to think the phrase 'you'll never wish you spent more time in the office on your deathbed' is a load of old BS?

[cheddarcheeselover]

I love my job. I also love my family, but I often hear this phrase used and it really annoys me.
It's always said as though it is an absolute truth but if I missed out on great opportunities at work because I wasn't there enough then I think I would regret it. Not every minute of being with my family is the most precious moment, sometimes it's rubbish and boring!

hmmm. I think that the phrase is totally acurate.
at the moment you feel that it isn't but when you have been retired for ** years before you are on your death bed I guess you get to see that there really is alot more to life than work.

I think the phrase assumes you don't actually enjoy your job...

they also aren't saying you have to spend tht time with your family at all.....
you could go to patagonia skydiving or lying on a beach in Bali. The reality is those are the sorts of things you will remember more than the sitting in the office when you managed to achieve something that feels enormous today..
IYKWIM

Absolutely.

It is selection bias. Those who wish they had taken their work more seriously are unlikely to tell this to their nearest and dearest

It might not be true for you, but it is for me.

Rubbish and boring is much better than stressed and any type of office politics

ah but you see I LOVE my job. it is my life and I would carry on doing it if we won the lottery. I don't anticipate retiring until I am physically forced to.
I pisses me off when folk belittle my passion for my work with this crappy phrase.

I'm an academic, we would lie on our death bed saying 'let me back in the lab I want to write that paper'

ha ha HoleyGhost, that is probably true!

When you're on your deathbed then you may well know why people say that. I doubt many people say they wish they'd spent more time in the office writing reports or whatever. When they look at their loved ones they probably will however wish they'd spent more time with them.

You've clearly never been married to a workaholic

YANBU...

You could more accurately apply it to housework IMO.

'I would carry on doing it if we won the lottery'

You'd deprive someone on benefits of the chance of an income?

If 'folk' are saying it to you, does that mean they're seriously worried about your work/home balance, or is this just conversational chat with no judgement behind it?

I agree op

Ah yes Belle - I will certainly not wish I had a cleaner kitchen on my deathbed (unless I die of food poisoning )

What do you do?

Yes, it's something which only applies if you have a deadly dull work life.
I enjoy my work. I also love my family, my hobbies and many other aspects of life. I can certainly imagine looking back and regretting missing some of the interesting opportunities I've had through my work. I've met people I wouldn't have otherwise met, I've been to places I wouldn't otherwise have been and learned and experienced new things. And those are just the direct benefits. Indirectly, my work also enables me to live in a nice house, go on holidays and afford to take my children to interesting performances, exhibitions etc
I would definitely regret it if id missed out on those things.

I think people who use that tired old cliche just have very dull jobs- which is a shame given that earning money is a necessary and normal part of life

What's your job then, OP? I always think if you love it, it's kind of cheating. Work must be undesirable as that's why we get paid to do it.

I work with the elderly and many of them talk very fondly about what they did for a job

it depends of course if you don't like your job, but if you've had a varied or rewarding career then I think it's one of the things that'll keep you going when you're old and immobile and stuck staring at nursing home wall paper all day!

my mother thinks I work too hard....

I love my job and suspect I would carry in working regardless of our financial situation . However I agree with the phrase

Yanbu - it assumes that you don't love your job, that your job isn't a contribution to the world (eg doctor, teacher, artist...), that your dearest friends weren't made through work, that your work isn't meaningful to you, that you work in an office! Loads assumed, and if it's all true maybe on your deathbed you'll regret not pursuing a different career, rather than how much time you spent pursuing your calling.

I disagree on 'you'll have been retired a long time by then' as well, NeverKnowingly - I don't plan on ever retiring. My parents both work full time in their eighties, my grandfather died at ninety eight after a day at work - if you love your work you don't retire. Or regret the time spent doing it.

I'm a designer and illustrator. I'm lucky I know.

it just sounds like an excuse to not aim at working towards and finding a job that would be worth remembering on your death bed IYKWIM

Ah, you see, that's a hobby you get paid for

I think it applies to those people whose jobs are so all-consuming that they don't have time for anything else. It's not really about whether you enjoy your job or not - it's about whether you want to have other things in your life. What would you do if you found out you only had a year to live? Would you carry on working or are there other things you would rather do?