to think the phrase 'you'll never wish you spent more time in the office on your deathbed' is a load of old BS?

[cheddarcheeselover]

I love my job. I also love my family, but I often hear this phrase used and it really annoys me.
It's always said as though it is an absolute truth but if I missed out on great opportunities at work because I wasn't there enough then I think I would regret it. Not every minute of being with my family is the most precious moment, sometimes it's rubbish and boring!

"I think people who disagree with it, probably haven't experienced free time as they could do. They will realise this too late"

I disagree with it and have been a SAHM in the past and am part time now and DH has been part time on and off

:o at "selection bias".

I think Cailin puts her finger on it: it's not spending time at work in itself that you are going to regret: it's living up to other people's expectations instead of thinking about who you are. For some that might be too much time spent at work, for others it might be trying to be the perfect parent and neglecting other aspects of yourself, for others (me) it might just be wasting time faffing around doing this and that rather than reminding yourself what is really essential to you.

The dictum overlooks the fact that most people spend time in the office in order to provide for themselves and their family, including children, partner, parents. Whatever your job, that seems like a worthwhile thing to do.

I totally agree, Issy. Of course I'd rather be on a beach in Bali than in my office. But that's not going to put food on the table for my DCs or pay the mortgage or pay for my future career break or retirement or whatever. Money earned now buys you and your family options in the future, and I think those who quote this kind of thing forget that.

Or to put it another way: If I am lying on my deathbed dying from something that an expensive drug could have cured, I am likely to wish I had spent more time in the office, so that I could have paid for that drug.

the statement is more for workaholic parents I think.

I think it really depends on what you do and on how you interpret that. Sure, if you see work as nothing but a necessary evil, you'll probably look back and wish you'd done less of it. If, on the other hand, you do work that is personally fulfilling and adds meaning and purpose to your life, you're unlikely to look back and regret that.

Great post Cailin.

Glad you survived

I dont know... have been at a work get together all week, and have seen that some people really do work all the bloody time

I have no NO objections to both parents working FT

but I do see some people, and think hmmm...maybe dont fly night before, but get 6am flights and have another night at home? give your other half a break. that kind of thing ...

OK, so I am bitching but one woman has started at my work. she has a small baby. and this week she has been out 4 times alone. I get her need for "me time"...but god, does she not WANT to see baby??

this is completely off topic....