Too feel devastated for the wife of the teacher who has run off to France with his 15 year old pupil?

[chipsandmushypeas]

What on earth went through his head when he decided to do this?! The poor woman has taken all her social networks down out of humiliation I presume. link

Crazy.

By the way, it would still be wrong if she was 18, not 15.

Because he is her teacher, and therefore in a position of responsibility.

The law is there for a reason - to stop people in authority taking advantage of those who are vulnerable. The same applies to doctor/patient relationships, whether the patient is an adult or a child.

In the unlikely event he really thought this was "true love", he could have moved jobs and waited until she was at least 16. Still morally wrong, imo, but it is a path he could have followed.

There are a few posts on this thread saying that 'perhaps he really is in love' (paraphrase) unless I am seeing things!

I agree with those that have said this isn't paedophilia.

Paedophilia is sexual interest in children who have not yet undergone puberty. If this 15 yo girl hasn't, that would be very unusual in this day and age.

This situation is a whole shitload of wrong, but this man is not a paedophile for what he has done with this particular girl. I believe that hollering those sorts of terms doesn't help the situation at all (although I understand the outrage and disgust at what he has done)

I accept entirely that he is not a paedophile if one insists on applying the strict
medical definition of the word however it is fair to say that in common parlance "paedophile" has become a byword for men who have sex with children. She is a child.

Yes, and there was a paediatrician once who got his/her door battered down by a baying mob because somebody didn't get the terminology correct.

Or woman, Sara.

I have to disagree Sara, she is not a child she is an adolescent and I find it really odd that people seem to think that there is a magical day when someone goes straight from child to adult with nothing in between. Once again what he has done is wholly wrong and all sorts of fucked up but pretending that a 15 year old is a child like an 8 year old is ludicrous, in many countries she could be married and indeed in the uk people in their teens marry every year. When would you say she becomes something other than a child?

Where is the source that says that they've had sex, anyway? Have I missed something?

I agree it isn't useful to call it paedophilia. Because it allows true paedophiles to minimise their acts, trying to say that 5 year olds are "willing", for example.

She is underage, so it is sexual assault (or is it? It would be in Ireland), and he should certainly not be allowed to teach again.

I will shut up now, because I think what he has done is very, very wrong just like right-minded person would, and I don't want to contribute to derailing a thread.

any right minded person

It's an assumption, Delia. I suppose he might not have.

It's a horrifying situation for everyone that they have left behind, and wrong on many levels. However, the girl is 15. She could well be a very mature 15, I can remember at 16 looking after my 30yr+ friend after she found herself in an unfortunate situation, I can remember clearly being the adult in the situation (that was ongoing for a few months).

In fact my sister was 15 when she met her now husband and father of her 2 girls. However, they didn't fell the need to runaway

AF I don't however thing paedeatrician has yet become a byword for paedophile or perhaps only among the really thick

Delia no not for women. Whilst I agree that there are woman paedophiles I don't think you can say that the description of paedophile is commonly applied to woman who have sex with children. For whatever reason.

However I will stop referring to him as a paedophile since that seemingly upsets so many of you and content myself with "nasty sick bastard"

You can't say he isn't a pedophile.

Just as I can't say he is.

But it isn't normal for a 30 year old teacher to run off with his 15 year old pupil.

Anyone tempted to feel sympathy for the man in this situation should have a think about the actual reality of running away like this:

-they'll be dodging from pillar to post scared of discovery. No romantic journey this, she is probably very tired, lonely and frightened by now;

-pursuit and discovery is inevitable, given this is not a legal relationship. What does he think is going to happen? How does he think this is going to end? It is a bizarre, escapist fantasy that cannot really have a good outcome. He's ruining the girl's life (not to mention his wife's) on a whim. I mean, I would call this self-indulgent bullshit if 2 married 30 year olds did it, let alone a 30 year old with a fifteen year old.

I think the whole thing is designed to allow him to claim to himself that they are star-crossed lovers, so he doesn't have to face the grubby truth that he is desperate to have sex with a trusting adolescent.

Well I think the default setting is that we assume people aren't paedophiles unless we have some evidence to the contrary!

Well everyone is 'devastated' about everything these days. So I think YABU, unless you know the women in question. However, I think we can feel sympathyfor her and think SHE must be devastated. What a creep! (him, that is).

I agree with AF. She is 15, she could be sixteen in a couple of weeks, will he suddenly NOT be a paedophile then?

However I do think there should be some kind of criminal charge because he was in a position of trust, so definitely should be held accountable. He's an idiot and she is a clueless young girl, who might think she knows it all but this will change and affect the rest of her life. It is 100%, entirely his fault, but I don't think he is a paedophile.

londonone i wonder how a girl in a shirt, tie and school blazer giggling with her mates looks sexually mature yuk

I can assure you that girls in school uniform can look sexually mature but they won't of course, be emotionally mature. Which is why anyone in a position of trust, like a teacher, should be extraordinarily careful about encouraging a girl of this age to enter into any sort of relationship - no matter how allegedly innocent. Which I fear this one isn't and I should think her parents are currently at their wit's end with worry.

I think GetOrf sums things up better than I can, though.

i would not use the word paedophile in this case unless this has been going on for a long time but he has certainly groomed her or was it her driving the car to the ferry, did she plan the trip to france and buy the tickets. who is the one that has been in control through all of this it is him he has taken full advantage of a child and abused his power

Reading this thread it's shocking just how many posts have mentioned 'affairs' between teachers and pupils.

We send our children to school to be educated. While they are there we trust the teachers to take care of them and keep them safe. Yet it seems that there are some we cannot trust. I accept that these teachers will be a minority but still...

I know there is a technical definition of paedophile which specifies it as sex with a pre-pubescent person.

But whichever way you slice it there is no possible defence for his behaviour. A teacher is in a position of power and trust and he has outrageously abused those - also poisoned the atmosphere for his (now former) colleagues and pupils.

I don't think there is any doubt at all that this is the end of his teaching career - in the UK at least.

I think that's agreed and no one is trying to defend his behaviour!

Delia what difference does it make if she is a mature 15 year old i think running off to france shows that she is not actually that mature if she was she would know this is a very wrong situation and hopefully not be charmed by him and secondly if she was charmed by him she would have the maturity to know that this can not end well, that is not something i would expect even the most mature of 15 year olds to understand why should they