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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to take my baby on public transport?

202 replies

ETUMP · 18/09/2012 17:17

Just returned from a trip to London with my 3 month old baby. Very busy train on the return journey with a lot of luggage so there wasn't room for my pram (quinny with basinet) in the luggage area as i'd politely hung back to allow others to get on in front.

I put it in the next carriage, as advised by a staff member and then a manager asked (very loudly) whose pram was parked next door and it couldn't stay there etc. He was obviously harrassed, but was quite rude and sarcastic to me. After a very publuc discussion he said 'well these trains are not made for prams really'.

If that's the case - why sell family railcards?

OP posts:
BlazerOfGlory · 18/09/2012 20:54

Swim to the bottom, hey? Way to make changes.

JamieandTheMagicTorch · 18/09/2012 20:54

Aaargh - she's got the choice to use a smaller buggy, fold it, travel on a less busy train. Lots of choice

ATourchOfInsanity · 18/09/2012 20:58

That's a lovely story. Most of the time people are great - actually more so on trains I find! Villagers on bus routes are (IMO) a little bit less inclined to help a person they don't know. I'm a single mum so used to having to carry a lot alone, but agree that a sling after C-Section, for me at least, would not have been possible for several months.

I don't drive so the BJCM has been a real godsend. Strongly recommend it for mums who think they may need an easy fold light buggy you can literally do with one hand and whilst holding baby. I never quite mastered the kung foo kick on the Bugaboo! We actually were stuck on a train for 2 hrs after a jumper hit our train last weekend on the way into London and DD waddled up and down the length of the train smiling/waving begging for crisps Blush and cheering everyone up.

JamieandTheMagicTorch · 18/09/2012 20:58

Goldenbear - you say, stay local and talk about commuters - it's not my experience that commuters are the gits you seem to say they are, and I live here!

Goldenbear · 18/09/2012 21:10

Can she afford another buggy jamie? It is often not feasible to miss peak times at either end of the day, especially if you're visiting London and don't live there.

As I said up thread lots of things block doors in peak times usually people and their luggage why is a buggy an different to that?

blazers, so it is perfectly acceptable to berate a mum with a baby for daring to think it is acceptable to travel at peak times but advising her to be as 'accomodating' as her fellow passengers are of her I.e not at all, is considered low? Sorry but I'm not up to speed with your moral high ground please explain?

BranchingOut · 18/09/2012 21:12

I think there are two things going on here.

Sometimes people in general and parents of older children can forget that awkwardness of going out and about with a new baby - just how tiresome it is when you can only hold them in a very supportive fashion, when you can't just put them to sit or stand somewhere for a second, when you might still be feeling a bit dodgy after a c-section and you only ever have one hand available at any one time...

On the other hand, some parents completely fail to think ahead in the slightest and just turn up at the taxi rank/airport/station/hovercraft and start wondering why the arrangements are not suitable for their baby.

I always fall into the 'preparation, preparation, preparation' camp eg. doing that website search to find out what kind of buggies/carseats etc can be accommodated, using a sling if need be.

In fairness to the OP, if she had already got back at 17.00 ish then she wasn't exactly travelling in peak rush hour.

redwhiteandblueeyedsusan · 18/09/2012 21:13

the danes can manage prams and bikes on their trains don't see why britain can't

Goldenbear · 18/09/2012 21:15

Good for you it wasn't my experience not so much commuters are 'gits' but they are often self absorbed.

coffeeinbed · 18/09/2012 21:16

redwhiteandblueeyedsusan, there's probably more people trying to get into a rush hour train at Putney then in the whole of Denmark.
Or so feels....

BlazerOfGlory · 18/09/2012 21:17

Golden, no-one berated her for "daring to travel at peak times" Hmm. Everyone said, very reasonably, that if you want to travel by public transport, you should use equipment that is suitable for public transport, rather than equipment that is not.
Now, without the high drama and made up bits what is your problem with this response?

BranchingOut · 18/09/2012 21:19

Also, even travelling with a sling might not be totally easy.

I was getting on a train at Paddington and saw a mum hesitating at the big step up onto the train - baby in sling, a big suitcase and scary gaps either side of the step. It was just physically difficult for her to manage - so of course I put the suitcase on the train for her and slid it into the luggage rack too.

valiumredhead · 18/09/2012 21:31

Yes, I recognise your good miserable self valium of course; i meant t'others

I always use that Hmm smiley as a roll eyes one - even though it's not, wasn't being snippy at you, it looks rude know I've read it back.

We need a proper eye rolly smiley MNHQ please! Grin

Goldenbear · 18/09/2012 21:35

My point blazer is that there is no 'standard' equipment for such a journey and there is no need to be more accommodating than any other passenger!

BlazerOfGlory · 18/09/2012 21:36

no need to be less, either.

Goldenbear · 18/09/2012 21:39

IME that would be pretty hard to achieve.

BlazerOfGlory · 18/09/2012 21:40

You must be using the wrong trains then. I find people pleasant and accomodating.

Goldenbear · 18/09/2012 21:43

Except when they get on with the wrong 'equipment'?

BlazerOfGlory · 18/09/2012 21:44

I find most people know how to travel appropriately. Perhaps I'm just a much more positive person than you.
You didn't answer the question. No matter.

Goldenbear · 18/09/2012 21:52

What was the question? If its the one I think then I think a mother should be able to get on a train with whatever pushchair she uses to transport her baby. There is no special equipment required, it is not always practical or affordable to have different pushchairs/ slings for different scenarios. Given that is the case it is irrelevant what pram the OP has she should be allowed to freely use the trains.

valiumredhead · 18/09/2012 22:00

Well that's daft - you couldn't use a huge traditional Silvercross pram on a train or a bus, of course you have to scale down a bit to use public transport!

CouthyMowWearingOrange · 18/09/2012 22:02

You would all hate to live on my local bus route then! I have a HUUUGE monster pram, that takes up the entirety of one of the two spaces on the bus. Far far bigger than ANY sort of Quinny, my pram is.

I can't sling my 19mo, as I have epilepsy and it is unsafe. I also have fibromyalgia so would be unable to carry him for more than 3-5 mins anyway.

I can't walk him yet, as he is a bolter, and can escape from EVERY pair of reigns I have so far bought, and the road I have to cross is a main slip road onto the A12. And is also the ambulance access for the hospital from the A12.

Due to my 8yo's physical disabilities, walking him to school is not an option. He physically CAN'T walk that far.

Another reason I have a huge pram is because I have to use a stick when walking even short distances on a bad day, and as I can't use my stick when pushing a pram, the pram needs to be sturdy enough to support my full weight.

It's not ideal, and I'm sure I piss off a lot of other mums, but for me and my situation, the need to not block public transport had to be weighed up against my need to have a pram that can cope with my weight due to my disabilities, PLUS the weight and space to carry my shopping home.

A Quinny would be far too small to cope with my needs. So if you think that a Quinny is bad, I can only imagine the mutterings about my Beast!

valiumredhead · 18/09/2012 22:04

I take my post back - you can use a big pram Grin

BlazerOfGlory · 18/09/2012 22:09

Think of it this way though, if everyone used a monster pram, all of the people who are perfectly able to use smaller ones or slings or whatever but can't be arsed/don't want to, there wouldn't be any room for those few who really need a big pram, like poster above.

NapaCab · 18/09/2012 22:17

YA kind of BU in not folding up your pram but YANBU in thinking that the train employee was unnecessarily rude. He could have just asked you politely if the pram folded up or moved you to a less busy carriage (if there was one).

We had to travel down to London from Scotland once with our then 2 month old. We brought our travel system with us but the base folded up and fit in the luggage rack and we just put the car seat bit onto one of the 3 seats we'd booked. It would have been a tight squeeze for anyone sitting in the 4th seat but luckily no-one needed it all the way to London.

Didn't stop one of the train staff being arsey to us anyway though - 'oh that baby's young to be out. What age is he? Where are you taking him so young?' and then to her colleague 'what is it with parents taking their babies out so young??' etc. I didn't bother explaining that we had no choice in the matter because she clearly had her own opinion and was just being a cow.

abcde1 · 18/09/2012 22:19

Try getting a bus in Manhattan.

All buggies must be folded whilst on the bus. This includes getting on and off the bus. So you have to let your toddler climb on alone whilst you carry on the bag, buggy, potty, umbrella etc, let him/her find his/her own seat since you have to validate your ticket, and then hold onto him/her as well as all your stuff during the journey. You then have to let him/her get off the bus on his/her own onto a busy Manhattan street, pushing past people trying to get on the bus.

Apparently this is safer than allowing children to be brought onto the bus in strollers and then taken out once safely on (which I appreciate needs to happen for space reasons)....

Surprisingly enough, we no longer take public transport here.