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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To put naked pics of your 10 year old DD on FB

148 replies

KellyElly · 27/09/2012 21:38

Was just looking through some holiday pics of my friend and her family on FB and linked are pics of her friends DD (10 years old) naked and being thrown about in the pool by my friends husband and various males friends.

This made me feel really uncomfortable not because I think the men r peadophiles or anything like that but I just don't think a girl that age should be butt naked in this situation. Please tell me if I'm a prude, IBU etx as I hace a young DD (only 3) and this made me feel really uncomfortable.

I have childhood issues that make me feel like this and need to know if its that making me feel this way or if others do too. I don't trust my own judgement on this sort of thing.

OP posts:
LineRunner · 28/09/2012 00:07

I'd get off FaceBook, OP. Sounds awful for you.

Startailoforangeandgold · 28/09/2012 00:27

By 10 DD2 would have been mortified and I think even DD1 would have covered up for random men (perhaps not my dad at 10, but anyone else).
And she is totally happy to let her dad do up her bra at 14.

Both my DDs had breast buds by that age and would wear cropped tops for PE changing.

So no you UANBU

ZombiesAreClammyDodgers · 28/09/2012 00:31

WTF was she thinking??

ZombiesAreClammyDodgers · 28/09/2012 00:32

And naked is not on at any age.

SomeoneThatYouUsedToKnow · 28/09/2012 00:49

Completely wrong. I would tell the Mother. It is very, very odd that the other people felt comfortable with being around a naked 10 year old. Even weirder that they felt comfortable being photographed. Seriously weird!

I would consider reporting it too.

Just topless would be ok.

PeshwariNaan · 28/09/2012 04:06

Naked children on Facebook (yours or not) is never, ever a good idea IMO. Share those photos in private. I have seen way too many "adorable" baby bums on Facebook and thought, "sheesh, what creep is able to browse through these?"

NapaCab · 28/09/2012 05:07

Personally it makes me feel uncomfortable when FB friends post naked pictures of their babies on Facebook, let alone a naked picture of a child of 10. I am pretty prudish though and dislike public nudity.

Is there a cultural difference here e.g. are they not from the UK? When I lived in Germany, for example, public nudity was a lot more common. A German friend told me she grew up in a two-family house and regularly used the sauna naked with her brother and the sons of the family downstairs, even as a teenager, without it being sexual or her finding it embarrassing. I found that hard to believe as nothing on God's earth would have persuaded me to share a sauna with my brother or neighbouring boys as a child or teenager but hey, different strokes for different folks.

If they're British, however, and not part of a naturist group then it's weird and inappropriate.

nooka · 28/09/2012 05:09

dd and I occasionally skinny dip in our backyard pool at night, it's fairly sheltered but we are very careful with our towels! She is just 12 now but I don't think she's been comfortable with public nudity for a good few years. So I'd say that at 10 it is at the very least rather surprising, and equally surprising that the adults were OK with it (especially given that they were obviously touching her to throw her in the pool).

I haven't taken photos of the kids naked since thy were four or five, and those pics are not on FB. Not because of pedophiles but because once posted they are there forever.

lovebunny · 28/09/2012 06:03

complain to facebook and get the picture taken down. contact the authorities about your friend - her child is at risk.

flatpackhamster · 28/09/2012 07:32

scentednappyhag

Insane and freakish flatpack? To think that a ten year old shouldn't be naked in the Internet? hmm

Yes, insane and freakish. No other country in Europe has this bizarre attitude to nudity. You want to improve women's self-image, start by not treating naked children as some terrifying aberration.

And I love all the 'OMFGWTFPAEDOZ' stuff here, it's just wonderful. A triumph of media-generated paranoia over rational thought.

KenLeeeeeee · 28/09/2012 07:43

Just to clarify my post - I don't buy into the OMGPEEDOEMMURRRJUNSEE wrt photos online. I do, however, feel very strongly that a child has the right to privacy and that uploading photos like those described in the OP violates that privacy. At 10 years old, I felt very private about my body and would have hated seeing naked photos of me in public.

Bossybritches22 · 28/09/2012 07:49

Also what folks STILL don't realise is that once posted on FB you have no conntrol over photos, they belong to FB.

Even though my security is tight as a drum I rarely post pictures of my kids on there, naked or otherwise!

EdMcDunnough · 28/09/2012 07:50

I would not willingly expose any child to a man outside of our close family, or basically within our home (where it can happen by accident/while getting dressed etc). Even at 3 or so, he or she would have a swimming costume on.

This sounds utterly wrong especially for a 10yo girl.

Appalling to put the pictures on FB as well. But I am more concerned that the mother allowed these men to touch and look at her daughter without clothes on. That is really worrying.

susitwoshoes · 28/09/2012 07:50

and it's worth remembering, whatever your FB privacy settings, once you upload a photo on to FB they own it, not you and as such can do what they like with it. Report it.

HeadfirstForHalos · 28/09/2012 08:04

YANBU. I have a 10 year old dd and there is no way I would allow that, or that she would even want to do that.

Original poster
KellyElly · 28/09/2012 08:17

Napa no everyone's from the UK

OP posts:
porcamiseria · 28/09/2012 08:19

even reading this makes me feel VERY uneasy and yukky

flatpackhamster · 28/09/2012 08:23

EdMcDunnough

I would not willingly expose any child to a man outside of our close family, or basically within our home (where it can happen by accident/while getting dressed etc). Even at 3 or so, he or she would have a swimming costume on.

90% of sex abusers are a family member or close family friend.

This sounds utterly wrong especially for a 10yo girl.

Appalling to put the pictures on FB as well. But I am more concerned that the mother allowed these men to touch and look at her daughter without clothes on. That is really worrying.

Yes, the mother is clearly failing to protect her child because ALL MEN ARE PAEDOS.

Jesus wept.

Oh yes, the Salafists called - those Burkinis you ordered to 'protect the modesty' of your children are on their way.

SomeoneThatYouUsedToKnow · 28/09/2012 08:33

Are you going to report the photo. It's anonymous.

Facebook Help pages say
We have a strict "no nudity or pornography" policy.

Seems very clear to me. They are not going to judge the type of nudity they just don't allow it.

Badgerina · 28/09/2012 08:35

I wouldn't put naked photos of a child of any age on Facebook.

Halfling · 28/09/2012 08:47

FB says no nudity so please do the child a favour and report the pic stating your reasons. It will also indicate to your friends that it is inappropriate.

loopyluna · 28/09/2012 08:49

Well I live in France and have a 10 year old DD. No way would she (or any of her French friends) be comfortable being seen naked on fb! And no way would any of my French friends or neighbors condone this.
So stop the argument that it's just Brits who think that this is wrong!

YADNBU and I would be tempted to report this to fb.

GoldPlatedNineDoors · 28/09/2012 08:50

Good lord, I was Shock at a friend putting a video on FB that included her 15yo DSD in her knickers and tshirt.

But this is even worse.

Please report.

BertieBotts · 28/09/2012 08:51

I was swimming naked on a family holiday in the swimming pool of the villa we had hired when I was 12, my cousin was also naked and she was 9. I have photos of it somewhere (!) but would never ever put them up on facebook or show them to anyone - it's just common sense surely. And nothing to do with paedophiles (although that could be a concern online) but more because at 10 you're old enough to be embarrassed by it.

SomeoneThatYouUsedToKnow · 28/09/2012 08:52

flatpackhamster. Noones posts are as hysterical as yours. Even if there were no PAEDO'S this is still very much a privacy issue for the girl involved.

I am very laid back about nudity but I still think it is inappropriate to have a photo of a naked ten year old on Facebook however innocent the photo is. The girl is not old enough to make an informed desicion.