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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ring DS s school on Monday to say he is being educated off site?

130 replies

dimplebum · 14/09/2012 23:34

DS has started school full time, he is really struggling with it at the moment although I know it's early days!

On Monday DH and I have both got a rare day off together and would to take both our DSs 4 and 1 somewhere for the day. I was thinking the zoo, or a museum?

I thought it would also be a nice break and a rare reward for DS who is trying his best to be a big boy at big school!

But what do I tell school, I can't say he s sick and expect DS to lie? Shall I say he is being educated off site?

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 15/09/2012 00:02

Lol at the 'po faces' just because people are advising a child who has just started school might benefit from sticking to a routine.

bogeyface · 15/09/2012 00:03

I should say that I have taken the kids on holiday in term time when I felt it appropriate but that was when they were older and had settled into the routine. I knew that they would slot back in fine when we returned, but had there been an issue like yours, no way would I have done it.

AgentZigzag · 15/09/2012 00:03

Thinking any problems the OPs DS might have would be better solved going into school rather than staying out, doesn't make me po faced akaemmafrost, it's logical isn't it?

How does avoiding the problem help any? He's still got to go back the next day.

NCForNow · 15/09/2012 00:03

Disagree bogey...my dd is 8 and had a hard time adjusting...she had the odd day off in the early years and it helped her.

She hates having a day off or being late now...that's because she is old enough to grasp it all and the importance. Not because she had 100% attendance as a mere tadpole.

In many countries DC aren't even AT school at 5 and 6.

NCForNow · 15/09/2012 00:05

One day off won't destroy his routine. If that were true then most of the kids would be struggling with routine because kids DO get sick and have days off. It's not avoiding the problem...it's giving him a nice day out during a period of change.

Original poster

dimplebum · 15/09/2012 00:05

No, he doesn't work 7 days worral he works 5 days a week, but 2 of those 5 days I am working. We have had to work it that way to save on childcare.

So as much as I would love to ask DH to not work Sundays, it's not as simple as that!

OP posts:

akaemmafrost · 15/09/2012 00:06

He's 4. Shouldn't really even be there IMO but don't want to derail the thread with THAT debate. He won't even realise, especially as its a Monday, it's just an extra long weekend.

bogeyface · 15/09/2012 00:06

Agree Worra There is nothing "po faced" about trying to make the transition to school as easy and as least confusing as possible.

bogeyface · 15/09/2012 00:08

Aka he will know he should have been at school and wasnt when his teachers asks him about it and his friends ask him. That will confuse him because he wont know why he wasnt there and why his friends were.

It is just making the problem worse.

SingingSands · 15/09/2012 00:09

A rare reward? He's been at school for what, 2 weeks? Less?

Sorry, but if you have chosen to enrol your son at school, then you have chosen to follow the rules.

Why not take your youngest son out for the day with you and your DH and give him your undivided attention instead?

NCForNow · 15/09/2012 00:09

That is right akaemmafrost could be a bank holiday for all he knows..oh no wait...he's four...so has no understanding of days off.

marriedinwhite · 15/09/2012 00:09

Your child has started school. School runs Mondays until Fridays. Your son is only 4. At only 4 he might get exhausted and need a day off to rest so he can cope with the other four days in the week.

Not sure what you are asking OP. One interpretation would be my dh works seven days a week and has a Monday off so we would like a day off. How do you think it would go down if my DH said "my dw has Monday off, so I am going to ask for a paid day off so we can have an outing?". hahahahaha.

How do you think this suggestions prepares your son for the work ethic and rules imposed by work in later life?

It's a concept but it's incomprehensible in my world. If you went to work, would you ask for a day off for a family outing because your dh had a day off. Take the boy to the zoo on a saturday or sunday - surely you are grown up enough to do that without your dp?

Yea Gods.

akaemmafrost · 15/09/2012 00:09

Well my 4 year old would probably have worried about it for about three seconds, if that.

AgentZigzag · 15/09/2012 00:09

But what is your DS struggling with dimplebum?

LadyBeagleEyes · 15/09/2012 00:11

Just do it, it's a mistake to ask MN.
The POs will get to you.
He's only little, enjoy.

WorraLiberty · 15/09/2012 00:13

I understand OP but really this sounds more about you than your DS if I'm honest.

If your working arrangements remain the same, you'll have to accept that days out during term time may get you in a lot of trouble once your child turns 5.

If you insist upon treating your child to a day at the zoo instead of sending him into school on Monday, you'll have to be honest with them for the sake of your DS.

It's very likely that if he enjoys his trip he'll tell his teacher/class mates all about it on Tuesday so obviously the choice is yours.

To clarify what's already been said though, parents don't get to choose what constitutes being educated off site.

NCForNow · 15/09/2012 00:13

well they ALL struggle with similar things don't they zigzag settling in, making friends, being tired, eating lunch, missing their Mum or Dad....by the by really.

ThePlatypusAlwaysTriumphs · 15/09/2012 00:13

I don't think anyone (least of all me) said "you can't" (although my face may be po ) but the OP asked for opinions!

I can sympathise, as my DH is in the forces and can be away for long stretches, but it doesn't stop me taking the kids to the zoo etc myself.

WorraLiberty · 15/09/2012 00:17

Some posters never fail to amaze me when talking about how little 4 year olds are expected to know about what day of the week it is.

It's quite simple...plenty of 3 year olds get the concept that nursery/school/work happens monday to friday and then it's the weekend

Schools teach them about days of the week even if some parents don't

Noqontrol · 15/09/2012 00:17

Meh at the po face comments. I'd like to just take dd out of school when I feel like it. But I don't, because its not the best thing to do to help her settle. Its about whats best for her, not me. I find it weird that people think its ok, especially in the early settling down stages. But hey, I might come across as po faced, people that advocate it come across as a bit dumb irresponsible.

Original poster

dimplebum · 15/09/2012 00:21

He is struggling mainly with tiredness, well I hope that's what it is.

Since he started 2 weeks ago, his personality has changed dramatically. The little boy we pick up from school at 3:20 is a horror! He shouts, answers back, refuses to eat, hits his younger brother etc. but won't go to bed until 7.30!

It is only sat and sun that he is back to being the kind, sensitive, happy, smily chappy we know.

OP posts:

QuickLookBusy · 15/09/2012 00:21

When is he 5?

By law he doesn't have to be in full time school until the term he is 5. So unless he's 5 this term, you don't need to worry at all.

HolyParalympicGoldBatman · 15/09/2012 00:22

'It's quite simple...plenty of 3 year olds get the concept that nursery/school/work happens monday to friday and then it's the weekend'

I'm sure they do, but surely the OP knows whether her DS knows or not?!

Matildarae · 15/09/2012 00:22

Seriously it's one day he is four it won't affect his gcse results. Take him the zoo and have a lovely family day. Just tell the school the truth on Tuesday they might be a bit peeved and will mark it down as unauthorised absence but unless you make a habit of it nothing will happen. As for his routine again it's just one day he will be fine. X

Noqontrol · 15/09/2012 00:23

Oh dimplebum, my dd is the same. They're just tired thats all. In time they will get used to the long days.

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