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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be fuming at friend who gave 7mo a fredo?

88 replies

villagelife92 · 16/09/2012 15:51

I went round a friends house this morning and left DD (7mo) with her while i popped to the shop. I came back to find her eating a fredo. I was absolutely furious but didn't want to make a scene in front of the children (her DD is 9mo). I did tell her that imo she was wrong to give her chocolate and i was upset that she had. To which she replied that her DD has two fredos a day and hasn't done her any harm. I replied that I don't want DD having chocolate and left. She then text me saying that she won't give her chocolate again but can't see why I'm so upset. AIBU to be upset and furious or was she BU to give her a fredo?

OP posts:

exoticfruits · 16/09/2012 18:18

I think this is true BLW-the baby was offered one and decided she would eat it!

exoticfruits · 16/09/2012 18:19

I think that it shows the stupidity of the term-the baby eats what, where and when the mother says!

squoosh · 16/09/2012 18:21

YANBU to not want to feed your young child chocolate.

YABVU to be 'upset and furious' that your friend, who was minding your child gave your dd a Freddo. Hardly the end of the world is it? It's not crystal meth or a mug of toilet duck, it's just some chocolate. Please don't try to make your friend feel bad about it. I'm sure she won't do it again. Just move on. And gain some perspective.

exoticfruits · 16/09/2012 18:23

You can't dictate if you are not there.

PicklesThePottyMouthedParrot · 16/09/2012 18:24

Your overreacting on quite a big scale I think!

I would not have given chocolate to ds when that young but one piece is absolutely not going to hurt and if she has apologised and said she won't do it again that's all she can do.

It was nice of her to mind your baby!

lunareef · 16/09/2012 18:25

Is this child your first?
I would have been angry too, especially if I had already said I didn't want them to have chocolate. My first born I was quite strict with but the second time round not so much...not much choice in the matter IFYKWIM
I'm not sure I would be able to trust someone who already knew my views and went against them.

hiddenhome · 16/09/2012 18:26

What? Is chocolate the new crack cocaine or something? We used to give our babies full size easter eggs and let them sit in their highchairs getting covered in chocolate.

They're both turning out okay

jaggythistle · 16/09/2012 18:28

a freddo is kind of huge for a 7mo, no?

i would be puzzled because babies just don't need chocolate. if they're getting it it's for the parent's entertainment really.

i quite enjoyed the bit of my pfb's life where he would eat anything, even if it wasn't a biscuit.

YANBU to not have expected her to serve it to a baby!

goodiegoodieyumyum · 16/09/2012 18:31

I would be realy angry if someone gave my baby chocolate, babies should not eat chocolate you are not Being unreasonable, babies do not need chocolate.

DinosaursOnASpaceship · 16/09/2012 18:41

My ds was 7 months last Christmas and practically lived on chocolate for 3 days with well meaning relatives giving it to him at every opportunity. I wasn't bothered.

trikken · 16/09/2012 18:46

YANBU. You'd already told her no chocolate so she should have stuck to it and not given chocolate. it isnt even about being good for them or not but that she undermined your rule.

mantlepiece · 16/09/2012 18:55

I'm with exotic... If you want to totally control everything don't ever leave your baby with anyone else!

As to the comment babies don't need chocolate, they don't need lots of pink plastic stuff etc. the list could go on ...

What happened to just enjoying our children and letting other people and them experience new sensations even if they are a bit naughty.

Adults enjoy treats why can't children. Everything in moderation!!!

CupsofTeaAndHandfulsOfCake · 16/09/2012 18:58

I would be so annoyed.
Everyone who knows me would know I don't give my babies chocolate I am a evil cow so no one would dare
If I babysit I always check with the mum what food I'll be giving them is ok.

I definitely would not assume chocolate and sweets were ok.

exoticfruits · 16/09/2012 19:00

Once someone has a child they think they a can control their entire environment and think it is 'my child, my rules' -and it simply isn't possible and isn't true. It is your child, your rules-in your own home with you. Once you leave them with someone else you can write a whole book of instructions but you can't make sure they stick to them.
If you had an older DC they might well have fed something far worse!
It was annoying, if you had asked her not to-but not very important.

MsVestibule · 16/09/2012 19:09

I would have been furious, and really wouldn't have cared whether people thought I was a nutjob. To me, a baby's first tastes are critical (stop eye rolling, hiddenhome - I can see you, you know ) and it honestly wouldn't have crossed my mind that somebody looking after my baby would give them chocolate.

But you do just have to let it go now. It won't have done your DD any long-term harm, and don't let it affect your friendship.

But a 9mo having 2 Freddos a day? Really? That must be the equivalent of an adult eating a pound (500g to you young 'uns) of chocolate a day .

tasmaniandevilchaser · 16/09/2012 19:21

I wouldn't be impressed, more because you'd already said you didn't want her to have chocolate. It's less about chocolate, more about trust. But she's apologised and it's not worth losing a friend over.

I really dislike how people put down other mothers' parenting choices by saying "oh I'm more experienced" or "chilled out". If you don't want to give your baby chocolate, that's not something for others to look down on as "up tight", it's just the way you want to bring up your child right now.

LynetteScavo · 16/09/2012 19:33

I wouldn't be impressed with another mum with a baby of a similar age feeding my DC a Freddo. I would half expect it of my mum and her friends (they used to feed DS2 chocolate biscuits when they looked after him one morning a week when he was a baby. I could hear them saying "Quick, clean him up, Lynette is coming!" as I approached the house )

I wouldn't be furious with a friend for doing this, but she was BU, as she knew you wouldn't be happy. However, she has said she won't do it again. So all is good. Two Freddos a day is a serious amount of chocolate for a 9mo. I'm wondering if she does it to keep the baby quiet.

MrsHuxtable · 16/09/2012 20:02

Well, we can't control all the time what our children eat blabla and pfb...it's just a bit of chocolate not crack....but really?????

This is a 7 months old baby not just "a child"! DD is 7 months and has only started solids a few weeks ago. If one of her first tastes was chocolate, I'd explode. But then I'd never leave her with anyone who'd think it's ok for a 7 months old to eat chocolate so I don't have that problem.Big pfb me!

2cats2many · 16/09/2012 20:05

YANBU. Who gives a 7mo chocolate? Seriously?

Kayano · 16/09/2012 20:09

I gave 6.5mo dd 2 chocolate buttons yesterday - shoot me now!

jchocchip · 16/09/2012 20:19

yep, I remember ds1 with a full size easter egg at about that age :) he didn't eat much of it. Thanks for the memory :) (He's 20 years old now and didn't come to any harm, only had his first filling last week...)

ellathefox · 16/09/2012 20:36

I would be annoyed about this but wouldn't go nuts. Two fredos for a 9mo is a bit crazy.

I'd also be annoyed because a fredo is now 20p!

jchocchip · 16/09/2012 20:38

20p! That's outrageous!

TiggyD · 16/09/2012 20:40

All these years I've been mis-reading them as "Paedo The Frog"!
I thought it was a poor choice of name.

squoosh · 16/09/2012 20:41

Caramel Freddo's are £1 for a pack of 8 (I think) in Poundland.

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