Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

dp just headbutted me....

99 replies

tantrumsandnappies · 19/09/2012 14:52

i know i'm nbu but just need some quick advice.....

so this moring after maing plans to take dcs swimming dp lets me down again we have been fighting and arguimg for the last few months and they are just getting worse he never does anything with me or dcs instead choosing to go out with his friends he never comes home before 12 and is out of the house by one the neat day..

sorry am rambling so today after everything i ased him if he was still comin with us and he said no as he was meeting his friend so i got pissed off and stormed into the bedroom he followed me shouting what is my problem so i told him i have had enough of the lies him not helping me with dcs or money (yet he came home with two new ralph lauren hats saying his friend bought them) then he just headbutted me got in the bath apologised and tried to kiss me before he went out...

i don't now what to do haven't really got alot of family around and need some help.tia

OP posts:

valiumredhead · 19/09/2012 14:54

Personally I would call the police.

You poor thing x

squoosh · 19/09/2012 14:54

Oh my God tantrums he headbutted you?? Do not accept any sort of apology. You cannot stay with this man. Can you go stay with some friends?

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 19/09/2012 14:55

I agree with Valium!! He has assaulted you...report him.

Hope you are ok!

CanIOfferYouAPombear · 19/09/2012 14:55

:( do you have anyone at all you can ring? I'd get out if possible, or get him to leave for a while.

0808 2000 247 number for women's aid.
What he did is not ok.

DogsCock · 19/09/2012 14:56

absolutely report him.

ratbagcatbag · 19/09/2012 14:56

Don't know what to advise like some MNetter's who have all the relevant info, but didn't want to read and run.

You need to ask what you are really getting from this relationship, because to be honest it doesn't sound like much and to be fair if my DH headbutted me he would be gone.

Big hugs (()))

ratbagcatbag · 19/09/2012 14:56

X posts with far more useful advice, but the hug still stands!

QuintessentialShadows · 19/09/2012 14:57

Call the police.

NumericalMum · 19/09/2012 14:57

Phone the police ASAP.

Original poster

tantrumsandnappies · 19/09/2012 14:57

yes i'm ok just a little bit shaken.

i really don't want to get the police involved as it will just cause more friction with him and his family

ive told him not to come back and am gona go stay with afriend tonight

OP posts:

squeakytoy · 19/09/2012 14:58

Call the police. He has assaulted you. If some random stranger in the street came up to you and headbutted you, you would call them, and this is worse, because this is someone who is supposed to be part of your family and care about you.

tuckingfits · 19/09/2012 14:59

I'm so sorry he did that to you. I agree with the others,I couldn't stick with a man who did that to me.

Report to the police,even if you don't want to press charges this time,at least it gets it logged as an incident. Phone womens aid. Get yourself & your children safe,whether that means you or him leaving. Safety is the main thing.

squoosh · 19/09/2012 14:59

I can understand your fear of reprisals in terms of calling the police. The most important thing at the moment is to get away. Phone the women's aid number, they will be able to give you good advice.

He sounds like a fucking animal.

FreudianLisp · 19/09/2012 14:59

Personally, I'd:-

(i) Call the police.
(ii) Ringfence as much of my money as possible.
(iii) Sit down with sheet of paper and brainstorm how the hell I'm going to sort out housing/money/kids/work at a practical level.
(iv) Tell him that it's OVER. Too late for an apology. You don't headbut someone if you love them. Ever.

I'm so sorry this has happened. You don't deserve this.

valiumredhead · 19/09/2012 15:00

OP you do know that he will do it again if you stay with him, don't you love? Will he go if you tell him to?

KellyElly · 19/09/2012 15:00

You needs to call the police or leave him or preferably both. It's not fair on you to have to live like that and you have a responsibility to your children to get them out of that situation for good.

Original poster

tantrumsandnappies · 19/09/2012 15:00

@ratbag clearly nothing and this is what all this is over because i asked him to take me cinema last night and again it was an excuse not to he then said lets take dcs swimming then get a babysitter and we will go out i told he would not want to spend the whole day with us he said he would prove it to me and this is what he done

OP posts:

valiumredhead · 19/09/2012 15:02

I think as there are children involved the police need to be called.

Original poster

tantrumsandnappies · 19/09/2012 15:04

@ valium yes i do know that and i now i cannot stay with him ive told him to stay away from me i will not put up with something like that ever and it is the first time he has done it i kind of knew it was coming as like i said we have been fighting alot and he has been getting closer into my face

OP posts:

valiumredhead · 19/09/2012 15:05

Oh God, you poor thing. I really don't think there is any coming back from head butting someone tbh

squoosh · 19/09/2012 15:06

Do you think he will accept that your relationship is over or will that anger him?

Original poster

tantrumsandnappies · 19/09/2012 15:06

can i get help from womens aid? do i need police reports or witnesses? i have no clue

OP posts:

valiumredhead · 19/09/2012 15:07

I would just ring them now and ask - they will point you in whoever direction you need if they aren't the right course of action.

SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed · 19/09/2012 15:09

Glad to hear you have somewhere to stay tonight - you are doing the right thing in staying away from him. What about long term? Will your friend let your stay there? If not do ring Women's Aid, they will help you. In fact, call them anyway, they'll be able to offer practical and legal support.

bigsnugglebunny · 19/09/2012 15:09

You can get help from Women's aid, yes. Ring them now. They will help you.

Flip

1 2 3 4