to take DD out of nursery? Or should we persevere?

[HereLittleKitty]

Right here are the facts of it...

Our first 2 children never went to nursery, they did 2.5 hrs of surestart playgroup from 2.9 years and then started reception at school but DD was interested in school because of her sblings going, said she wanted to wear a uniform ect ... so when school rang with a nursery place we greed.

Its a catholic school nursery so its 9am - 3:15pm, NO choice in that.
She has to wear full uniform (tie ect)

She is 4 in Dec.

She started on Sep18th and was ok for the first day or 2.

Now she cries so much when we drop her off, it takes at least 20 minutes of us trying to leave with her sobbing saying 'please don't leave me' ect ...

Teacher says she is 'fine' 10 minutes after we leave.

She is a very fussy eater (at the end of my tether with her and hot meals) so she is basically having 2 pices of bread for her lunch every day (at home she enjoys her lunch as she eats sandwiches, crisps, yogurt, fruit, breadsticks ect) at school its stuff like omlettes which she wont entertain.

She is coming home knackered and hungry and cries in the mornings when we put her uniform on.

We called the surestart centre she was at for the year before and they said they would love her back for the mornings and shes got a place if we want it (we must tell them by Tuesday)

Its also a free place (bonus)

So WDWD?

We can't decide as someties she says she 'likes' school and the teachers praise her as shes ver smart and they say they love her being there and she has so much fun ... but from her reaction in the morning I can't see it being so rosy all day after 9:30?!

Plus one of the teachers said DD 'lashed out' at her when she was upset, she NEVER EVER did anything like that at playgroup.

She was 100% happy there.

WWYD?

I was all ready to announce to DD she could go back to playgroup again when she came home with the 'pupil of the week' jumper, which she announce 'she gets to waer ALL next week' and she loves playgroup now

:(

Sorry *nursery, she loves nursery now.

I think shes just saying that as she got pupil of the week and it was own clothes day and she wore her favourite heart pants.

BUT she didn't cry at all at drop off this morning so am super confused now.

Why don't you see how it goes next week and if she seems tired and unhappy then pull her out. Childhoods too short to be tested before they need to be.

I need to let surestart know our decesion monday.

I'd probably put her back in surestart over the food issue, she's not eating and it's a long day.

Beg the SureStart people for one more week to decide, or at least a few more days?

Why does she have to stay all day?

What are they doing that makes that necessary?

If you did 9.30-12, what would happen?

Its just not an option diddl, they treat it like school, 9-3:15, no option of 9-12.

I´d take her out, then.

She´s not even 4, bless her!

Here kids start school at 6-4 just seems like a baby by comparison-less than 4-sounds like altogether too much.

And school days here are 8-12 for the first two yrs, 8-1 for the next two.

The idea being that kids have a life as well as go to school!

The day will be as long if she is at home or at nursery so I don't get the "long day" comments. My DS has been doing 8am till 5:30 since he was 4.5 months.

She is fine 10 minutes after you leave her and she may well do the same "crying at drop off" at the Surestart place. Seems a bit odd they won't allow a packed lunch though.

But if you think she will be happier, and you will be happier, plus you will be saving money, then take her out.

Could you do a trial for a couple of weeks and still hold her nursery place open just to see how it goes and which works best?

"My DS has been doing 8am till 5:30 since he was 4.5 months."

But surely at that age he was just being cared for!

This a´sounds as if it might be too structured for OPs daughter.

Ah ok - I'm too new to this to know the difference in the different childcare schemes properly

If the nursery is more like a mini school and the sure start would be more play and care then that might be much better

Full days are very long for a child that age. Sometimes a necessity for working mums, but often full-time nurseries are made much more homely and much less school-like in order to compensate.

If she does not need to be there, I would take her out - especially if you still have a place in a playgroup where she was happy.

We had a talk to her and we have decided she will go in Monday (with her pupil of the week jumper) then go playgroup tuesday from then on.

I think it's very rigid to not allow packed lunches for such young children. Many children are "fussy" at this age, or gain comfort from having the food they know. It's counter-productive , at a time when they are trying to settle and get used to all the changes that are happening, for lunchtime to be the "thing" that stresses them out. It's also a PITA for staff, and if they don't eat enough they will be ratty or tired in the afternoon.

Good decision, BTW

I agree you've made the right decision, and just wanted to add that you should follow your instincts in these situations. I tool my DD out of nursery because I just didn't feel right about it; lost four weeks fees but it was worth it to make my girl happy. Hope yours gets on better at her playgrouo!

Good decision!

Id not wanted to say anymore but I think you are right. Gut instincts are best to follow with regards to children and school etc... And she is so little. No need to pressure her at the moment. Once she starts school properly she will be there for so long.

Seems an awful long day for someone so young, full uniform and tie for a littly is . If they don't allow packed lunch what do the kids eat . Just to rigid, in some counties kids don't start school until 7. She is only little once, stick with where she is happy