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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask how you broke the news you were pregnant to your parents

102 replies

bigears22 · 18/09/2012 18:46

I was wondering/being nosy. How you broke the news to your parents/in laws that you were having a baby. How did they take it if they had no idea you were trying to conceive.

I myself have no story, I'm still TTC but dreading the day I tell my parents (if it ever comes) despite them being lovely- still chicken.

OP posts:

karatekimmi · 19/09/2012 07:39

We planned on ttc in December for a september baby, but got a little carried away when I came back from a holiday with my sister, so Baby arrived a bit early than expected. I phoned my sister when I found out - she knew what the plan was and she was vile. She wouldn't say congratulations, said well that's not the plan and I ended up crying and feeling so crap! She then told me it was my fault as I hadnt made it clear it was good news! And I'd said I was shocked!
Told mum and dad over lunch, that went a lot better!!!

vvviola · 19/09/2012 07:46

For DD1, Mum knew I suspected, so there was no big announcement.

DH was having dinner with his Dad & step-Mum and just said "pass the salt Grandad" his step-Mum twigged right away and started screaming and FIL just sat there for a moment looking confused.

For DD2, we arrive home for Christmas (2 days later thanks to flights being cancelled due to snow). We had a late Christmas, and after all the presents were given out, we told my parents they had one more present, but they'd have to wait til August. My Mum's face as she figured it out was a picture!

We told MIL over the phone... kept talking about "the four of us" doing something the following year until she twigged.

PurplePidjin · 19/09/2012 08:12

I bought my parents a gooseberry bush to attract the stork

Dp told his mum and sister on the phone, we wanted them to know the same day as my parents even though distance meant it wasn't face to face.

I was 12+1 on my gran's 91st birthday. Bought her a Happy Birthday Great Gran card and a picture frame with a teddy on. Unfortunately she opened her present first so didn't quite get it, but she had a most excellent face when she opened the card and twigged :o

RuleBritannia · 19/09/2012 08:18

I had a daughter and my XH said he wanted another. I didn't but gave in and told him that we might as well ttc again now. My parents would have raised their eyebrows thinking we did 'it' too frequently so we didn't tell anyone at all until I was 7 months pregnant. It was not noticeable so was easy to keep to ourselves.

DS was born 14 months after DD. It was easier than having a bigger space between them though because we got all the nappy stuff, learning to feed themselves over with in a shorter time.

ballroompink · 19/09/2012 08:37

Our parents didn't know we were TTC. We just popped round to both houses for a cup of tea and told them we had some news. They were a bit shocked as it was out of the blue but very happy.

TraineeBabyCatcher · 19/09/2012 09:20

I didn't. I was very young and very scared. My mum heard a rumour from a friend, so she asked me. I didn't say I word, I just cried and she know. Is spent 12weeks worrying how I was going to tell her.

(Now ex) dp didn't tell his parents, I had sent him a text saying my mum knows and she wants us all to get together to talk, ex dp asked if we could wait till end of exams (1 and a half weeks) but his mum read his messages on his phone because he was being really funny with her.

KenLeeeeeee · 19/09/2012 09:28

First - my friend told my mum for me. I was 19, my then-fiancé had taken it really badly and had stormed out telling me to choose between him and the baby. I was distraught, so my friend rang my mum, filled her in on the situation and she came straight over to my flat to give me a big hug. She was great about it.

Second - I was more nervous this time because I left the arsehole father of ds1 a week before I found out I was pregnant, so telling my mum that at 22 I was going to be a single mum of 2 kids was a bit daunting. Again she was amazing about it. I just sat her down, told her I was pregnant and that I was scared.

Third and fourth, I've told her over the phone because by that point we lived at opposite ends of the country. Just rang her up and said "I have some news!" and she guessed.

MIL took the news of baby#3 and #4 very badly. With dd (dh's first child and their first GC) she demolished a bottle of gin, howled about how she didn't want to be a grandparent etc. I'm glad I wasn't there tbh. With the youngest, dh told them over the phone before we went over for dinner (they tend to offer me wine repeatedly and I wanted to warn them why I wasn't drinking!) and she and FIL just said "mm-hmm" then didn't mention it again for WEEKS. Every time we saw them, they said nothing about the pregnancy at all. Lovely people.

BiddyPop · 19/09/2012 09:34

I blurted it out to my mother (we were coming down that weekend to tell her anyway but she wanted me to come earlier the Friday to go to the funeral of a guy who used to let me ride on his tractor when I was growing up but I had my first cons apt that lunchtime) by accident. She basically ignored it (narc and it wasn't about her) and, in fairness, did as I asked and didn't tell Dad (VERY unusual). We told Dad over dinner that night - I was "driving" rather than DH so he didn't comment about the no wine, but over desert, we brought up that there would be an extra special present this year making him a grandad. My bro and 2 sis's who were at dinner as well cracked up as poor Dad tried to work that one out - bro said "you could see the hampster running around the wheel in his head as he worked it out" . (A fair bit of wine had been consumed by then by the rest of the group).

We told his parents over a cup of tea when we arrived that late afternoon, pretty much the same extra special present for Christmas. (DD was due Christmas Day).

3 out of 4 were delighted for us, and none of them knew we had been trying. And the 4th kept her mouth shut (for a change) (nothing I EVER do is right).

TheGOLDCunnyFunt · 19/09/2012 10:07

In order,
MIL, we asked her over because we said we had to talk to her, DP just blurted out "She's pregnant." MIL said "You what?" so then I smiled and went "I'm pregnant, we're having a baby!" she then goes "Oh right. Did you know are trying? She's not yet though." all through my pregnancy she couldn't give a fuck but as soon as DD arrived she became a doting grandma!

My mum, I asked her how she fancied being a grandma again, Her eyes went as big as dinner plates and she kept saying "You're not! Really? Oh my GOD I can't believe it! Really? You're not! You can't be! Oh my GOD! WOOOOOOOOO!" :o

My dad, I just told him he was going to be a grandad again, and he didn't say much, if anything. My step mum was more excited.

StuckInTheFensAwayFromHome · 19/09/2012 10:39

I shouldn't read these threads - got lots of tears in my eyes over the lovely ones and am a bit about the not so nice ones.
As ever I am hoping that this month I may be pg, especially since we're going to my mums overseas at the start of October and I'd love to have some good news for her. I suspect the in laws who are local may twig very quickly when I stop my usual glasses of wine! This thread has made me think about whether there are some nice ways of doing it rather than just blurting it out - werthers for FIL is a good one!

suburbandweller · 19/09/2012 11:37

I called DM and told her that we had decided not to spend Christmas with her that year (we live 200 miles away and had always been to my mum's for Christmas up to that point). Cue very disappointed sounding DM until I added "because your GC is due on 16th December". She took a while to take it in - turns out she thought it would be about another 10 years before we thought of having children so she had not suspected it at all! (I was 31, so it shouldn't have been THAT much of a surprise!)

BeautifulBlondePineapple · 19/09/2012 11:52

Some lovely stories on here. Particularly loved the mothers day card idea.

DH & I were living abroad and weren't TTC so it was a bit (!) of a surprise. Found out on the Tuesday and the next night I phoned my folks just for a chat. Didn't want to tell them for a while (DH & I wanted to process it first!) but t conversation went like this:

DF: So I was clearing out the loft today coz we're getting new insulation.
me: Mmmm. Find anything interesting?
DF: Not really. Going to chuck lots of stuff out though. We've got all your old pram & cot & everything still up there.
me: You might want to hang on to that stuff actually
DF: why?
me: err.........

Cue much excitement and tears.

UserNameNotAvailable · 19/09/2012 12:28

With dc1 I got my mam a congratulations card then wrote something like congratulations you are going to be a nana. DF phoned his nana (nana brought him up) and she mentioned she was going shopping so he told her to get some pampers in because I was pregnant.

Dc2 and 3, I saw them my parents face to face and just said I've got some news, I'm pregnant. In laws were phoned up and told the same.

SittingBull · 19/09/2012 15:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

oscarwilde · 19/09/2012 15:45

Turned down a glass of wine with dinner. My non-drinking DF twigged immediately

osterleymama · 19/09/2012 15:53

Rang my Mum just after I'd told DP, i'd only found out that morning. Unplanned pregnancy but I was 28 and engaged and would have started thinking about a family in the next few years anyway. My Mum and sister were so excited and happy for me and their reaction really helped me move from shock to happiness.

crocodilesmiles · 20/09/2012 10:38

Please share more of your stories, some of these are so lovely .

It's brilliant hearing about those of you who were ttc for a while...Very reassuring.

nokidshere · 20/09/2012 10:48

crocodilesmiles are you ttc?

I started trying to get preg when i was 23 and had 15 years of fertility treatments. Nothing worked and we gave up, came to terms with it and planned our childless life.

2 years after stopping treatments and at the grand old age of 39 I fell pregnant naturally and again at 41!

That first christmas my son was 5 weeks old and all of my sisters and my 13 neices and nephews turned up at mums to see us!

HecateHarshPants · 20/09/2012 10:51

I can't remember.

I probably just phoned them up and told them.

It was such a non event for me (telling them, not being pregnant ) that I haven't retained any memory of it.

I suppose that's a bit sad

scentednappyhag · 20/09/2012 10:57

I went to my mum's and told her she was going to be a nan. She got very excited and exclaimed 'you're getting a puppy?! No, a kitten! I bet it's a kitten!'. She then had to sit down and have a cup of tea when I pointed out that I was having something altogether less fluffy

crocodilesmiles · 20/09/2012 11:23

nokidshere - Yes, I'm ttc. Nowhere near as long as you were - 18 months and counting....

Thanks for sharing your story. I'm so glad things worked out for you in the end. x

ZonkedOut · 20/09/2012 12:36

My sister told my parents they we're going to be grandparents for the first time at a family meal (rare for us all to be together). She announced it with, "By the way, I'm up the duff."

I think the way she announced it probably is the reason they were a little stunned, my sister is still a little bitter that their first reaction wasn't hearty congratulations (she thinks it's because she was/is unmarried).

Raspberrymenlove · 20/09/2012 12:47

After crying with shock for a few days weeks I finally plucked up the courage to ring my Mum. (no I'm not 16, I'm 25!!)
Her bursting into tears of joy after I beat around the bush for 20 mins will be something I'll never forget. It also made me realise that me and OH thinking we weren't ready and doubting it considerably was just a little nonsense and a large amount of selfishness at having to let go of our never ending student lifestyle!!

I'm sat here a year later with my little girl fast asleep on my shoulder and it's bloody amazing.

JollyToddler · 20/09/2012 12:58

They live 45 mins away in the nearest city. So we asked if we could have tea at theirs one Monday night before going to the cinema. After tea was finished I produced the scan photo (that we'd got that afternoon) and handed it to my mum saying "look what I've got".

They were totally shocked, but delighted. My dad barely said a word all evening - he just sat their grinning and drinking lots of water.

PurplePidjin · 20/09/2012 13:23

Best way to tell friends was as follows

F: How's things?
Pidj: not too bad, morning sickness sucks though
F:

To the kids at youth club (I'm a part time youth worker)

Pidj: wanna see something cute?

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