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AIBU?

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Original poster

to think that there is NEVER an acceptable reason to call a 32 year old woman a "young girl?"

793 replies

Hullygully · 20/09/2012 18:13

No I'm not.

I couldn't care less what emotive flannel is flung about.

IT. IS.NOT.ACCEPTABLE.

The end.

OP posts:
nailak · 21/09/2012 16:39

"You don't want to be like that. I don't want to be like that. And the young lads now don't want to be like that. They want to live a normal life. They want to be with their families. Me, I'm glad I haven?t got any kids. It took me 40 years to even think about getting married and at nearly 49 I'm getting divorced because I can't cope. My advice to any of the lads coming back now is: It's an injury. It's like being shot in the leg. Get it treated." young lads in reference to currently serving army personnel www.army.mod.uk/news/24198.aspx

"A lot of our young lads came in and did well. I hope it's something we can do again in the future." www.mod.uk/DefenceInternet/DefenceNews/TrainingAndAdventure/BritishArmyPlaysFootballMatchAgainstGermanMilitary.htm

young lads in reference to currently serving army personnel

"James Gaughan, Chairman of the Paisley Comrades Branch said, ?We were in France a couple of years ago looking at the graves and war memorials. All these young boys were left over there to be buried and we wanted to do something to mark their sacrifice." here

Original poster
Hullygully · 21/09/2012 16:40

and well done on standing up for yourself today to the patronising person.

OP posts:
Original poster
Hullygully · 21/09/2012 16:41

nailak - young LADS

And the ones in France WERE boys, mostly they were under 18.

OP posts:
Crinkle77 · 21/09/2012 16:41

I would be falttered if someone thought I was younger than I was

Original poster
Hullygully · 21/09/2012 16:42

Because youth is the Holy Grail in our society.

OP posts:
QuickLookBusy · 21/09/2012 16:43

And maybe you're too arrogant to understand the local situation.

People in the area are scared stiff of the gangs. They don't want to protect them but feel they have no choice, for fear of retribution.

The police may have felt, by personalising the women who were murdered, that the locals might be more inclined to help the police.
As the phrase "young girls is used commonly in the area, it was an appropriate phrase to use in the circumstances*

Calling the police "thick" is disgusting. But then you call a lot of people thick so it's not really a surprise.

atacareercrossroads · 21/09/2012 16:47

YY QLB. This whole thread just reeks of arrogance. "Im right, you all should think and do what I say cos I is a feminist and not a very good one"

and you are spot on about the locals being scared of the gangs. If the use of the phrase in this situation makes people stop and think, even for half a second, then who the hell is ANYONE to say it was wrong. Must admit I didnt think of that side of it.

Original poster
Hullygully · 21/09/2012 16:48

Ok you're not thick

deliberately obtuse then.

Whatever

Bored now.

OP posts:
Blistory · 21/09/2012 16:50

That's a hell of an assumption as to why the police used that phrasing. Are you absolutely sure that that explanation wasn't created post the event ?

And let's turn it around. What if the police did use the phrasing unthinkingly - that it wasn't done to humanise and garner support - would you still support it, and if so, why ?

ChazsGoldAttitude · 21/09/2012 16:51

Quick

Serious question - would "young girls" usually be used about a 32 year old woman?

What happened to these policewomen is appalling and personalising the description makes sense. I am just surprised to hear someone who is not that much younger than me described as a "young girl"

thebody · 21/09/2012 16:56

Context context context.... if its not meant offensively then why the flying fuck would you be offended?

A 32 year old woman is a young girl to an 80 year old woman.

I thought the police conducted themselves with dignity in the circumstances, anyone picking apart phrases used in emotional circumstances is pathetic.

Original poster
Hullygully · 21/09/2012 16:58

Is nig nog offensive if it's not meant to be?

OP posts:
JamieandTheMagicTorch · 21/09/2012 16:58

Blistory - so now it's resorting to accusing someone of lying?

This thread is bad-tempered

QuickLookBusy · 21/09/2012 17:00

Hully You obviously feel very passionately about this, as do others, it's just a shame we can't have a proper discussion. I AM a feminist, but then get called thick and hysterical if I don't agree with what another "better" feminist states.

If a fucking shame that the very people who claim to want be so passionate about feminism alienate many other women.

Sorry I'm rambling now, but on all the many threads about this subject, I haven't seen one anti "young girls" poster concede a single thing. Each time someone made a good point, it was ignored or answered with a flippant comment. It's NOT a discussion, it's a fucking lecture.

Original poster
Hullygully · 21/09/2012 17:00

Blistory hasn't accused anyone of lying, she said "That's a hell of an assumption to make" James.

OP posts:
Original poster
Hullygully · 21/09/2012 17:01

Because none of the points was worth anything. They are all apologist flim flam.

There has been: regionalism: rubbish

Representing the parents: untrue

Trying to trick the gangs: ludicrous

OP posts:
JamieandTheMagicTorch · 21/09/2012 17:02

Yes, I red that wrong.

Shouldn't have come back on here.

Will go away again

JamieandTheMagicTorch · 21/09/2012 17:02

and I rote that rong Grin

Original poster
Hullygully · 21/09/2012 17:03

The main problem is people can't separate their emotional response to a horrid event from a discussion about the language used by a senior police officer being offensive to women.

OP posts:
QuickLookBusy · 21/09/2012 17:05

Blistory, I didn't make that assumption. Other people, on this thread, who live locally to the shootings said that is what they believed.

Original poster
Hullygully · 21/09/2012 17:07

As someone said earlier, why this desperation to believe anything other than reality?

If we go with the reality, maybe we can do something about it. Shoving it under the carpet helps no one. Least of all the other professional police officers (female).

OP posts:
Blistory · 21/09/2012 17:10

Can I do a thread flounce ? Please ?

Because I really really can't live in this wierd universe where what I type magically changes context and meaning by the time it reaches the screen and I refuse to believe the alternative that posters are really being that obtuse.

Flounces

QuickLookBusy · 21/09/2012 17:10

You really believe you are 100% correct? That despite the fact police officers and local people have given explanations on this and other threads, they are ALL wrong.

What is the point of a "discussion" then?

Maybe you need to put in your OP next time "Only comment on this thread if you agree with me" then people won't be wasting their or your time.

Original poster
Hullygully · 21/09/2012 17:12

Manana

OP posts:
Pagwatch · 21/09/2012 17:16

QLB

I have posted (in fact in my first post), that there are terms used by loved ones, elderly relatives, teasing colleagues etc that are fine. I just don't get, still don't get 'young girl' for a 32 year old professional woman.

You are looking at the thread through the lens of a) everyone disagreeing according to two solid lines of opinion and b) a small group putting forward a feminist agenda.

Can I say that that is not the case and you are possibly seeing the thread in not quite its true light.

I am not arguing with any faction nor am I pushing an agenda other than my experiences as a senior member of staff in a male dominated work place.

I guess it irritates me a little because when an issue like this gets mentally thrown into two opposing groups we actually don't listen. I am not a hectoring feminist. I don't think that everyone who disagrees with me is wearing Winnie the pooh earrings.