feels more comftable? And she had to go straight to the carpet and sit down with the others rather than the usual 'play' in the mornings.

So she seemed happy today

So confusing!

OP posts:
Original poster
HereLittleKitty · 28/09/2012 09:33

We aske about packed lunch and they 'Don't allow it for nursery'

OP posts:
outtolunchagain · 28/09/2012 09:35

I would move her , why have all this stress on her if it's not necessary . Plenty of time for school ; it lasts 14 years after all

secondseverncrossing · 28/09/2012 09:41

No way would my three year old be doing full school days anywhere if I wasn't working and didn't need her to be there for childcare reasons.

Original poster
HereLittleKitty · 28/09/2012 09:46

Arghh, I want to go get her now, lol.

I guess today is her last day then.

I just wanted some confirmation its the right thing,

Thankyou.

OP posts:
DeWe · 28/09/2012 09:53

May well be fine after 10 minutes. I used to nanny a 2yo. When his mummy left he would look inconsolable. He used to stand at the door crying... until he heard the door bang (very distinctive) at the bottom of the flats. It was like a switch. He would turn round with a broad smile and immediately start playing happily.
I hardly had a tear out of him (other than when fallen over) once she'd gone. She used to phone me from the car park to check he was okay-it took her less than 5 minutes to get there-and I could always tell her truthfully he was happy and smiling.

You may be better just dropping and going, rather than trying to calm her for 20 minutes. We tried at first her going gently, and trying to calm him before she went, and he got worse and worse and more wound up. Once we'd worked out that he was fine after she'd gone, she would give him a hug and kiss, and say "Bye bye. I'm going to work" and go. That worked a lot better.

MargoThreadbetter · 28/09/2012 09:56

If she's just eating bread and school won't discuss packed lunch, I'd take her out Smile

NulliusInBlurba · 28/09/2012 09:56

A nursery that insists on 3 yo wearing full uniforms with ties is not putting the needs of the children first. No wonder she's not happy.

WilsonFrickett · 28/09/2012 10:00

She's just 3. The shirts and ties thing, plus the food issue would really put me off. I know uniform is a small thing in the scheme of things but I have a friend who sent her DCs to a 'uniformed' nursery - their uniform was a sweatshirt and joggers, all cosy and comfy and perfect for running around and getting dirty in. If a 3yo is wearing a shirt and tie I'm wondering what kind of activities they're doing tbh. I'd take her out for a bit.

moosemama · 28/09/2012 10:03

I'd take her back to where she was happy. It's a long day and some children just aren't ready at that age.

Hopefully she'll be better able to cope when she's that bit older next year and you will have time to address the food issues in the meantime.

QuangleWangleQuee · 28/09/2012 10:06

Yes take her out and send her somewhere she will be happy. If the child stop crying when the parents have gone it may just be that they have given up as the person who could take them away is not there any more.

porcamiseria · 28/09/2012 10:08

i have just taken out my little one from creche for similar reasons

life IS TOO SHORT!

GOOD LUCK

nutellaontoast · 28/09/2012 10:10

Another vote for take her out Smile

goldenlula · 28/09/2012 10:14

She may well be fine just after you walk out the door, most were when I worked in a Reception class for 8 years and a pre school, but that will not make you feel any better. Taking into account all the other things (lunch issue, the fact she was happy at the pre school) I would put her back to the pre school. In a year's time she will be fine. I left ds2 (4.3 years) crying at school today, but luckily for me I have to pick him up at 10.30 for a SALT app. He is only doing part time at the moment, I am building I'm up to full time as he is not ready (immaturity is one of the things the paed has said as a possible answer to my concerns regarding ds2).

sookiesookie · 28/09/2012 11:02

Dd went to the schools nursery from 3, she had a full school uniform. She loved it. But it was only half days, perhaps its just too long for her?
My dd isn't picky, but I wouldn't send her somewhere she won't eat.
If she goes to the school when she is 4, what will you do for food for her then?

QuangleWangleQuee · 28/09/2012 11:58

She can probably send in packed lunch as i got the impression from the OP packed lunch is only not allowed in nursery?

BigFatLegsInWoolyTIghts · 28/09/2012 12:01

Oh yes...out she comes! I hope she enjoys her playgroup!

Doingthedo · 28/09/2012 12:03

it's not statutory for her to be there, full days is a lot for a 3 yo, especially if you have a choice, take to the part time playgroup!

Tertius · 28/09/2012 12:11

Take her out! Children are at school enough if you ask me. And I'm a primary teacher. Leave it til she is school age.

Blondeshavemorefun · 28/09/2012 12:14

As all others have said take her out and back to old place

Next sept she will have no choice

At the money you do

Blondeshavemorefun · 28/09/2012 12:15

Moment not money

Bloody iPhone

Original poster
HereLittleKitty · 28/09/2012 12:43

Thanks everyone,

I know family members will moan but after reding back my own words it seems mad to keep her there.

Yes in reception she can have packed lunches. Just not nursery.

OP posts: