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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think this is slightly odd dinner party etiquette? (bit light-hearted)

163 replies

LittleBlackDress · 16/09/2012 12:57

Had some friends round for dinner and they asked if they could bring anything. I said it would be very helpful if they could bring pudding. So, they turn up with pudding - yummy and we all ate just over half of it. All good so far. I did notice some exchanged looks when I had seconds, but didn't think too much of it.

Anyway, when it comes to time to say goodbye, they wander over to the fridge and take out the remains of the pudding and take it home with them. (they live very locally so would have been no problem to drop off the dish the next day).

I just thought it was odd to take your pudding back home with you, but maybe I am the weird one?!! I then thought the exchanged looks may have been because they were hoping at least half would be left over for them the next day. What do you think is 'normal'? :)

OP posts:
onemoreforgoodmeasure · 16/09/2012 16:15

I think it's strange, but I also think it's no big deal, so they do things differently, shoudl it really harm the firnedship?

onemoreforgoodmeasure · 16/09/2012 16:16

sorry for the typos, dancing to absolute 80's, surely a worse crime!

PropertyNightmare · 16/09/2012 16:17

That is most odd, OP! Yanbu.

NellyJob · 16/09/2012 16:18

digressing a little my mum and her husband, who was vegetarian, were invited for dinner, and the hostess asked my mum to bring a vegetarian dish for the husband herself, as otherwise it would be too complicated.......

numbertaker · 16/09/2012 16:20

Wierd and RUDE. Ask them to bring their own bog roll next time.

On the other hand, I hate it when you buy say some chocolates for a dinner guest givver, and they dont crack them open.

pigletmania · 16/09/2012 16:28

Ivy when you give someone something, when they are hosting dinner, it stays not to be taken back, rude otherwise, do t think Debrettes would agree with you.

ivykaty44 · 16/09/2012 16:30

But pig the pudding wasn't a gift in the same way that chocolates or wine is a gift to be left.

The hostess said - bring pudding - so the guests brought the pudding as they were asked to do, very different from me bringing you flowers for having me over for dinner.

freddiefrog · 16/09/2012 16:31

Odd!

Although we had some friends to stay for a weekend who did pretty much the same thing.

Usually we cook on the Friday night and eat out on the Saturday. The Saturday night was glorious weather so we decided to stay home and have a BBQ. Nipped in to Sainsbury's on the way home from a day out and bought some bits and pieces and went halves on the bill.

The next day they were packing to go home and they went through the kitchen taking all the leftovers from the BBQ - half a bottle of wine, opened bottle of ketchup, half a lettuce, opened bottle of lemonade, half a packet of bread rolls, etc. I was Shock

ivykaty44 · 16/09/2012 16:32

Debrettes hmm - having a dinner party in that sort of circle I can't see the host asking the guests to do the cooking and bring it with them - more likely the cook would be doing all the courses.

Feminine · 16/09/2012 16:37

power sorry I didn't get your crossed out bit?

Anyway, many a time while living there, DH's family would take a half eaten dish back Confused no fancy dishes/ovenware...

Just the desire to get some of the food home.

I found it was quite common with friends too, I just got used to it! :)

Weasleyismyking · 16/09/2012 16:38

Yanbu.
My bil and his wife did this the first year we cooked christmas dinner for them and mil and fil.
Mil and fil didn't offer to bring anything. Bil and wife offered so we said cheese and biscuits please. They also bought 2 boxes of out of date roses chocs.
After eating appertizers, starters, main course and dessert no one had room for cheese. And they took the whole lot including the chocolate with them when they left! Shock
However their biggest crime was to eat all of the roast potatos so I had none for my boxing day leftovers sandwich Angry

squoosh · 16/09/2012 16:39

But the OP says they all bring courses to each other's house when doing dinner parties, it's what they do. She doesn't take her contributions home with her!

I'd be Shock if someone did that to me and straight on the phone to laugh about them to my other friends.

noddyholder · 16/09/2012 16:43

I would be surprised tbh but with my very close friends ie where their home is like mine when I am there and vice versa we would say 'Shall I take the rest of that XYZ home rather than chuck it,I can use for lunch tomorrow' But not with an invitation to a not so close friend. I will often say to a mate take that whatever home and use for lunch etc if I know we will chuck it.

pigletmania · 16/09/2012 16:45

Well in my circles when you bring something you leave it. If I did a pudding for a friend who was hosting, I wuld most certainly leave it, it would never occur to the majority of people to take it back. I aways offer seconds and eople to take home food if there s any left. I come from a Mediterranean family, and taking something back would be seen as rude rude rude

HumphreyCobbler · 16/09/2012 16:47

I agree with all those who think this is rude. If I bring something I expect to leave leftovers behind.

pigletmania · 16/09/2012 16:48

I have hosted, and my friend who is ace at desserts makes the dessert, she never asks for it back execept fr the dish which is from home

lunareef · 16/09/2012 16:59

Do you think they made it with breast milk...hence the exchanged glances and surprise at your second helpings?
How well do you know them?
It is stingy behaviour. Perhaps they just wanted to make sure they got their container back...who knows

OldBagWantsNewBag · 16/09/2012 17:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
LittleBlackDress · 16/09/2012 17:10

It is a good question - what pudding is so irresistible you must take it home??? Any guesses? Grin

OP posts:
Corygal · 16/09/2012 17:12

Well, it cuts both ways. I was asked to a supper party - just me, no kids, no DP - and when I accepted the host said with relief;

"Brilliant. Can you bring a main course for 10 people please."

I had already taken his bank details and was sending 25 quid for drink. The party was 2 hours away by public transport.

StormGlass · 16/09/2012 17:13

Seriously, Corygal? That's insane. Who invites people to a supper party and doesn't provide the main course themselves?

Starters or desserts, maybe - but the main course?

squoosh · 16/09/2012 17:17

Bring a main course for ten people????? Did you?

I'd have told them to &%$£ their %*&££ up their %^^&&%$%s

Corygal · 16/09/2012 17:21

I am extremely proud to say NO, I didn't produce a mouthful.

I sent him 25 quid as requested (couldn't get out of that, was doing it while he was on the phone) and lied and said I was too ill to go.

Mean git - he was just hosting a party on the guests' wallets.

Angelico · 16/09/2012 17:30

They are bonkers! YANBU!

:o

Youcanringmybell · 16/09/2012 17:34

This charade has gone on long enough....
what was the bastard pudding?