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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be fuming at friend who gave 7mo a fredo?

88 replies

villagelife92 · 16/09/2012 15:51

I went round a friends house this morning and left DD (7mo) with her while i popped to the shop. I came back to find her eating a fredo. I was absolutely furious but didn't want to make a scene in front of the children (her DD is 9mo). I did tell her that imo she was wrong to give her chocolate and i was upset that she had. To which she replied that her DD has two fredos a day and hasn't done her any harm. I replied that I don't want DD having chocolate and left. She then text me saying that she won't give her chocolate again but can't see why I'm so upset. AIBU to be upset and furious or was she BU to give her a fredo?

OP posts:
onebigwish · 16/09/2012 15:52

It's really not the end of the world.

If you'd specified that she shouldn't have one then it wouldn't be unreasonable to be annoyed. But now she knows and she won't do it again.

scuzy · 16/09/2012 15:53

you asked her to mind you daughter. unless you gave her a list of do's and dont's then yabu. dont ask her again to mind your little one if thats the case. am sure your dd is fine.

chalk it down to experience. move on.

tethersend · 16/09/2012 15:54

Now I want a Freddo.

sugarice · 16/09/2012 15:56

It's a fredo, not poison. YABU to say you're fuming and so upset.

MordecaiAndTheRigbys · 16/09/2012 15:56

Your man from the godfather?

femalevictormeldrew · 16/09/2012 15:57

A fredo is a bar of chocolate, right? Not a half bottle of whiskey?

YABU I'm afraid. She didn't murder her, and unless you want to lose a friend and have her think you are a bit highly strung, I wouldn't tell her you are furious. She won't do it again so if it were me I'd let it go at that.

LouMacca · 16/09/2012 15:57

Her 9mnth old DD has 2 Freddos a day?? Seriously?? Shock She obviously thinks it's the norm Hmm

LydiasMiletus · 16/09/2012 15:58

Yabu. Its no ideal, but when leaving your child with someone you are allowing them to make all sorts of decisions.
She has said she won't do it again. I am sure there are things you do that she doesn't agree with. Everyone is different. She has accepted what you have said.
Don't get what else you want really.

Original poster
villagelife92 · 16/09/2012 15:59

I guess it's not the fact she had a Freddo, although that pissed me off. It's more that she knew i didn't want her to have chocolate, i was over yesterday when she offered DD a chocolate digestive and i said I didn't want her having chocolate then IYSWIM.

OP posts:
crackcrackcrak · 16/09/2012 15:59

Yanbu to not want a baby to have choc bit your friend apologised and it seems sad to fall out over.

I would have gone a bit mad too when dd was that age. Kids diets are a bit of a site subject if you don't agree in things. I recall arguing with my sil because I feel v strongly about toddlers bring given fast food. She told me a I was being silly and that I had to relax. This conversation came about because she kept buying mcds for her dgs. Well dd is 3 and has never tasted any fast food neither does she beg for it or have to miss any social occasions because it's bring served - thank fully my parent friends don't allow it either Grin

LydiasMiletus · 16/09/2012 16:01

Also I wouldn't want my baby having chocolate that young. Bit of a waste of chocolate imo. :)
why do you leave her there if diet is a massive thing to you and clearly it isn't to her.
Also excellent drip feed.

KentuckyFriedChildren · 16/09/2012 16:01

Yanbu to not want your child to eat chocolate- its your child. Yabu to be so upset. It's not like she was licking rat poison off a rusty door handle. It's chocolate Ffs. You've told your friend now and she won't do it again. No need to be annoyed.

sugarice · 16/09/2012 16:02

If she has knowingly given it when she's aware of your views that's bad form. I wouldn't ask her again to mind your dd if she's unreliable in that respect.

Original poster
villagelife92 · 16/09/2012 16:05

Sorry realised i hadn't mentioned that i had said no chocolate. Blush

OP posts:
pumpkinsweetie · 16/09/2012 16:06

Chocolate is moderation is absolutely fine, it is not poison.
Unless you specified a list of things you do and don't allow yabu.
I have four dds, with pfb i was exactly the same as you op but now im a more experienced mother i let silly things like this go.
Its not the end of the world, its a little treat a baby should have on the odd occasion and i bet your baby loved itGrin

picmaestress · 16/09/2012 16:07

'Upset and furious' is a bit of an overreaction.
I wouldn't give a baby chocolate either, (2 Freddo's a day? bit odd?) but I also wouldn't be this angry in your shoes. You could have just said 'oh well, is it ok if you don't give her chocolate in the future?' and stayed friendly with her about it. How far did she get with it anyway at 7mo? I'd imagine all she did was suck it for a bit and then throw it on the floor, she's hardly capable of chomping her way through the entire thing.

MordecaiAndTheRigbys · 16/09/2012 16:11

A fredo is a bar of chocolate, right? Not a half bottle of whiskey?

Just googled this, why did no one tell me of these things? I want one! They look like they are popular in Ireland, how did I miss them?

In all fairness though op, if its a big deal to you, its a big deal to you. If your friend doesn't respect that, then don't leave the baby with her.

Original poster
villagelife92 · 16/09/2012 16:11

pumpkin I think she did, she was smiling and covered in chocolate when i walked in the door. Smile

I sort of already knew I was BU a bit and it surprised me i was so upset and angry. I'm normally quite relaxed.

OP posts:
Viviennemary · 16/09/2012 16:16

I don't think I'd give a seven month old chocolate. But honestly what a fuss about nothing.

DamnTheManSaveTheEmpire · 16/09/2012 16:19

yaDEFnbu! I would be furious too!

GrimmaTheNome · 16/09/2012 16:23

I read the title and thought it would be [http://www.google.co.uk/search?q=freddo+cappuccino&hl=en&rlz=1T4ADRA_enGB489GB489&prmd=imvns&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=tO1VUM_MLqXG0QW1iIDIBg&ved=0CC0QsAQ&biw=1353&bih=712 this]] sort of freddo.... that, I'd be a bit upset about at 7mo! Grin

LydiasMiletus · 16/09/2012 16:30

Freaks are only small. If she was covered in it, she didn't each much.

LydiasMiletus · 16/09/2012 16:31

He he 'freaks' I mean fredos.
How can my phone not know what a fredo is?

sparkle12mar08 · 16/09/2012 16:33

I'd be upset and angry too. Who in their right mind gives a 7 MONTH OLD BABY a bar of chocolate?!?! I'd be livid - YANBU.

I love Freddos as a very occasional treat for a much older child but categorically not for a baby.

Pontouf · 16/09/2012 16:45

Hmmm, I assume DD is PFB yes? I would have felt exactly the same - DS first had chocolate on his first birthday - a chocolate button off his birthday cake. He has chocolate now and again now - I think two Freddos a day is crazy for a nine month old! However in the grand scheme of thins one bit of chocolate won't do her any harm and I think you should reconcile with your friend. Be aware though that once you start leaving her with other people you will have less and less control over what DD eats in the future. Grandparents in particular can be a bloody nightmare food wise - but very handy for childcare on occasion!