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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wibu to have stomped downstairs and called DP a knobhead

106 replies

CanIOfferYouAPombear · 15/09/2012 07:16

I hate waking up. It takes me ages to come round and start feeling human. DP is very aware of this as he bitches and moans about it every morning. DP is used to getting up at 5.30, I hate anything before 7.

So this morning he wakes up at 5.30, tries to get me to wank him but I'm having none of it so he gets up n ready etc. all ok so far.

Then a 6.30 he comes up again and starts touching me up...it's still a no (well its actually more of a series of grunts and moans tbh).

So then...this is the bit that really riles me....he puts his fucking freezing cold hands on my legs and starts laughing! What a fucking knob! My screams wake ds up (who's also grumpy on a morning) and then DP leaves me to it and refuses to get ds up.

And that's where the story ends. I came stomping downstairs with a face like thunder, call him a knobhead and he calls me a few fruity words. Now he's not speaking to me.

Grrr...I hate mornings :(

OP posts:
monkeyfacegrace · 15/09/2012 10:06

Oh dear god. am I the only one who sometimes wakes up at various times of the night with my dh shagging me?

We both have that sexomnia of whatever its called. Either that, or we both have sexy dreams, and at least 4 times a week we will have sex while still asleep, until either one of us wakes up and bats the other off, or we wake up and get into it Grin

He respects me, I respect him, but we both are sex mad.

Op's DH actions sounds like something my DH would do. Hard on when he wakes up, and thinks, yep, let go....

An hour later why not try again? Who makes the time limits?

Cold hands would piss me off, but again, we have a laugh, and thats the sort of stupid stuff we do, too.

TBH, if I was op, yeah Id be stroppy too. But we would laugh about it through the day, and Id get him back in the evening....

Original poster
CanIOfferYouAPombear · 15/09/2012 10:10

We do have the sort of relationship where we are allowed to 'touch each other up' without written consent so the getting me to wank him this morning wasn't a big deal for me. It was just the timing of it that pissed me off.
He was inconsiderate as he knew I was hungover the previous day and was looking forward to not waking up till at least 8am. He was also inconsiderate to put his freezing hands on me.
There's not much point on me stewing about it all day though. I've told him that he was being a twat this morning, time to move on.

OP posts:
GoldShip · 15/09/2012 10:13

I'm glad I can wake my partner up when I want a quickie, and vice versa. We'd both just laugh at this. We're laid back though.

Everybodies different though :)

LST · 15/09/2012 10:21

Goldship me too.

I couldn't be scared to touch him incase he reacted like I have no respect Hmm

messyisthenewtidy · 15/09/2012 10:29

I think it's up to each individual couple to come up with "rules" they both agree on, so fair play to those couples who are mutual shagbunnies. Trouble is in OPs case they obviously don't agree.

GoldShip · 15/09/2012 10:31

My DP comes out of the shower and shakes his bits around, he calls it 'the chopper'

He must have no respect for me... Wink

No like messy said each couple has rules, it would seem he's confused though. Why is that? Is it normally acceptable?

Thistledew · 15/09/2012 10:37

GoldsShip - shaking his bits around = ok
Him shaking your bits around when you would rather he didn't = not ok.

Surely the difference is obvious? Wink

SoleSource · 15/09/2012 11:07

You need your sleep. Yanbu.

Proudnscary · 15/09/2012 11:11

I see everyone's ignoring the pertinent points again.

Just keep saying 'oh so we need a contract for sex now do we?/Ooh I must tell my husband he's not allowed to initiate sex with me without express permission' etc.

OP's h was waking her up at an ungodly hour EVERY DAY to have sex even though she didn't want to have sex or be woken up

It isn't a one off!

How in the hell is that the same as being woken up for sex when you both like to be woken up like this and both want to have sex?

StrawberrytallCAKE · 15/09/2012 12:36

I'm totally with you proudnscary not putting my point across anymore because people are interpreting it to suit themselves.

Good luck op, hope your husband stops acting like a gropey letch at some point in the future.

imnotmymum · 15/09/2012 12:46

Gropey letch Grin

ZiaMaria · 15/09/2012 12:57

My DH brings me the cup of tea. He also knows better than to try anything before I can form a coherent sentence unless he wants to lose body parts

mummahubba · 15/09/2012 13:24

Straight out of the Waltons, a real heart-warmer, what a lovely couple.

GoldPlatedNineDoors · 15/09/2012 13:27

And you want to share your life and your bed with this man why exactly?

imnotmymum · 15/09/2012 15:45

there must have been plenty of bedroom action in the Waltons all those kids

Kaekae · 15/09/2012 15:56

If it were me I would have told him to crunch munch me instead so I could go back to sleep. Only kidding.....YANBU. Grin

SirGOLDBoobs · 15/09/2012 16:04

DP is always hot in the mornings, but if I said no, he'd leave it... He certainly wouldn't try again an hour later. Nor put cold hands on me as a "revenge" action, which is what it sounds like this was.

He's being a twat. Tell him to grow up, respect your boundries, and accept that sometimes the answer is NO.

SirGOLDBoobs · 15/09/2012 16:04

Or take Pineapple's advice..

Guiltypleasures001 · 15/09/2012 16:32

Ok gotta ask what the hell is a crunch munch??

Naoko · 15/09/2012 16:39

YANBU, you said no, he's to leave you alone. I'm not a morning person and am a nightmare a bit grouchy if woken up; DP woke me up feeling frisky at 4.30am earlier this week and after some grumbling and a 'what the hell time is it anyway, I want to sleep' from me, checked the clock, saw it was stupid o'clock, apologised and left me alone. Talking about it the next day it turns out he'd fallen asleep as soon as he hit the pillow, woken up 4 hours later and thought he'd only dozed off for five minutes and thus we'd only just gotten to bed and I wouldn't be asleep yet. Not his fault, we laughed about it, and he apologised again for waking me. That's a reasonable response. Your DP's is a knobbish one.

thebeesnees79 · 15/09/2012 17:26

I would want to chop it off at 5:30!
yanbu

Noqontrol · 15/09/2012 18:36

Get up early in the morning and chuck a glass of water over him. That will teach him Grin

dragonsandfairies · 16/09/2012 15:06

StrawberrytallCAKE Sat 15-Sep-12 08:15:23
No, my dh doesn't touch me sexually without my permission

really???

i read your post out to my husband...he says you're a boring cow

now like a good fumble...if you're not in the mood tell him no...hardly makes him a pervert does it Sad

and i love cold hands :D

Mum2Luke · 16/09/2012 17:02

YANBU - I would have done exactly the same! In fact DH tried that yesterday, not as early but I was trying to watch Saturday Morning kitchen before I got up to have a shower before sorting ds out for his football match and didn't feel at all romantic as it is 'that time of month'. He responds by pushing me out of the bloody bed!!!! Wanker!

Well am on strike now for next week or so!

twoGoldfingerstoGideon · 16/09/2012 18:09

i read your post out to my husband...he says you're a boring cow

How old are you, dragons? Twelve?

Have you read the bit about 'no personal attacks' in the MN guidelines?