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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be angry that the Chief Constable chose the words..

999 replies

seeker · 19/09/2012 09:20

"gentle" and "a chatterbox" respectively to describe the two women police officers who were murdered on duty yesterday.

Can you imagine those words ever being used to describe a man?

OP posts:
QuickLookBusy · 20/09/2012 09:23

I think that Blistery is trying to show how she feels about them being called a chatterbox and gentle by people who knew them

That is why there is so much anger on this thread. What right has anyone to be angry at the way people who knew them choose to describe them???

You can get as upset as you like, but as many many posters have said it is inappropriate to tell bereaved people how they should think and what they should say.

TheBigJessie · 20/09/2012 09:23

Bupcakes I have no idea.

Excuse me, I'm going to gatecrash a funeral and stand up to criticise the speeches every time there's a word that I see as gender-specific.

Moominsarescary · 20/09/2012 09:24

Good post bupcakes Wink

MelodyPondering · 20/09/2012 09:26

Quick yes that was my point!

And I agree with Bupcakes too!

SigmundFraude · 20/09/2012 09:33

'Good on Seeker for asking the tough question.'

The tough question? I would have thought the tough question has to be 'should police be armed' or 'why was that psycho allowed in society'.

Seeker only asked a tough question if your world view is completely contained with a certain mindset.

Comparing today's feminists to the suffragettes is a bit daft, the similarity is tenuous at best. Also what Bupcakes said.

MorrisZapp · 20/09/2012 09:33

I also agree with Bupcakes.

seeker · 20/09/2012 09:34

"You can get as upset as you like, but as many many posters have said it is inappropriate to tell bereaved people how they should think and what they should say."

Yes, that would be very inappropriate. And cruel, insensitive and stupid.

Good thing nobody has suggested it, then, isn't it?

OP posts:
BupcakesandCunting · 20/09/2012 09:37

Well yeah, they kind of have.

By complaining about the CC's statement, you're complaining about what families have said about their deceased. Same thing.

QuickLookBusy · 20/09/2012 09:39

Sorry Melody.

Seeker Blister said-"But we're all up in arms that two poor defenceless lassies died. Chatty ones at that. And with a wedding in the planning..."

She seems to be parodying words used by loved ones to describe the two officers. Lots of people then agreed with this post. I take that to mean they disagree with the way those loved ones chose to describe them.

BupcakesandCunting · 20/09/2012 09:40

""But we're all up in arms that two poor defenceless lassies died. Chatty ones at that. And with a wedding in the planning..."

She seems to be parodying words used by loved ones to describe the two officers"

^That is why that part of Blistory's post is so off. It does sound like it is parodying the families words, mocking them.

MelodyPondering · 20/09/2012 09:41

What is your point Seeker? First you thought he CC said it, now you know he didn't. What is your point now?

What are you trying to be offended about exactly?

ZombiesAreClammyDodgers · 20/09/2012 09:42

Oh good grief can we get to the issue about being allowed to carry firearms? And does anyone know if there is a petition anywhere for that?

ZombiesAreClammyDodgers · 20/09/2012 09:43

seeker can have a view to begin with and revise it later after being more informed can she not? She's human.
Sorry seeker I don't mean to put words in your mouth.

Blistory · 20/09/2012 09:44

Context. The paragraph after clarified.

BupcakesandCunting · 20/09/2012 09:45

Seeker would be very welcome to revise her opinion. She has been implored to several times. But she won't. Even when asked by SharonGless, a member of the GMP whether she was still so offended by the CC's words now it is confirmed they were not his words.

TheBigJessie · 20/09/2012 09:47

And if one of the bereaved people saw your thread? It's possible. You've already upset two Manchester police Officers, and one person whose husband knew one of the women.

Do you think they would definitely agree with your differentiation between criticising the Chief Constable for using quotes from those who knew her and actually criticising her friends and family for using those words?

Or could they feel it was a personal attack on them, and that you were accusing them of being sexist and devaluing their murdered friends/ family?

Maybe you'll be lucky. None of those at the epicentre of this will see the thread. Or maybe it'll be someone who loved them and also disliked the same words you did.

MelodyPondering · 20/09/2012 09:48

Yes. I'm interested in her view now that she knows more.

BupcakesandCunting · 20/09/2012 09:55

I'm sure it won't change. There's nothing like a staunch feminist with an agenda.

If this is the face of modern feminism, it can fuck right off tbpfh.

MelodyPondering · 20/09/2012 10:02

I couldn't agree more Bupcakes

seeker · 20/09/2012 10:04

I have said repeatedly that the close friends, family and close colleagues can and should use whatever words they want to- of course they should. And any words they choose to use cannot be anything but appropriate and respectful. Because they are coming out of their hearts and mouths.

But the chief constable and other senior police officers should choose words that are appropriate and respectful coming out of their mouths in an official capacity. Speaking officially and speaking personally are two different things. And the senior police officers were speaking in an official capacity.
And it just isn't appropriate for words like "young girls" "slaughter of the innocents""chatterbox" to be used about two professional women murdered in the course of their duties by their senior officers speaking in an official capacity.

Oh, and I understand that the vast majority of police officers don't want to be armed.

OP posts:
MelodyPondering · 20/09/2012 10:08

They were quotes?! Are you not listening? He was quoting them.

FFS!

QuickLookBusy · 20/09/2012 10:09

BlisteryContext. The paragraph after clarified*.

But your clarifying para misses the point YET AGAIN. "And if you think that trivialises what happened then you'll understand that is exactly how I feel about how their superiors have dealt with the situation in their comments".

HE WAS QUOTING THE FAMILY AND FRIENDS

Sorry for shouting but how many times does something need ot be repeated.

squeakytoy · 20/09/2012 10:10

I completely agree with Bupcakes too.

wordfactory · 20/09/2012 10:11

I think there is a time and a place to discuss how women are described as opposed to men.

But this so aint the time and the place.

The family chose those words. The senior officer read them out.
By criticising the words, you are critisising the family. They will be very offended at a time when they need all the support they can get.

MoominmammasHandbag · 20/09/2012 10:11

I'm not sure what I think about this. When I heard the tributes to the murdered officers my reaction was exactly the same as Seeker's. I thought the words used infantilised two brave professional women, and when I mentioned it to DH He agreed.
But I don't criticising a funeral tributr is the right place to make a feminist point. Yanbu Seeker, but you are being rather insensitive.