to be sat here crying

[rockandahardplace2012]

The woman next door is shouting and telling her dd to "fuck off" and saying "do you want it!" presumably asking whether she wants a smack. Im sat here sobbing my heart out that poor baby she was crying for her mummy whilst all tjis was going on. God i feel sick to my stomach

rock It's sad that they are already known to SS, but on the upside, it means they will pursue it fully.

Can i just tell this - for info. for anyone, and to support the OP really - that a couple of years ago i was in a situation where i was worried about the welfare of a child and had to make the decision to 'ring someone'. It took me ages (couple of days) to properly pluck up the do it once i had decided it was the right thing to do.

After dithering i chose to ring the non imergency police line rather than SS. I was put though to speak to the correct department and the woman i spoke to was very professional, kind, and easy to speak to. I was asked if i wished to remain anonymous and in this case i said i would give my name. (I wasn't living next door to the child) She asked if they could send an officer round to speak to me in person that day. The officer came round and wrote the details carefully and went over everything in great detail. He was polite and reasuring. He said the relevent department would look at the report and pass all the details on to SS. He said i probably wouldn't hear anything about the action taken but that to be assured that these concerns are always investigated. He said they are always treated with great care as that ensures the best outcome for the child.

So - the phrase 'ring the police' doesn't mean they're going to turn up there in squad cars with sirens blazing and arrest the mother! Just wanted to clear that up.

"So - the phrase 'ring the police' doesn't mean they're going to turn up there in squad cars with sirens blazing and arrest the mother! Just wanted to clear that up."

I'm pretty sure we all know that would not happen.

I think fluffy was probably just trying to suggest that the police don't go in all heavy handed and treat the mother like a criminal.

I agree with you fluffy, we had cause to speak with the child protection dept earlier in the year and the police were lovely. I think a lot of people do worry about unleashing a monster, otherwise they wouldn't be so against people reporting in the first place.

WhatYouLookingAt Tue 18-Sep-12 11:24:12
Calling SS, maybe. But as I said, calling the police would be very silly.

My post was mainly prompted by this. If ''we all know that wouldn't happen'' re: police going in heavy handed, just what exactly is silly about calling the police whatyoulookinat?

And thank you folk girl - that is it.

It's interesting reading this thread. A couple of years ago, I was really worried about our neighbour's child. She seemed to cry a lot (upwards of 2 or 3 hours a day, on and off), and she cried and screamed constantly for 45mins-2 hours or more at night, with no-one going to her, and I heard her dad shouting at her often, though I couldn't hear the words. My children are much older, and never cried much, so it felt worrying. I came here (it was my very first MN experience) to ask people if I should report it, and got totally slated from people telling me crying and shouting were normal, and I should mind my own business. Obviously the MN 'tide' has turned, because there are many, many people now telling you you should...

"My post was mainly prompted by this. If ''we all know that wouldn't happen'' re: police going in heavy handed, just what exactly is silly about calling the police whatyoulookinat?"

You can't think of any other reasons like a) they aren't the right agency, b) they might be a bit busy what with serious crime and stuff and c) OP made a whole of presumptions with no evidence.

Having a bad day, WhatYouLookingAt?

Nope. You?

They certainly didn't feel they weren't the right agency when i rang them. Quite the opposite.

Funnily enough they seemed to class potential child abuse as on a par with ''serious stuff'' too

Why on earth are you being so aggressive Whatyoulookingat? How bizarre.

I think it's interesting to hear posters' experiences of what actually happens, or has happened in their case, when you report these kind of concerns.

I haven't read the entire thread, but I've read enough to see that some of you seem more hung up on who was called/the needs of the parent, than the issue that really matters-the welfare of that child.

The worst thing to do if you suspect a child is being neglected or abused, is nothing.
The OP didn't 'do nothing', she contacted an outside organisation who will now investigate things. It is their job to make a judgement based on the assessment of the situation before thme, as to whether the child is indeed at risk, or if (in some cases) the parent was just having a spectacularly bad day.

The Police would act if called about an issue like this, they would either signpost a caller to the correct organisation or would taker the details down and make a referral to that organisation themselves.

WhatYouLooking At reminds me of those people who always say

"I don't take no shit from anyone, me!"

Because they are too busy giving it out.

Glad you made the call OP.

Good for you, OP. You absolutely did the right thing. Reporting to the Police would probably just have triggered the same kind of response because they would likely have passed it to SS. They might be the 'wrong' agency but actually child abuse is a crime so it is just as valid to call them.

Well done, OP, you did the right thing, and I think FWIW that you're getting a hard time on here, for no reason. Can't bear these threads when people get really defensive and trot out the "Oh, well, well done for being so perfect and never shouting at your children" or some such. It's not appropriate to speak to your child the way your neighbour does, end of. She clearly needs some support and hopefully she'll get that now.