For thinking this surgeon was a bit out of order? OK, I know I'm overweight but...

[trickynicky]

Not sure if I'm being oversensitive here but I was in hospital over the weekend passing a gallbladder - terrible pain. On the ward round on the following morning, Mr Bigshot, the Consultant Surgeon came round with his minions (4/5 student doctors). He examined my stomach, prodded and poked and then stated I needed to have the gallbladder removed. He then looked at my table upon which was half a piece of toast I'd eaten for breakfast and an open mini packet of butter half opened. He then ceremoniously picked up the butter and said "well, you don't want to be eating that if you have gallbladder issues - it's fat" and then he pinched a piec of my stomach and said "you've got enough here"!! I was somewhat taken aback and just mumbled "I know".... he then obviousy thought better of what he said and said "I didn't mean to insult you"........smiled, and then wondered off.....

On reflection, I am mortified. Actually, he's totally right. I am quite a bit overweight - I do KNOW that.... but wasn't this just a little bit insensitive, unprofessional etc etc or am I being over dramatic?

[thebeesnees79]

he is right that gall bladder is 100% made worse by high fat foods. I am amazed that the nhs offer patients butter, especially if you are in hospital with a high fat related problem.
He should have stopped however at this is bad for you, there was no need to reference your tummy.

[squoosh]

geegee888 the point is, that kind of humiliation doesn't fill people with renewed vigour, it encourages them to go home looking for solace in a box of cream buns.

Encouragement not humiliation.

[LizLemon007]

so there are other dickheads out there. This consultant is paid a lot of money and part of his job is supposed to be sensitivity. That's not in debate. They are not expected to tell people that being fat is ok or that it won't affect your heatlh, but to ridicule somebody with an audience, that is NOT bedside manner.

[MousyMouse]

maybe the suregon needed to pinch the fat to assess what tools he needs?
doesn't excuse the behaviour, though, if it was the case that he needed to assess the amount of fat he could have explained it differently.

[FunnysInLaJardin]

YANBU OP, he was very rude and unprofessional. Whether it is true or not is not the point here at all.

[BigBoobiedBertha]

Yanbu. I agree that he could and should give you advice on your weight and diet and be plain speaking about it but what he said and did to you wasn't plain speaking it was rude. Grabbing a piece of your stomach was over familiar imo. You expect to be prodded and poke by doctors but only as and when it is necessary and in a professional way but that wasn't necessary, it was just unkind.

I just hope the trainee doctors don't think that it is a good way to treat people!

[hedgehogpatronus]

OP my husband is a general surgeon, gallbladders are his bread and butter (sorry), and he is not that great with tact. Neither are any of his colleagues, well the ones I've met at least.

However, your consultant's comment was out of order. I just read your post out to DH and he confirmed that he would never in a million years speak in such a manner to a patient. He also said if he felt a patient's diet was contributing to their illness he would only ever raise it with them in private (not on a ward round) and in a more sensitive, supportive manner.

Your consultant is a pig. YADNBU and please mention your discomfort to the hospital, perhaps to the nursing unit manager or someone else more reasonable. Unfortunately consultants are generally untouchable and get away with all sorts, but that doesn't mean how you feel is invalid.

[Viviennemary]

It was insensitive of him. But I don't think surgeons are exactly renowned for their sensitivity. Some are charming and kind. If a doctor says you're fat it's a medical fact. So different from somebody else saying it.

[OhChristFENTON]

According to the NHS website if the OP lost only half a stone she would be back in the 'healthy weight' band.

[squoosh]

5' 8" and 12 stone is hardly Channel 5 shock doc territory is it?

[BigBoobiedBertha]

I think also what somebody mentioned earlier is very true. You can increase your risk of gallstones when you lose weight, especially if you do it rapidly. It happened to my uncle. No gallstones when he was obese (and the OP is a long way from that) but as soon as he lost several stone, he had problems.

If the OP is only 1/2 stone from being the right weight, then that is even worse. He wasn't talking to somebody who was very obviously putting their health in danger. I hope the doctor was skinny because it is very easy to be half a stone overweight and not even notice, especially if you are tall like the OP.

[LadyMargolotta]

YANBU. Very horrible to humiliate you like that. You can complain, and I'm sure all the nurses will agree with you because he is probably well known for this sort of behaviour.

[LadyMargolotta]

Anyway, hope you get better soon.

[GuybrushThreepwodWasHere]

Sorry to generalise but most surgeons I've met have been as rude without necessarily realising it.

You weren't overly sensitive- he was just being a bellend rude

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

Ignore the nasty posts here too, some people on MN just love to be nasty to people who are even slightly overweight, personally I think it speaks volumes about their own issues

[fedupofnamechanging]

delhi we pay for the NHS and are entitled to receive both medical treatment and good manners from our medical staff. You talk about the NHS as if it's not paid for by us and therefore we have no right to expect such niceties as polite surgeons.

[fedupofnamechanging]

Oh and OP, I don't think that 5'8" and 12 stone is fat. You may be overweight but you are not fat, imo.

[poozlepants]

I got gallstones basically because I was on a vlcd for 2 years. I had to be on a vlcd to lose weight as I have severe PCOS so normal diets and exercise don't work. So being fat or eating too much fat is not the only reason people get gallstones.
So he was a cheeky bastard really. He wasn't giving you advice in any constructive way he was humiliating you unnecessarily to show off. Idiotic and entirely unprofessional.

[Pandemoniaa]

Bloody cheek! Regardless of whether you are overweight, there are rather more appropriate ways of discussing an appropriate diet for someone with gallstones. It would have been helpful if you'd been put on a fat-free diet in hospital, for starters.

[DeWe]

I was once told a story by someone who was present at a consultant's appointment. They were there as a very young student.
The (exceedingly large) consultant, gazed at his patient and said "The main problem with your knee Mrs. X is that you need to lose some weight. Your knee can't cope with your weight."
The patient bristled vigorously and said "well, you're a fine one to talk."
"Madam," he replied. "I'm not the one with a knee injury."

[frumpet]

Mmm , the fact that he said he didnt mean to insult you probably means he has previous for this and has had to have a little chat with others further up the food chain before now . The gaggle of students though are more likely to be other Drs , like a registrar , SHO , HO . Was there a nurse there while he was pinching morethan an inch?

[Mechavivzilla]

I am overweight, and had my gallbladder out last month. At every meeting with my consultant on ward rounds in the hospital and in private meetings in his office he made it clear that losing weight would be good for me. At no point did I feel insulted or humiliated, as he did this is a polite and humane way! He gave me leaflets and tips for low fat diets, they did help and I have been steadily losing weight. There is no need for "harsh truths" or "tough love" or any of that crap. You are an adult and should be treated as such. And you do not even have that much to lose! I am sorry your surgeon was so rude to you.

Since the operation I have felt better than I have in months. I hope you get your op quickly and get well soon.

[Otheregos]

He was rude but surgeons especially are not known for their bed side manner, a lot of the time they are trying to feed their already enormous egos, they are child like and often behave like they are in a playground! Having said that, they are extremely intelligent and skilled in their profession, so their rudeness is always over looked...even if you complain a manager having word in a surgeons ear...they would be laughed at and not taken seriously at all

[KillerRack]

I think what makes it worse is that he did it in front of students/whatever.

probably trying to 'look good' I would complain.

[complexnumber]

I went for a medical to get an overseas job.

At the end the doctor said "Now we know who ate all the pies!"

I actually found it quite funny, unfortunately I still seem to be keeping up my pie in-take