To think this is slightly odd dinner party etiquette? (bit light-hearted)

[LittleBlackDress]

Had some friends round for dinner and they asked if they could bring anything. I said it would be very helpful if they could bring pudding. So, they turn up with pudding - yummy and we all ate just over half of it. All good so far. I did notice some exchanged looks when I had seconds, but didn't think too much of it.

Anyway, when it comes to time to say goodbye, they wander over to the fridge and take out the remains of the pudding and take it home with them. (they live very locally so would have been no problem to drop off the dish the next day).

I just thought it was odd to take your pudding back home with you, but maybe I am the weird one?!! I then thought the exchanged looks may have been because they were hoping at least half would be left over for them the next day. What do you think is 'normal'? :)

Why has no body asked what pudding it was??

Was it one of the couple's birthday cake?
If not YANBU. I would not invite them again tight bastards. If I liked it that much I would have just eaten it all at your house and then wouldn't have looked too rude

Oh, yes, that's true worra.

richards - ha ha, I love that, the idea of counting the eggs and almonds.

We used to take the piss out of my mum because one time she got fed up with us leaving stuff and she snapped 'You know, this isn't cheap bread and butter pudding!' She meant it was made with nice brioche-style bread not just white sliced, but still, we didn't let her forget it.

Even if they'd gone to Iceland and bought a £1 Vienetta it wouldn't have appeared as miserly as taking leftovers home with them.

That sort of behaviour puts me right off people.

Very odd and rude

The only excuse I can think of making is that they wanted/needed to take the dish home with them. But in that case the correct form would have been to say "We really need that dish for tomorrow, so would you be able to transfer the rest of the pudding into one of your dishes?"

I agree with Chandon, you're both a bit tight.
TBH I'd be glad they took it so as no to have a large bowl of something taking up room in my fridge.

IF it's something like a bottle of whiskey then a little goes a long way, and I wouldn't expect to finish it up, and would be fine with someone taking the rest back, unless it was 'presented' as a present.

Food, however, you leave. The only possible exception being if you pop in on your way back from the shops, get offered a drink, and say, 'oh we can have some biscuits with that, but not too many they're the kids favorites.' type thing.

Wine is a gift, you leave it even if it's not opened, but the hosts should be generous with sharing what is there.

You do not bring any half eaten or drunk offerings.

If you are a wine snob, you may open the red wine a few hours before, but you take the entire bottle over, probably with a decanter, if that's how you think wine should be served.

the above is for small dinner parties. Large gatherings such as buffet, bbq etc would have slight variation.

No further discussion required.

So did you offer any of the main course left overs for them to take home?

If you are dong a shared dinner party where others bring food (these people take pudding) - then you need to share the leftover out at the end of the night. They brought the food and I don't see it as odd that they took the leftovers home, what would happen to the leftovers otherwise - you would eat them, now why should you be able to eat the left overs?

Did you offer them any of the main course left overs or did you keep that for yourselves?

Oh and as for being tight - well hardly they provided a course at the dinner and it was a very good pudding by all accounts otherwise OP wouldn't have stuffed her face with a second portion
So hardly tight and bloody good pudding pickers

I think ivykaty is the dinner guest op!

If you regularly bring food to one another's houses, what do you usually do? If there's leftovers from the starter you made, do you take it?

It's very odd and I have never heard of bringing an open bottle of wine!

I would always leave the dessert. (but, I might ask formy dish back)

Were they American? only asking because when living there , it happened a few times to us!

I think it's odd they didn't say something like ' you don't mind if we take any leftover pudding back with us do you'.

I've know people take pudding or drink back but its usually made clear that is what they expect right at the start.

I've always assumed that was the etiquette - you leave with host unless you state otherwise or host states otherwise from off. It needs stating because it not 'the normal' behavior.

Feminine

Ah! Americans back in the limelight. So it's their fault. So at the beginning of a sentence.

Tell us what happened to you, please.

But what was the pudding!!?.
I need to know.

Weird. If they only wanted you to eat half of it, they should only have brought half.

I had a former boyfriend whose family were ridiculously tight with stuff. The first time I was invited to dinner by the parents, I said the food was lovely (it was) and helped myself to some more lasagne (it was on the table, there seemed to be plenty!) Chilly silence. The boyfriend told me afterwards, they cook meals so exactly half was to be eaten and half to be frozen. I had 'ruined' a future meal. Gawd alive. In my family, asking for seconds was taken as a compliment to the chef.

There's a thing with leftovers.... if it's 'rich pickings' like an individual dessert, or a good few meatballs etc, then I think it's nice to ask if anyone wants to take any home with them.

If it's just scraps... not really.

Ivy you don't go into someone's fridge and help yourself, you ask. For the record when I take something to somebodies house if I am going for dinners never want it back, it's a gift. Dd you ffer them seco ds of the main course and dessert, if you had seconds of desert you shoud offer the ther guests first before helping yourself

My (notoriously tight) friend once came round to ours for a party, and brought six bottles of beer. She drank three.

In the morning, she rang to say should she come and collect the other three bottles, or did I want to drop them off at her house! I was speechless.

(She came round and collected them a bit later on. Some people have very funny notions about "ownership".)

Pig - you don't take someone's food and put it in your fridge.

I wish I had been the dinner guest - but if I had been and I had taken pudding, then there wouldn't have been any leftovers as my puddings are not for leaving in the serving dish

There is often a lot of food left over at these sorts of dos where everybody brings something, so it's quite acceptable for the leftovers to be shared out between everybody. But it's very rude to just take them home again without asking.

I love these threads. It's a whole other world.

Ex boss told me a story about his notoriously tight sister. She invited Boss, his wife, their two DDs and her parents over for Sunday lunch. She cooked just one roast chicken. She plated up the meals in the kitchen, having first taken enough chicken off to make a main meal for herself tge following day. Needless to say the guests had a sliver each.

According to Boss, Sis was unrepentant and a bit cross that they expected her to go hungry!

My own SiL, who is lovely but a rubbish cook (all veg microwaved so they come out rock hard and nuclear hot) does major portion control ie so many potatoes, so many slices of carrot, some many broccoli florets, so many spoonsful of sweet corn per person. Result - not enough to go round.

you are all weird tbh

Do you ever have the opposite issue? I've been to meals when I have been groaning with food and clearly the hosts think I am dead rude not to want to sit down to coffee and five or six after-dinner chocolates as well as four courses, second helpings and cheese for afters.

YANBU that's really odd to to take it home