Aargh, middle ageor even OLD age is creeping up on me, someone shoot me!

[solidgoldbrass]

A Damart catalogue fell out of my proleporn mag and I actually browsed through it going 'Hmm'.

Elastic-waisted polyester checked slacks! CARDIGANS! Help, help! I know I'm menopausal but it will be zip-up suedette wellies next...

I browse anything, don't fret. x Looking is not the same as being. And you know, sometimes these mags have some rather useful things in... shit. Can I cry with you?

I actually listened to Michael Parkinson's advert the other day and considered enquiring as fancy a Parker pen!

Sadly I am nearly in the age criteria.

Have you ever worn Mumsy white linen trousers?

If so I'm afraid elastic-waisted polyester checked slacks are the next step.

It's all downhill from there you know

But did you actually look at any of them other than in horror and say 'Ummmm' to yourself?

do you own 'comfy shoes'?

I'm only 34 and I wear white linen trousers on holiday. Am I mumsy?

It crept up on me years ago - but I still swear skinny jeans and don't care, so there!

what on earth is a "proleporn" mag when its at home??

I'm assuming you haven't got the Damart wesbite bookmarked? Now that would be when you would really need to start worrying.

All my shoes are relatively comfy as I have a dodgy knee and can't manage high heels. But that does include my New Rocks.

MaF: a proleporn mag is something like Take A Break or Full House, the mag equivalent of Jeremy Kyle.

Have your midlife crisis! You have earned it! I am currently enjoying mine

Don't think about it too much, You will make yourself feel old!!!!!!!

Raises aim

I judge things on comfiness over style these days. Its very sad.I read the lakeland catalogue from cover to cover......

Middle age is a fucking ageist insult. I have felt strongly about labelling people according to their age since I was born ie old, aged, hag etc

SoleSource: That had better not be a bolt gun (Baaaaaa!)

ANd now I have just been up the shop with a velveteen hat on. To cover my curlers.

Right, I'm going to go and drown myself in the kitchen sink.

What colour is your hat?

My man used to have those little zip up boots.

I don't fear old age, knowing I can at last slip into a sober housecoat.

DH is on the Damart mailing list the pervert.

He claims they make the best thermal underwear for hillwalking.

Polyester? Sweaty crotch pants!

Oh, that would of course be my NAN.

Arrrrr you got me parrot