to ask if you ignore your baby?

[EmeraldToffee]

N/C and donning hard hat for this one. Not sure if I am massively U or normal.

DS is 7 months, cute and lovely and all that, but the days can be long and boring. We fill some of the time with walks, meets, baby classes and the like, but there are still hours of time. He doesn't sleep much in the day either. So some of those hours I just pop him on the playmat, stick him in the bouncer with his teether, and get on with other stuff: emails, washing up, call a friend, all while keeping a close eye, obv. He seems generally happy I think, but possibly a bit bored/frustrated maybe? Gets a bit shouty and grrr-y (for want of a better word) at times. Chucks poor old Sophie Giraffe across the room, for attention from his neglectful ma, possibly.

I have this image of other mums on their hands and knees around by the playmat playing hours of fecking peekaboo stimulating games, or engaging them in...I don't know, songs and stuff. We do that, sure (and I've got a damn fine repertoire of nursery rhymes) but not ALL DAY.

So, what do you think. Has DS been a bit short changed with a mother like me? Is it terrible?

I like to think I am encouraging independent play.

Wohoo!!

Is this a unanimous aibu?

Wow

Pets

My DMIL's friend has a saying for this - 'benign nelect'

A strategy that worked well on my two DDs!

Nah its fines just find a balance between playing and getting your stuff done is hard.

I think it's good for them to learn how to entertain themselves.

Yes, benign neglect is my default parenting setting too.

Another YANBU

Ah ShowOfHands you were very kind to me on my similar thread (ages ago and have since n/c) and I never forgot it

Nah, you must mean somebody else. I'm a witch really.

I do very much like your new name.

Be thankful he allows you to actually put him down and enjoy it!!

Once you get to baby number 3 you stop worrying

I had an excellent book called "Babytalk" which recommended you play with them, as in following their focus of attention, peek-a-boo, and such-like for an hour a day. The rest of the time you just got on with stuff and took them with you, they watched, or did their own thing much more ( though I'm sure dropping in the odd comment during all that time is important too ) I figured I could maybe break that down into 6 10 minute focused play-times as I'd never last a whole hour
I found those ideas helpful when like you I had a PFB who I thought I should be playing with all day long ( better than house-work though )
My DS just had to fit round whatever his big sister was up to !

Very normal. I did this alot with my DD (now 4) and she's very good at playing on her own and finding her own entertainment. So long as you spend a good amount of time engaging and interacting then it's fine.

I have found it much easier with dd2 - just plonk her next to dd1 to be entertained. Job done.

Also- get an ergo ( or other sling) , bung baby on your back and go about your business. Take baby off every couple of hours to feed, change nappy, cuddle or roll about, but otherwise strap o your baby backpack and do whatever work you need to do. Possibly bar tree surgery, pole dancing or chimney sweeping and the like.

ShowOfHands peek-a-boo with a cat
DS must be a genius then napping twice a day 20 mins at most

OP thank you for this thread and everybody who contributed-I'm not a vile mother after all

Normal!!
DD s 7 moths too and i could spend hours watching her entertain herself on the rug. Only thing is at this age the little buggers darlings can move more than they let on. I caught her happily bum shuffling across the floor dragging her toys behind her this morning.

YANBU

make the most if it as once they are mobile you barely get a second to your self!!!

Normal! I felt worried like you and now feel ridiculous for wasting my maternity leave fretting over a perfectly content baby who has just settled wonderfully in to pre-school without any of the social and emotional problems I feared she may be developing by my ignorance which was infanct normal mothering!
Stop now!

My first grandson is eight now. When he was four months old, he liked to be stood up by ottoman and look at pictures in a magazine. He also liked watching the movement of leaves on trees outside. We got him Baby Einstein DVDs which he liked to watch. I think all babies like watching what is going on in the house. Another grandson used to keep tabs on who was doing what. At around five months, he could be sat in living room and watch his parents working in kitchen, or someone walking thru room. He really watched what everyone was doing. I talked to my babies as I did things around he house.

you can't play with the baby all day it isn't possible and it is overstimulating , would you like somebody in your face all as long as you chat to the baby and they are happy he seems happy and when he is grrrr-y then take him out and play with him for a little while, poor sophie giraffe though

No, I think it's fine to get on with your own tasks, especially once the baby is older and able to explore the world themselves and also is sleeping less during the day. With an older baby, you'd go insane if you tried to play with them and sing songs etc all day.

At 11 months, my DS just wants to explore everything on his own (preferably electrical cables, sockets, sharp objects, small objects he can choke on, the toilets and parts of the room where there are particularly sharp-cornered bits of furniture right at head level for him). When he starts to get tired, he might start to sit down and pay attention to me reading him a story or singing a song but only in extremis when the more exciting things have all been torn asunder and explored.

Your DS is only 7 months so it's not long before he'll be the same - unless he takes after some of the freakish babies shown in parenting manuals who love nothing more than a story from mummy and a cuddle and a nursery rhyme...

Well my inlaws would definitely say YABU. Having just spent 11 days with them for holiday, they literally did not stop with the gaga googoo talk and constant cuddling of our 10 mo twins. They have totally RUINED all my good work over the past 10 months and for the last few days my previously happy-to-be-ignored babies scream the place down every time I leave the room...ggrrrr

One word..... Jumperoo

I sometimes wonder this too! Interestingly I don't worry about doing jobs but do feel guilty about reading my book etc. feel all relieved now!