to ask if you ignore your baby?

[EmeraldToffee]

N/C and donning hard hat for this one. Not sure if I am massively U or normal.

DS is 7 months, cute and lovely and all that, but the days can be long and boring. We fill some of the time with walks, meets, baby classes and the like, but there are still hours of time. He doesn't sleep much in the day either. So some of those hours I just pop him on the playmat, stick him in the bouncer with his teether, and get on with other stuff: emails, washing up, call a friend, all while keeping a close eye, obv. He seems generally happy I think, but possibly a bit bored/frustrated maybe? Gets a bit shouty and grrr-y (for want of a better word) at times. Chucks poor old Sophie Giraffe across the room, for attention from his neglectful ma, possibly.

I have this image of other mums on their hands and knees around by the playmat playing hours of fecking peekaboo stimulating games, or engaging them in...I don't know, songs and stuff. We do that, sure (and I've got a damn fine repertoire of nursery rhymes) but not ALL DAY.

So, what do you think. Has DS been a bit short changed with a mother like me? Is it terrible?

Perfectly normal imho!
You cant play with them every second of the day - you'd over stimulate them !

Our poor old sophie is an abused soul too, much adored but abused all the same

YANBU. I hope .

Surely nobody plays stimulating games with their baby all day?

As long as he gets some attention and has something to play with when you're not giving him attention I'd have thought that was stimulation enough.

YANBU. 4 month old DS is currently in his bouncer chair watching Baby TV.
I often feel like I'm neglecting him too but he seems pretty contented and like yours will soon let me know when he wants my attention!

Perfectly normal. I remember my DM saying to me, when DD1 was a baby, 'it's ok to ignore her for 10 minutes here and there you know' I can't tell you what a relief it was to hear that!

Lol, can't believe you name changed for that!

You are totally normal, your baby is fine and happy

The house still needs cleaning, cooking needs to be done, ironing, washing, all that jazz and actually, its okay to just sit on your arse and have a coffee.

24/7 of stimulus, is over stimulus!! I look at some babies and think they're probably wishing mummy would naff off for five minutes to let them discover life for themselves! (Not all the time)

YANBU.

If your baby wants you they will generally let you know :) .... some alone time happily playing is good for them.

As a single parent I'd have gone insane if I hadn't popped dc's in a bouncer and got on with other stuff.

Unless you can afford staff to do the cleaning, washing etc you can't devote every minute of every day to your baby. I don't think it's good for them, anyway. They need to learn to entertain themselves here and there!

With a toddler beasting around the place, I often have no choice to ignore the baby...

YANBU.

DS got time to kick about on his playmat by himself too. He used to love the little dangly toys that hooked onto the arches of the playgym.

As long as you're not ignoring him when he looks like he wants you to come and play with him, I reckon it's fine. DS has always been fast enough to let me know when he wants attention.

Wait, they need attention?!?!?

I think its possibly good for them to have some time each day to just do nothing. To look at their toys or watch you getting on with things. Surely over stimulation can be bad too?

I ignore all of my children as much as possible.

He needs to learn to self entertain.

That's what I keep telling myself anyway...

Yabu... For name changing for something we all do!

I'm totally going against the grain here but if you're feeling like you need to justify this then maybe there's something there you need to look at. Of course YANBU if it's 15 mins here or there but certainly not hours at a time on a playmat - you do say 'hours' in you OP. Half an hour here and there through the day, yes. Hours no. Or that could just be me.

YANBU if your baby seems contented enough to entertain himself for a while, it's what the baby gym was invented for after all. All babies get a bit ragy through frustration of not being able to do things/get to things they want at timesand throwing toys is par for the course, my DD did this even when I was actively playing with her.

Atruth beat me to it.

A little benign neglect is a wonderful thing.

My generation were left at the bottom of the garden in our prams to cry to 'exercise our lungs'. Perhaps not the way I'd go now but you know, I don't feel let down by my mother. She's lovely. Barking. But lovely.

You have no idea how good I feel after reading this! I am constantly worried about whether I play/do enough with my son. If he's not complaining we tend to just do our own thing. Now I know it's a common fear I think I'm just gonna put my feet up with a cuppa and let the ferrets look after him.

This is why God invented jobs.

I started a thread like this when DS was about the same age but I put it in Parenting because I was worried AIBU would get me a flaming! YANBU, you're perfectly normal.

Oh lordy, wait until you have a 2nd and between wrangling the first and trying to have a poo in peace, you'll suddenly realise the baby is 12 months old and playing peekaboo with the cat because he's given up on you ever joining in.

And my hv says babies can become overstimulated very easily. So it's a kindness really.

She also says babies who don't nap are intelligent.

It all gets you through doesn't it?

Kind of normal if you ask me.

And when they get older, you can ask their friends over, and ignore them for longer. My DD's and their friends come up with some amazing (noisy and usually messy) games when left to their own devices. I only intervene if they start yelling at each other (or if the animals look in danger of being loved/doctored/painted too much)