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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have DD on reins rather than in a car or pram?

137 replies

MrsTerrysChocolateOrange · 24/09/2012 22:44

I have had two 'dog' comments recently from people seeing DD using reins. One was very good-natured. The other, not so much. So, I've been looking around. I think the reason that no one needs reins is not that their DCs are well behaved, listen to them and are all round angelic. I think it's because you rarely if ever see toddlers walking anywhere. They always seem to be in prams or in cars.

DD loves to run around but is a bolter. She doesn't listen about roads and was an early walker so didn't really understand about cars when she started. She is getting better but is still prone to bolting if she sees a dog/squirrel/shiny thing. She also hates to have her hand held all the time, which is one of the other suggestions. I want to know, are all the DCs amazing, well-behaved, road avoiding wonders or are they just all strapped into prams all day?

OP posts:
CanIOfferYouAPombear · 25/09/2012 08:18

I don't like the backpacks though, maybe I had a faulty one but DS found it incredibly easy to shrug the backpack off and run away. I found the harness ones like these were much safer. As he got older I could unclip the lead from one side so he had a longer leash and a bit more freedom.

Skivvytomany · 25/09/2012 08:22

I had never heard of people getting negative comments about reins before I joined mumsnet. Mines all used reins and loads of other people do too here. Is it more common in some areas to look down on people using reins? (Central scotland here)

Then again my children also used to have my dogs extending lead clipped to them while the dog was in the pushchair Grin so they could pretend to be dogs. I don't care what people say, my child's safety comes before other people's opinions.

Psammead · 25/09/2012 08:30

DD is as good as gold and never runs or bolts. She holds my hand and stops when I tell her to.

Until the day she didn't. Luckily it was a quiet road and the car emergency stopped a good way away from her.

I would never judge anyone for using reins.

LetsKateWin · 25/09/2012 08:41

I don't use reins at yet, but I'm not against them. DD (2.9) walks everywhere, but if she gets tired I put her in the buggy.

I probably get judged by reins users for having a toddler in a buggy 'all the time' when she's probably been walking around all day by the time they see her in the buggy. Grin

Pancakeflipper · 25/09/2012 08:49

I never knew reins were hated until I joined MN.

I have used them for both my children. Both have been bolters especially the youngest one. We do a lot of walking and I thought it was a great way for my kids to get used having freedom from the buggy and learn safety Also stop me getting more grey hairs cos I felt more secure when out with them.

BlueberryHill · 25/09/2012 08:50

Another rein user here, didn't with DS as he wasn't a bolter and we didn't have him in the pram either oh and there were usually 2 adults out too. However, I now have 2yo twins and no way on earth am I taking that risk with them. Anyone who comments, other than in a nice way, will be put in their place. Why do people think they can comment, FOTTFSOFAFOSM. Makes me angry, its to keep them safe FFS.

Mind you must people are nice and smile when I'm out walking with them, I think it is soooo plain why they are needed when you see me trying to walk them along the pavement.

Anyway rant over YANBU.

BuntyCollocks · 25/09/2012 08:56

I love our little life backpack. Dc2 will have one when she's born/old enough ;) DS loves to walk, is very good at holding hands, but I like the extra reassurance.

Mrsjay · 25/09/2012 08:59

PFFT reins are not dpg leads they do not inhibit the little darlings freedom to explore and all the other things ive heard and read, MIne had reins and wrist straps ,they kept them safe as they plodded along, OP ignore comments and keep your toddler on reins, It is much better than having your child run into a road or somebody else when out and about, My DDs are older and i see they have those funky back packs now I think they are fab,

Woodlands · 25/09/2012 09:09

I did use reins with my son but it was only a short time that I needed them for, which might explain why you don't see people using them often. I used them on and off from about 18-22 months, when he was first walking along pavements with me but not yet tall enough or understanding enough to hold hands. Now at 2.2 he will hold hands if he's told to and also walks nicely with me (most of the time) along quieter roads without holding hands. I do still have the reins under the buggy but haven't used them for ages.

fuzzpig · 25/09/2012 09:10

YANBU. I can't say I've ever had any nasty comments though.

Both my DCs got loads of use out of our reins. They were an absolute godsend last year as DD was at school and DH had to take DS (2) on the school run while I was at work. DH had a prolapsed disc and was on crutches, there's no way he could've pushed a buggy! And no way he could have run after DS if he bolted (which he does occasionally).

DH weaned him off the reins towards the summer and he now walks to nursery very nicely holding my hand, although I'm going to take the reins with me for the way home as he's tired and more prone to running off in a strop (so a "if you can't behave you will go on the reins" sort of thing). I still use them in a busy place too.

Much prefer seeing toddlers walking :) ignore any dog comments, they're being ridiculous.

Mrsjay · 25/09/2012 09:12

Meant to say I never got negative comments using reins I preferred the wrist strap DD1 was early out her buggey and a bolter so I needed it for my sanity Grin but a lot of parents used them , I have only seen comments on forums I think it is the inner thoughts of the judgey Wink

YouForgotToCallMePeppa · 25/09/2012 09:18

I had a little life back pack for DD1 - she didn't need it really, as she was by no means a bolter, but I had it as an extra safety measure - I used to loop the handle round my wrist and then hold her hand. It made me feel more confident beside roads/water/in busy shopping centres.

I hate taking an empty buggy out with me, my children have to either sit in the buggy the whole time, or walk the whole time. Once they can walk, I prefer that, even though it's slower, so it's good to have the extra bit of security reins give.

I use a harness (but not the reins bit) on DD2 to secure her into her pushchair (she wriggles out of the shoulder straps), in highchairs in restaurants and trolleys etc in supermarket. Otherwise she attempts to climb out.

They are a useful safety device. But they are extremely frowned upon here (Germany), I'm sure I'll get dog comments when DD2 starts walking. It won't stop me using them though!

DeWe · 25/09/2012 09:35

Dd1 loved her reins. She liked the feeling of freedom without having it. She would ask for them on, and got quite sad when I suggested she was too old for them.

Dd2 just used to lift up her legs and dangle Grin preferably after doing a twirl, so she span round.

forevergreek · 25/09/2012 10:04

Yup the backpacks are great. I also stick a spare nappy in/ wipes/ raisens and we are good to go. Have two little ones though so youngest at least needs to so can hold both with one hand if I need free had in shop/ on bus etc

hoodoo12345 · 25/09/2012 10:11

I used reins on DD all the time, she was a stumbler as a toddler and they saved her from many scraped knees, they also came in handy for shopping trolley seats and cafes, restaurants etc.

I love to see little children wearing them.

BumsyClugger · 25/09/2012 10:28

I use them for DD (16 months) as she hates being in the pushchair too much. Although she has learnt that if she lifts both her feet off the floor she will just dangle and won't fall. So she ends up being carried like a handbag

I'd take the handbag-baby over her being run over any day.

Although she is the only child I've seen round our way with reins. I feel sorry for all the kids that get shoved in their pushchair for hours on end.

puffylovett · 25/09/2012 14:08

Ds2 insists on wearing out dog harness and retractable lead. He often crawls along woofing too Hmm Grin

MidnightinMoscow · 25/09/2012 14:18

YANBU.

DS is a bolter. Parents of children that are not bolters do not understand just how stressful it is when you have one.

Bollocks to what people say.

HazleNutt · 25/09/2012 14:30

YANBU. And what's wrong with comparing the DC to dogs - they say that a dog's intelligence is on par with a 2-3year old toddler, so it's quite appropriate to use similar trianing methods and devices Grin. And while I mostly walk my dogs off leash, I do put the leash on around busy roads, for their own safety. Only reasonable.

PeshwariNaan · 25/09/2012 14:31

I never saw what you call "reins" used until I moved to the UK. I guess culturally they're acceptable here? They're so not acceptable where I'm from. Dog leash is more like it.

elfycat · 25/09/2012 14:32

We used them for DD1 when she was 20 months or so as she's so independent (no idea where that comes from. I'm so compliant Grin) and didn't want to hold hands or onto the buggy. We have used them for DD2, she's not a bolter and is happy to hold hands but she is a wanderer if she does get free.

You've reminded me that we have a little life. I'll have to but DD1 a backpack to stop the fight over it. Perhaps it's nearly time to retire the change bag.

My DNephew was a underdisciplined, spoiled bolter who no-one wanted to take out for fear of his safety. Eventually my sister started using a wrist strap. He was 5 and going to school. It didn't last very long and he learned to hold her hand when crossing a road!

p.s. my daughter kept bringing me her ball back in her mouth so I started throwing it while shouting 'fetch' (aged 2.5) and at 3 I could only get her to go to bed on time if she could go up the stairs on all 4s miaowing. No idea what that was about but it didn't last long.

TunipTheVegemal · 25/09/2012 14:33

I saw a toddler literally on a dog's lead once. It was on a walk along a cliff top and the dog was on the loose. I suppose they'd gone on the walk not realising how exposed it was and when they got to the dangerous bit decided the toddler was more important so they tied the lead round its middle and reckoned the dog could take its chances Grin

MrsTittleMouse · 25/09/2012 14:37

toddler that bolts into the road + pregnant Mum with SPD = reins or A+E

BlablaSos · 25/09/2012 14:37

I see them all the time where I live, more in the form of the little ruck sacks but they do the same job. I'm just about to buy some for mine.

thatgirlsevil · 25/09/2012 14:42

Ignore the wankers.
YADNBU