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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be fuming at friend who gave 7mo a fredo?

88 replies

villagelife92 · 16/09/2012 15:51

I went round a friends house this morning and left DD (7mo) with her while i popped to the shop. I came back to find her eating a fredo. I was absolutely furious but didn't want to make a scene in front of the children (her DD is 9mo). I did tell her that imo she was wrong to give her chocolate and i was upset that she had. To which she replied that her DD has two fredos a day and hasn't done her any harm. I replied that I don't want DD having chocolate and left. She then text me saying that she won't give her chocolate again but can't see why I'm so upset. AIBU to be upset and furious or was she BU to give her a fredo?

OP posts:

WildWorld2004 · 16/09/2012 21:15

One piece of chocolate isnt going to do much damage.

Id be more annoyed that i wasnt offered a freddo.

Kayano · 16/09/2012 21:17

I'm a chocolate addict with no fillings

Just don't ask my dress size

cheeseandbiscuitsplease · 16/09/2012 23:08

Each to their own. My children have always been allowed chocolate, in moderation of course. Their dad loves chocolate where as I can take it or leave it. They are now 7 and 3 and although I still have a treat dish full of twirls, dairy milks and crunchies etc it can go untouched by them for weeks. They prefer grapes, cheese, packet of cheddars etc as a snack. They are not greedy kids who grab for chocolate at parties etc. some friends of theirs who live down the road on the other hand are very greedy when it comes to treats as their mum doesn't allow them to have it much and they have to buy their own. I think it's a shame. Especially as lots of people I know only enforce these habits on their kids but not on themselves. Like a friend of mine who doesn't allow her son to have pop or juice but drinks 6 bottles of lager most nights.

Badgerina · 17/09/2012 10:56

See Freddo written down... want Freddo...

YANBU to expect people to ask before they give your DC treats. IMO it's well known amongst mums that some parents choose not to give their DCs chocolate and treats. I would never give another young child chocolate without asking the parent first.

However, since this woman gives her child 2 Freddos a day it's clearly not on her radar to consider that this might not suit everybody.

In the grand scheme of things its not going to harm your DC, and at least now your friend knows that chocolate is a no, no for your DC. I'm sure she didn't mean any harm. Quite the opposite in fact, she was treating your daughter. Try to see it in the spirit in which it was intended.

Blu · 17/09/2012 11:02

I never thought to tell anyone who minded DS not to give him chocolate bars, because I thought it was obvious. And you did tell her...so I am not surprised you were taken aback and upset.

But she has said she won't do it again, and in the great scheme of things it won't really have such a terrible effect (since you are not planning to follow it up with 2 Freddos a day!), so put it down to experience and don't let it ruin a good and helpful friendship.

hlipop · 17/09/2012 11:11

my fil gave my 2 week old dd2 a choc finger to suck on to stop her crying i was a little but then a little bit of choc won't harm them - certainly wouldn't be giving 2 a day!! - chocolate in our house is a treat

BarbarianMum · 17/09/2012 11:14

Ds1 didn't taste chocolate til he was into his second year. Ds2 would have been about 7mo. If I'd had a 3rd I'd probably have weaned with it....

I used to waste a lot of time worrying/planning/stressing with ds1.

rockandahardplace2012 · 17/09/2012 11:15

Its a bit of chocolate, get over yourself!

Badgerina · 17/09/2012 12:03

"My fil gave my 2 week old dd2 a choc finger to suck on to stop her crying i was a little but then a little bit of choc won't harm them"

At 2 weeks old it bloody well could! What was he thinking??? There's no way a 2 week old baby's gut or immune system is mature enough for anything other than milk. That's why we (and all other mammals) feed out babies nothing but MILK until they're older.

Original poster

villagelife92 · 17/09/2012 12:20

Thanks for all the replies, i know being so upset might have been unreasonable. I've chalked it up to experience and my friend now knows chocolate is a definite no-no.

OP posts:

booomy · 17/09/2012 13:26

At my DS's 1st birthday, someome gave him a mini roll while I was getting drinks in the kitchen! I wouldnt mind if i hadnt spent hours making a cake sweetened with apple juice.

I think you'll find a lot of mumsnetters have more than one dc, or older dc who have over the years had to give up with really healthy eating for their own sanity/laziness.

Totally with you, id expect someone to ask what he has! At 7mo, my Ds had a pretty strict food/milk routine so im surprised she gave your dd anything!

tasmaniandevilchaser · 17/09/2012 21:25

My aunt gave me chocolate when I was 24 hrs old. My aunt is a bit mad. I blame her for my IBS and stomach problems.

ThreadWatcher · 17/09/2012 21:31

Village- I dont think yabu at all.
It cant be doing her dd any good having 2 fredos everyday either.

It is pfb ish to get so upset but I would be as well.
I have read many threads similar to this where posters have agreed with the op so Im confused why you have been almost entirely told yabu.

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