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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To have DD on reins rather than in a car or pram?

137 replies

MrsTerrysChocolateOrange · 24/09/2012 22:44

I have had two 'dog' comments recently from people seeing DD using reins. One was very good-natured. The other, not so much. So, I've been looking around. I think the reason that no one needs reins is not that their DCs are well behaved, listen to them and are all round angelic. I think it's because you rarely if ever see toddlers walking anywhere. They always seem to be in prams or in cars.

DD loves to run around but is a bolter. She doesn't listen about roads and was an early walker so didn't really understand about cars when she started. She is getting better but is still prone to bolting if she sees a dog/squirrel/shiny thing. She also hates to have her hand held all the time, which is one of the other suggestions. I want to know, are all the DCs amazing, well-behaved, road avoiding wonders or are they just all strapped into prams all day?

OP posts:

Meglet · 24/09/2012 23:04

yanbu. I love reins. DD is 4 and still has them for big days out.

And I have been known to say 'walkies' when using them . I couldn't care less!

aliportico · 24/09/2012 23:09

I always thought that reins were a lot more comfortable for the toddler than holding hands. Used them with dd1 when she was under 2, and I'm tall, and having her arm right up in the air didn't seem very comfortable for her! And especially if she tripped over - better to be held up by reins than dangling by one arm :)

Original poster

MrsTerrysChocolateOrange · 24/09/2012 23:10

Meglet you are bad. DH says 'mush' every now and again.

I hope she will have learnt about roads at some point before school but who knows. She just has no fear of anything. Except face-paints and stickers, they are evil.

OP posts:

TidyGOLDDancer · 24/09/2012 23:14

I didn't put DS on reins and make him wear antlers one Christmas. I also didn't facepaint a big red nose on him and make him gallop.

Oh no I did not.

Original poster

MrsTerrysChocolateOrange · 24/09/2012 23:15

See, I could do that for Halloween if she didn't think face paint is the work of the devil.

Have I got a unanimous thread? I will tell the next 'dog' comment person that they are wrong and MN agrees with me.

OP posts:

amillionyears · 24/09/2012 23:16

I think they are coming back in fashion again.
Hurrah,keeps children safer.
Saw 2 parents using them last week,havent seen more than say 2 parents use them a year for several years.

BreconBeBuggered · 24/09/2012 23:23

I've only ever heard disapproval even hinted at on MN. DS2 needed to wear them and I kept getting compliments at my good sense. Which doesn't happen often.

fluffacloud · 24/09/2012 23:23

Tidy

DD1 has a lovely set of reins that looks just like a teddy back-pack. She loves it.

I haven't experienced any negative attention and we use them all the time. The traditional reins can look a little dog/owner but your DC's safety is far more important that some wankbadgers idiots comments.

fluffacloud · 24/09/2012 23:25

*than

goldenlula · 24/09/2012 23:26

I have used them for all 3 of mine ( well just starting to use them with the third). Ds1 was known to shout 'go dasher' or any other reindeer he cared to use while holding ds2's reins.
I had dd on reins the other day on the walk from the car to the school (16 months old) and kept hold of them I the playground while waitng as I want to 'train' her to stand with me when waiting for her brothers to come out. Another parent commented several times on how she let her child roam free, which is fine, I am choosing not to, as I have already had to deal with a bolting ds2 for 2 years at the school gates, I do not want another few years of chasing dd!

TidyGOLDDancer · 24/09/2012 23:26

I've just realised that with this and a Chat thread, I have tonight on MN confessed that I make my DS dress up as a reindeer and my DD used a cock ring as a teething toy....I'm going to be in the Daily Fail, aren't I?

jellybeans · 24/09/2012 23:26

I used reins till about 3 year 8 months as DS was a bolter. Now he has to hold my hand unless at park etc. I used a backpack type from 2.5 and got a few looks but better than him being hurt. I would still use it if going by the sea or anything riskier etc. Unless you have had a bolter you don't get it.

QuangleWangleQuee · 24/09/2012 23:26

YANBU. Why are people so judgy and silly. Far better for your child to be toddling along with reins than strapped into a car seat or pram. Could you say something like "It's better than strapping them in a pram so they get no exercise isn't it."

YouMayLogOut · 24/09/2012 23:28

YANBU

Original poster

MrsTerrysChocolateOrange · 24/09/2012 23:30

With the most recent man, he was very nice and his opening comment was, "I don't mean to compare your child to a dog..." and went on to say that he thought it was cute. The one who was less nice was PA about it, "some people prefer... than reins and think it is like a dog". Not her, you understand, some people. I will try the comment about exercise.

Tidy you are the front page.

OP posts:

Softlysoftly · 24/09/2012 23:47

Oh oh I forgot a benefit, the backpack version I pack with snacks, crayons and my keys and purse and shit so she's fully distracted at lunch, in ques etc and I was hands free, until having DD2 and being loaded with baby shite again.

Also older kids are entertained by "having a go" of leading my toddler around

PicklesThePottyMouthedParrot · 24/09/2012 23:55

I have a backpack one and tried it last week ds writhed around on the floor screaming like I'd put acid on him in the shops.

Hope he gets used to them or he will have to stay in the pram, he's a terrible bolter.

Don't listen to them mrs t.

wherearemyGOLDsocks · 24/09/2012 23:58

It's my dd2 tells me she wants to go to the park. She goes and gets her 'pack pack' (back pack reins) and brings it to me.

WelshMaenad · 25/09/2012 00:02

Hahahaha, I used to be so snootily anti reins! Dd didn't walk till she was 2.5 and was an obsessive hand holder for stability. I didn't need reins, no siree bob, reins were terrible.

Then I had DS. We have three Little Life backpacks. One in each car and one in the house, so we are never ever without them. Oh, how I love them. Oh, what a sanctimonious dick I was.

Original poster

MrsTerrysChocolateOrange · 25/09/2012 00:11

WelshMaenad. I have heard the people who say that they taught their child to hold hands and their child knows not to bolt and they wouldn't dream of using reins. I think until you have one, you have no clue. Someone said on one thread that, "all children want to do is walk around and show you flowers and things" or some such nonsense. I have to say I looked at DD after that. All she wants to do is climb, jump, run, scream and run some more. I love her dearly but a flower-sniffing princess, she aint.

OP posts:

PurplyWurply · 25/09/2012 00:52

We use tomee tippee reins with an extra handle at the back of the neck. Our bolter needs to be held close for crossing the road in addition to holding hands. If it's busy or near a main road, the Little Life backpack rein is too long, offering the chance to attempt to venture into traffic or twirl round with the rein around the neck! The Little Life backpack is good in museums etc.

We've had lots of positive comments, and people asking where to buy reins as they can be hard to find.

CouthyMowWearingOrange · 25/09/2012 01:10

The backpack ones aren't much cop if you have a skinny escapologist bolter though!

DS3 can get out of every pair of reigns I have bought so far. And can climb out of his pushchairs too. He has extra flexy joints too (probable EDS), and can turn his wrist in such a way that I can't hold onto him.

I have had limited success with the Tommee Tippee reigns, but the John Lewis leather with a metal buckle he can squeeze through the bottom like a t-shirt, the Mothercare ones with a plastic clip he can just pop the clip by moving his shoulders in a particular way (!), and those backpack ones don't go anywhere near tight enough to restrain him.

I still use the Tommee Tippee ones with him, because he IS a bolter, and as he is only 20mo, I don't see him having much road sense.

Now if only I could find a pushchair that he can't climb out of. None of the straps go tight enough.

AdoraBell · 25/09/2012 01:18

YANBU

I had an SIL make the comment "let go of her reins, she's not a dog to be led" when her son took hold of DD1's reins in a wildlife park. I laughed, then had to grab said reins when a monkey dropped down onto the path. SIL had to push past people and scrabble to gain control of her DS, which of course wasn't my problem.

Other people's attitude's don't need to be your problem either.

DaPrincessBride · 25/09/2012 01:44

YANBU, I am much happier when DD (2) is on her reins. She does hold hands beautifully...until she spies a puddle that needs splashing. I had a 'dog on reins' comment nastily once too. Sod 'em.

ZonkedOut · 25/09/2012 01:47

YANBU. I have used reins on occasion and also a wrist strap. I always insist on holding hands across roads even so, though, to get into the habit.

I do need to use them more with DD2 (18 months) rather than the pushchair though. DD2 is walking about less than DD1 did. But I find pushchair + 3 year old is easier than managing 2 walkers, especially if you add a bit of shopping into the mix.

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