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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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to think that there is NEVER an acceptable reason to call a 32 year old woman a "young girl?"

793 replies

Hullygully · 20/09/2012 18:13

No I'm not.

I couldn't care less what emotive flannel is flung about.

IT. IS.NOT.ACCEPTABLE.

The end.

OP posts:
Hullygully · 21/09/2012 17:18

I am wearing Eeyore suspenders if it helps?

OP posts:
Blistory · 21/09/2012 17:18

Winnie the Pooh earrings ?

Now, where would I get me some of them ?

Birdsgottafly · 21/09/2012 17:20

Bored now.

Your not the only one.

Offensive to women.

No, just to you and some others, many of us are fine with that, given the circumstances and because we fully understand the reasons behind the deed.

As it is always said, you don't want to be told how to think/behave by men, not try to do it to other women.

Heading out of the thread, the discussions around how bad it would be for Merseyside and Manchester to have armed police, are much more worthwhile.

Hullygully · 21/09/2012 17:20

bye now!

OP posts:
TheBigJessie · 21/09/2012 17:24

But isn't it more that people's realities are different? Every single time I changed page on a noted MNer's thread, I remembered a local male murder victim, and how he was described. My reality contradicted hers. Doesn't mean either of us is delusional.

Hullygully · 21/09/2012 17:35

No it isn't

OP posts:
Hullygully · 21/09/2012 17:35

Those were two professional women police officers. One was 32.

They are not "young girls" in anyone's reality, except possibly one involving ecstasy.

OP posts:
cynner · 21/09/2012 17:36

Interesting. There are complaints that OP will not concede to anything oppositional posters have to say. On the "other " thread, posters were lambasted, many with great vitriol, for not caving to mob hysteria.
Shocking, when intelligent people do not bow to group pressure. Disturbing to those unable to sway with personal attacks and mob tactics.

Blistory · 21/09/2012 17:36

Of course it doesn't mean anyone's delusional but the intelligent response is to have a debate. Particularly when it's an emotive subject.

That didn't happen here on this thread or any of the others.

Feminism can't hide away on the feminist boards. It's just too important. Nor can it continue to be use as an insult against rational, intelligent, compassionate women. If you don't feel that it's relevent to your life, great but please don't stand in the way of what it does for womankind.

Seeker expressed a view and didn't mention anything about feminism and yet it was used as a stick to beat her. No sensible debate follows after that

Hully asked a question that was roundly misunderstood and what followed ended up being more bashing of feminism and feminists.

There is a crucial misunderstanding taking place on all these threads. When I post from a feminine perspective, I am referring to womankind and the injustices and imbalances they face on a day to day basis.

The anti feminist response immediately refers to their own personal experiences and uses personal anecdotes to prove their points. All that does is to show that they as an individual is ok. That's not what feminism is about and that isn't patronising. I think racism is unacceptable but still has a long way to go in terms of society's attitude. I would never dream of telling someone who had encountered it, that I hadn't therefore it doesn't exist.

That's kind of how I feel about feminism and these threads have used feminism as a insult, as something that diminishes them. The debate was no longer to be had as soon as that happens.

Add in other confusions that always happen on these threads and poster become entrenched in their positions. A little bit of thought would go a long way. If you don't understand me, ask for clarification please but don't attack me.

JamieandTheMagicTorch · 21/09/2012 17:41

Blistory

Actually, a debates did start to happen on here yesterday, and then it got shouty.

Hullygully · 21/09/2012 17:42
OP posts:
QuickLookBusy · 21/09/2012 17:43

Thank you for posting that Pag.

I agree I am probably looking at the thread the way you describe. I realise this and the other threads are very emotive for me, due to my own recent experiences. I just cannot get past the poor people trying to deal with these horrific events.

I still think my point of view is valid, and I can and do forgive anyone put into such a shocking situation then being asked to make a statement. Even if it is a CC, he's a human being. I know people Hully will come along and mock that, but it's how I feel.

Hullygully · 21/09/2012 17:44

I won't mock you.

I am not interested in mocking people's sadnesses (for the billionth time) just in tackling language because of how it impacts on women and their treatment.

OP posts:
Hullygully · 21/09/2012 17:46

I was attempted-murdered once. I was a student about to take my finals and worked in a bar at weekends to support myself. The local paper reported it as "Local barmaid..."

I was more angry about that than the attempted-murder.

OP posts:
Blistory · 21/09/2012 17:47

Jamie, I am so loving your contribution. Any more things that you'd like to point out I'm wrong about ?

And QLB, Hully only attacked when the madness had already set in. It's a deflecting tactic. You were quite happy to mock me yesterday what the hell.

Pagwatch · 21/09/2012 17:51

QLB

I am sorry, sincerely sorry, that you feel the situation so keenly. It must be difficult.

thebody · 21/09/2012 17:52

Hully, nig nog is always meant to be offensive along with fat bitch for example.

Young girl is not, by any stretch ,a similar phrase.

Hullygully · 21/09/2012 17:53

yes i know, i was using an extreme in a desperate bid at clear illustration.

OP posts:
thebody · 21/09/2012 17:53

Why is bar maid offensive?? I was a bar maid as a student and never thought it was an offensive term.. Quite liked it actually.

Hullygully · 21/09/2012 17:54

And yes, I'm sorry too, QLB, that you suffer so.

OP posts:
thebody · 21/09/2012 17:55

Yes I see hully but don't you agree context is all?

QuickLookBusy · 21/09/2012 17:55

Thank you Pag.

Blistory I don't remember mocking you yesterday. If I did I apologise.

Hully I wasn't suggesting you would mock sadness at all. I was suggesting you might mock the fact I can understand and forgive the CC for using that phrase, in the circumstances he was in.

Hullygully · 21/09/2012 17:56

no I don't thebody

OP posts:
Blistory · 21/09/2012 17:59

Thanks QLB.

Good god, has PARD finally broken out ?

atacareercrossroads · 21/09/2012 18:00

Context is important. Only complete idiots with tunnel vision and a total lack if empathy think otherwise imo.