For thinking this surgeon was a bit out of order? OK, I know I'm overweight but...

[trickynicky]

Not sure if I'm being oversensitive here but I was in hospital over the weekend passing a gallbladder - terrible pain. On the ward round on the following morning, Mr Bigshot, the Consultant Surgeon came round with his minions (4/5 student doctors). He examined my stomach, prodded and poked and then stated I needed to have the gallbladder removed. He then looked at my table upon which was half a piece of toast I'd eaten for breakfast and an open mini packet of butter half opened. He then ceremoniously picked up the butter and said "well, you don't want to be eating that if you have gallbladder issues - it's fat" and then he pinched a piec of my stomach and said "you've got enough here"!! I was somewhat taken aback and just mumbled "I know".... he then obviousy thought better of what he said and said "I didn't mean to insult you"........smiled, and then wondered off.....

On reflection, I am mortified. Actually, he's totally right. I am quite a bit overweight - I do KNOW that.... but wasn't this just a little bit insensitive, unprofessional etc etc or am I being over dramatic?

but he said he didnt mean to be rude.

This does not absolve one of rudeness.

Like soverylucky I had a blunt doctor moment a few years back. I was suffering with high blood pressure and had got a bit porky (BMI 27ish). My consultant told me that I'd gained a kilo since I'd last seen him - it was the first week in January so it really was Christmas weight - and that there was a strong link between obesity and high bp. I was upset at his bluntness but used it as the kick start I needed. Three years on I'm also 3 stone lighter and no longer have health issues.

Whilst it's not unreasonable to be upset try to focus on his message rather than his choice of words and use his unpleasantness as a springboard to change your lifestyle. There's nothing more pleasing than walking into a follow up appointment in a pair of size 10 jeans being healthy and symptom free!

You are not being oversensitive, - he was incredibly insensitive. It was insulting and degrading and why should he be permitted to do that because he's a big shot surgeon?

While he was factually correct about the fat issue there are kinder and more effective ways to convey this to a patient.

He was wrong, - but it sounds like he knew it though, - I wonder whether he's thinking this comment might come back and bite him on the arse.

Was he Doc Martin??

"If I said to a black person "hey, you're black, your ancestors were probably slaves, right?" Would that be okay just because its truthful?"

How is this in any way an analogy?

That statement is deliberately provocative - whereas this doctor is addressing a health issue which is caused by carrying excess weight. No, it clearly wasn't delivered in a very sensitive way, but racism simply does not compare.

He sounds like an enormous rude arsehole, he did apologise slightly I suppose, he must have foot in mouth syndrome

Very rude indeed.
IMO it's bad enough just having all the students standing silently goggling at you. He's probably excellent at doing surgery though so try to focus on that.

I asked a surgeon if my unexpected return to hospital with a complication was likely to happen again and he replied, "Well, If we could see into the future I'd be able to know....." at which point I couldn't help myself laughing and he was embarrassed at saying such a silly thing :o

The butter comment seems fine to me but pinching your stomach is intrusive and beyond rude, IMO.

I think he was rude.

He would not get away with this in America, where patients are customers, as well. Therefore consultants can be polite - he just doesn't see why should have to.

Manners are important and there is no reason for him to not have them.

It doesn't matter that what he said was right - he was making a cheap joke at your expense, in front of his students. He should feel embarrassed by that. There are better ways of telling you to avoid fat in your diet.

He sounds like he was showing off in front of his minions.

Don't feel mortified. I expect they thought he was a total arsehole and are regularly on the receiving end of his charm and it sounds like he was a bit embarrassed by it too.

Hope you are feeling better

no doubt he was showing off to his students.

perahps this is the incentive you need to lose weight op?

I actually value the straightforward way that consultants speak. I'd much rather them be free of tact and tell the brutal truth, not sugar the pill so to speak, than (the way I've heard some nurses talk) simpering and sweet to your face and then bitching and laughing when they are in 'private'.

Mr Bigshott indeed! i thought i was going to read this and NOT be sympathetic, but you are in hospital. you ate the breakfasst that was brought to you. You didn't specially request BUTTER.

What an arsehole. It is possible to tell people sensitive truths in a sensitive way, pinching your stomach while you are lying in pain and vulnerable, in front of an audience is not the way to give you a message about your weight. Twat.

I think he went too far.

It's all very well to tell you to stay off the fat, but to pinch your stomach like that was bloody unnecessary.

Was Mr Bigshot's real name Lancelot Spratt?

One of those little tubs of butter barely covers half a slice of bread. I always sometimes use two or three. If I were in hospital, I would ask for more than the one especially if I have a soft boiled egg.

Oh no.... don't put in a complaint like some here have advised. You want a surgeon to do your surgery don't you? Or would you rather he get suspended and then some nice chap with lovely manners but no skills do the surgery instead?
When they talk like this it's not personal. You are simply another body that he will need to perform surgery on in order for that body to work correctly.
If a surgeon saves my life or makes my body work better then he can insult me as much as he bloody well wants to. After all, I can always call him Mr Bigshot in retaliation ;)

He was a bit rude, but he was right. I don't think you should complain.

It's not a straightforward choice between manners and skill. It is possible for a surgeon to possess both!

YABU.... Other people have probably told you the same thing in the past but chosen to ignore it. He's struck a nerve and now you feel embarrassed into doing something about your diet and weight. The end justifies the means.....

i wouldnt complain either.

His brain is being 'clinical' - and that came out of his mouth. He was thinking as a surgeon, not a counsellor.

Prat. And a bigger prat for showing off in front of other people, people who will learn from him and go on to be prats themselves.

He was rude, but surgeons are not in the job because of their sensitive manner (although obviously many of them manage to combine surgical skill with a bit of humanity).

I know it's too late but speaking up at time is the best plan - as a medical student we always LOVED it when a rude consultant was pulled up for it by a patient because-we-were-all-too-worried-about-grades-and-references-to-do-it