To have DD on reins rather than in a car or pram?

[MrsTerrysChocolateOrange]

I have had two 'dog' comments recently from people seeing DD using reins. One was very good-natured. The other, not so much. So, I've been looking around. I think the reason that no one needs reins is not that their DCs are well behaved, listen to them and are all round angelic. I think it's because you rarely if ever see toddlers walking anywhere. They always seem to be in prams or in cars.

DD loves to run around but is a bolter. She doesn't listen about roads and was an early walker so didn't really understand about cars when she started. She is getting better but is still prone to bolting if she sees a dog/squirrel/shiny thing. She also hates to have her hand held all the time, which is one of the other suggestions. I want to know, are all the DCs amazing, well-behaved, road avoiding wonders or are they just all strapped into prams all day?

YANBU... as many have said, better safe than sorry. I love (and regularly use) DD's little lite back pack and yes it's a bit like a dog lead but what the heck. She never listens to me and it would be horrid walking anywhere without it. As others say though, I do also make her hold hands as well when crossing roads to try and get her accepting of that.

Just ignore everyone's negative comments - how dare they!

My mum says I used to refuse to hold hands.
the reins meant that she felt I was safe even when I wasn't holding her hand.

She did say that she doesn't like the wriststraps for littlies, though - reins are very useful for pulling back a child who is about to run into the road or for picking up a child who has fallen (as a quick instinct reaction), and the wriststraps could mean that the yanking of the child could dislocate the shoulder.

I used reins for mine also.

Don´t recall any comments about them tbh.

Wouldn´t have cared either.

My children don´t even remember them-they´re hardly scarred by it!

I think reins are great, though never successful with my two. I just used to say "Hold hands or go in the pushchair". They were both good at holding hands from the age of two though as they were so desperate to come out of the pushchair and walk.

So, there have been a few anti-rein comments on here but I still don't get the reason. Don't like them, well why? Not the culture, great but why? I need answers, people.

My Mum loves them. They are older and just couldn't catch DD if she took off.

I take on board that I may have sounded a little judgy about prams

OP YANBU, I used reins with mine so they could get some walking exercise safely. Near where I lived a toddler escaped from his Mum in a DIY shop, ran out the door and was killed by a lorry. I could never have taken that chance.

DD1 lived on reins because she vanished in a puff of smoke if she wasn't.
Utterly no concept that it might be a good idea to keep Mummy in sight. Also likely to climb anything and everything, however unsuitable. There are only so many times you want to extract her from up amongst the mannequins in M&S or off the long suffering librarians steps.

If you were lucky she thought the escalator looked like fun, if you were unlucky climbing up the outside of the bannisters appealed more.

Fortunately she did understand cars were bad news and stopped at the edge of roads reliably from about 2.5.

This meant that I was forever having to remind DH that although DD2 didn't run off anything like as often and didn't lose sight of her carer, you had to grab her because she had no sense at all near roads.

Even at 11 she forgets.

Yeh I want an explanation from the rein haters too - culturally unacceptable? W the actual fuck?

YANBU.

It's a safety thing - they're better off on reins than they are under a bus. DS will be getting reins as soon as he's big enough to walk around outside. And I agree with the comments about reins looking more comfortable and safer than the wrist straps / hand holding.

Reins (of any variety) are not very popular where I live, and I frequently see parents chasing after, or screaming at toddlers who are running towards roads or messing about near dangerous things. Given the amount of this I see, I really can't understand why reins aren't popular.

"I never saw what you call "reins" used until I moved to the UK. I guess culturally they're acceptable here? They're so not acceptable where I'm from. Dog leash is more like it."

That is a ridiculous comment. It is naive and stupid. Perhaps there isn't much traffic where you come from, all parents are short enough to hold hands with their toddlers comfortably, children are never allowed to walk until they are old enough to understand road safety or they are all incredibly well behaved.

It is comments like yours that really, really annoy parents who are concerned enough about the safety of their children to want to allow them the freedom to walk, but in a safe manner.

I don't know about reins in other countries except that DD1 was the only child I saw with them in the states. No one commented and we went all over the Washington tube very happily.

YANBU. It would depend on the child but if they need reins, they need reins. I'd much rather see more kids walking and on reins than the lot I see in pushchairs! (obviously I know that they also have a time and place! But it does seem that many children live in theirs!)

We use backpack reins. Dd loves her bag and readily puts them on. Great for walking near roads or busy places like supermarkets. She is 21 months. I get lots of slightly odd looks but don't care. O remember sales of reins going through the roof post the Jamie Bulger case. And it hurts my back to stoop to hold her hand all the time.

I've said this a few times on her and I'll keep saying it till people listen...

My eldest son died when his dad didnt put his reins on him and he wandered in front of a car.

It only takes seconds for something to happen

Please please use reins, even those of you who say, "my child doesnt need them", yes they do, it only takes seconds, literally seconds and your life changes forever.

Please, please use them always!

My son is on reins all the time, he is autistic and it is a necessity. I haven't had any negative comments thus far, a few positive ones from people who see us regularly who comment on how far his walking has come on (his balance is poor and he falls a lot).

If someone did choose to comment or suggest I was treating him like a dog I would agree with them. I don't have a dog but I assume if I did I would love it and not want it to be hit by a car, to get lost or otherwise injure itself. Since a dog has no understanding of why they should stay close to you and not run in to the road they need to be on a lead for their safety.

I love my son, I don't want him to be hit by a car, get lost or otherwise injure himself. He has no understanding of why he should stay close or not run in to a road he is on reins for his safety.

So yes I treat him like a dog and I have no problem with that. Unlike a dog I hope one day we will be in a position for him not to sure the reins but it is going to be a few years yet. I am sure I am going to get more comments as he gets older but he is only 2.5 now.

So sorry MrsPresley.

MrsPresley - how dreadful and tragic - I am so v v sorry but thank you for sharing your story

Sorry MrsPresley I didn't see you message before I posted mine, I am so sorry for your loss.

Most people who saw us use the backpack version thought it great - plus the two DC we have that needed restraint longer tolerate the backpack longer as they could carry their stuff in it.

I've had negative comments about having the young DC hold the pushchair or hands ffs instead of letting them run off and assuming they'll stop at some point. Some people are very odd or unthinking.

Had one person be a real arse about it - used to hate it when they waited for us to walk home as it was so stressful - their eldest would run over roads not looking. They drove everywhere, had very little control IMO over their DC and couldn't understand that walking and going on public transport meant the DC had to stay close not run off over roads or round car parks or just disappear out of sight.

I'm sorry MrsPresley for your loss.

MrsPresley I didn't think before I posted the OP. I'm so sorry for you loss. Thank you for sharing.

I am another one who was oblivious to the dislike of reins on toddlers until I joined Mumsnet. I never heard a negative comment when using them and if I had I would no doubt have inwardly laughed at the wankers who made them.

MrsPresley - it is very good of you to keep posting on this subject, must be so difficult for you x

DS loves his little life back pack, he has been using it since he was about a year and he knows when he sees it that it means he gets to walk not be put in the pushchair. (Which is for babies, obviously!)

I have only ever had positive comments about him being on reins.

Re the dog thing - I was quite angry the other day as a big dog ran up to us round a corner and licked my son's face. I had a few seconds to decide whether to yank ds out the way, which I thought might aggravate the dog more, or hope it was friendly. It was, and a few minutes later the woman owner came round the corner on her phone, ignored us and carried on walking after the dog, who had gone out of her sight again. I know the area and expect there to be some dogs off leads, but expect them to be reasonably supervised. In my head I was ranting about how I had my son on a lead to be safe, why couldn't she do the same for her dog!