...or is the nanny out of order?

[twilight3]

quick background, needed after school and school holidays nanny, interviewed a few people, someone got the job, two weeks in I'm afraid I've made the wrong decision.

She will simply NOT discipline the children in any way and then complain to me about their behaviour, as if there's anything I can do by proxy. I have discussed it with her, she doesn't want the children to "dislike" her if she sets rules. I knew that she only had experience with young babies, but she's a qualified school teacher, I assumed she knew something!!!

My daughter has selective mutism, she asked me in front of her "what is WRONG with her", I discussed it later in private, she said blandly that she thinks the girl is playing us (DD btw is a girl that came to us after both her parents were killed).

Called me at work to ask me what to do about my son as he was having a tantrum!!!

Wants me to sign that she won't be responsible if the children break anything at home (which I never thought she would be, but it seems a bit weird -like there will be lack of supervision).

Wants to go home fro Christmas, when this is the busiest time of the year for both myself and my husband, and she knew that from the off. Now she's whining at me about not being with her family on Xmas day (boo-effing-hoo) and when I tried to work out something so she can go home for 4 days she said it's not worth the trip (3 hours drive) and she wants to go for at least 10 days to be worth her while!!!! This is not a baby, it's a 25 yo woman.

She'd be out of the door if my son didn't love her so much.

When she's with the children playing, she's like a child herself adn they have an amazing time, so I don't know what to do...

Am I the boss from hell, or is she a nightmare of a nanny?

Also how did SS feel about you and DH both working 365 days and taking care of such psychologically vulnerable children ?
This situation would inevitably lead to a nanny or similar and they would have very limitted control over who would ultimately be caring for them.

SS must have known this. What was their plan ?

No - they're not both working 365 days a year! Their jobs require cover 365 days a year. Like a doctor. Or nurse. Or midwife. Or my profession (journalist) come to that. Are you saying none of these people should be able to adopt?

Speaking as a mother of a child with sm, I'm pleased to hear the nanny has gone. As you're aware, your dd needs a lot of understanding and well placed support to help her through her difficulties.
I wish you good luck with finding someone who will fit into your family and be a support to you all.

I'm pleased to hear she's gone- good luck with your search and I hope you fine a better nanny who is more suitable.

I think you sound like a great parent and I hope your family finds the happiness in this adoption that you clearly deserve.

"Now she's whining at me about not being with her family on Xmas day (boo-effing-hoo)"

I completely agree with the OP on this one, I work in Italy as a nanny, I see my boyfriend of 7 years once every 3 or 4 months and I have to spend Christmas and new year with the family. And yes, it's shit that I can't see my partner and family at Christmas, but I knew this would be the case when I went for the interview, and, when I accepted the job offer.

Also OP has kindly said she could go home for 4 days to her family, which is only 3 hours away, I would spend half a day in an airport, on a plane and then in a car to get back to my boyfriend for a couple of days over christmas. We often drive 3 hours to see my dad from friday - sunday when we get the chance and it's really not hard work. I think the nanny is being unreasonable for saying it's not worth the trip unless she's going for 10 days!! I'm lucky if I have 10 days in a row with my partner in one year let alone over christmas, I may not like it but I am certainly not rude enough to moan to my boss about it and try and make her feel bad.

As to the question about you DD whilst she was in the room, it was very unsensitive and surely if she is a trainned professional she would know not to do this. And after only 2 weeks I find it appauling that she can accuse your DD of playing you both after she has been through so much already in her life.

I personally think you're better off without her, you will find someone much nicer who your son will fall in love with.

Oh gosh just seen that she's gone! Sorry to rant after the problems solved! X

I hope the next is the perfect one for the job

I presume when you employed this nanny you set a certain amount of weeks that would be an initial 'trial' as such (in most jobs this is between 1-3 months) therefore at the end of this period you can sit down and review the position and if you still feel she is not suitable
For you then you are in your right to let her go.

The fact you say your nanny called you at work makes me wonder just how bad your child's behaviour is. Perhaps you need to sit down with your nanny and discuss disciplin and work with her on this. There is nothing worse than working for a family who are not willing to co operate with the nanny on disciplin! Also your nanny should have been informed before that your child has selective mutism. If she didn't know this what else did she not know about you children? Perhaps she does not know what to do as your children are different to how you described them?

As for Christmas well unless this was in writing in her contract that she would work it she should be allowed it off....also your children should be with you on Christmas not their nanny!

Nanny why have you resurrected this 3 year old thread and have you even read the bloody thing?

This thread is three years old!

Just wasted my time reading a zombie thread !

NannyA18

How far back did you bloody search?! Do you not read the dates of the threads?!