Lyrics That Are Wrong. AIBU?

[TiggyD]

Big Yellow Taxi - Joni Mitchel
"They took all the trees and put them in a tree museum.
And they charged all the people
A dollar and a half just to see 'em."

Is it just me, or does that sound like really good value for money? They have all the trees! A complete monopoly and they only charge a dollar and a half. Maybe they make the money back on the gift shop and food and drink but even if they charge National Trust prices I still think it'll be a bargain day out.

Shakira: "she dances like a refugee from a third world country"

Really? How do they dance then? Does every refugee from every country dance the same way?

Shut up. Shakira! Shakira! And brush your hair.

Loving these! I forgot my absolute top dodgy-lyric song; Beautiful South (love their stuff though), the one that starts

"They say Always use a condom
I say always use a whip
Be careful where you come at night
Coz I shoot straight from the hip
When it comes to love's great foutain
I won't just take a sip
I'll swallow and I'll gulp
Till the fountain makes me sick.

Well it's me left with a baby and disease
You can't say you didn't want it, on your hands and on your knees
You made me feel so special
You were especially good
I'm sorry that you misunderstood"

It kind of gets worse, too....! I can't remember what it's called though.

And doesn't a Tom Jones song mention infra-red semen flying through the night?!

Girl I'm gonna make you sweat, sweat till you can't take no more
And if you cry, I, I, I'm gonna push it some more.

Gross.

MakeHay, it's called Mini-Correct.

UNDER MY THUMB
(M. Jagger/K. Richards)

Under my thumb
The girl who once had me down
Under my thumb
The girl who once pushed me around

It's down to me
The difference in the clothes she wears
Down to me, the change has come,
She's under my thumb

Ain't it the truth babe?

Under my thumb
The squirmin' dog who's just had her day
Under my thumb
A girl who has just changed her ways

It's down to me, yes it is
The way she does just what she's told
Down to me, the change has come
She's under my thumb
Ah, ah, say it's alright

Under my thumb
A siamese cat of a girl
Under my thumb
She's the sweetest, hmmm, pet in the world

It's down to me
The way she talks when she's spoken to
Down to me, the change has come,
She's under my thumb
Ah, take it easy babe
Yeah

It's down to me, oh yeah
The way she talks when she's spoken to
Down to me, the change has come,
She's under my thumb
Yeah, it feels alright

Under my thumb
Her eyes are just kept to herself
Under my thumb, well I
I can still look at someone else

It's down to me, oh that's what I said
The way she talks when she's spoken to
Down to me, the change has come,
She's under my thumb
Say, it's alright.

Say it's all...
Say it's all...

Take it easy babe
Take it easy babe
Feels alright
Take it, take it easy babe.

Yes.
The other day, my ten year old reeled off a corker:
'You and me and the goats in the back room'
Apparently a line from 'The Wanted' - Lightening. Hmmmm.

I also recall:
My lover's got no money, he's got his trampoline.

The minaj song.
Mack/Macking= shagging!
Coupes=cars
Deuces=money
Soooooo basically she's saying she's successful because she has lots of men, flash cars and money.
Im down with the kids me

Squeeze - Up the junction

This morning at 4:50
I took her rather nifty
Down to an incubator
Where thirty minutes later
She gave birth to a daughter

I always thought it was:
I took her rather niffty
Down to a NAKED WAITER!!!!!

Doh!!

Procol Harum - Whiter Shade of Pale

We skipped the light fandango
turned cartwheels 'cross the floor
I was feeling kinda seasick
but the crowd called out for more
The room was humming harder
as the ceiling flew away
When we called out for another drink
the waiter brought a tray

And so it was that later
as the miller told his tale
that her face, at first just ghostly,
turned a whiter shade of pale

She said, 'There is no reason
and the truth is plain to see.'
But I wandered through my playing cards
and would not let her be
one of sixteen vestal virgins
who were leaving for the coast
and although my eyes were open
they might have just as well've been closed

Thedoctrineofsnatch "Loves Illusions" and "Clouds illusions" are both in the song and "ice cream castles in the air" not wrong lyrics as such but genius of Joni Mitchell, it is a beautiful song and the lyrics are wonderfully whacky.

Anyone want to deconstruct American Pie? I used to know all of the references (it's about him being a teenager and hearing about Buddy Holly being killed, predominantly, but there's lots of other wanky sixth former allusions to musicians and stuff about the 1960s).

I've just nearly woken my boy who snuck in the bed cause he had a headache due to laughter!!!
Rotterdam by the Beautiful South makes fuck all sense whatsoever- something about gargoyles dipped in Irish stout????

Isn't it something about Bob Dylan as well, SGB? I vaguely seem to recall that he was the jester in the lyrics...

Yupyup, and the second half covers Altamont. The King is Elvis Presley...

I know it has been mentioned but...

Dear Alanis

Rain on your wedding day, a free ride when you already paid, ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife, winning the lottery the day before you die, having a flying phobia and then dying on the day you take your first flight.

None of these are ironic.

They are what is known as "A right pisser"

Regards

Bogeyface

Maybe Alanis is more clever than we give her credit for. How would you characterise the fact that she had a hit song about irony, in which she simply listed unfortunate events, none of which was actually an example of irony?

Isn't it ironic? Dontcha think?

Stephen 'Tin Tin' Duffy 'Kiss me with your mouth'....er as opposed to what Stephen?

I've always hated 'More than words' by Extreme. Can't understand why people think it'd a beautiful , touching song. Isn't it about emotionally blackmailing a girl into sex in order to prove that she loves him?

There is also the Roxette song which goes

"Lay it down,
Pull my heart to the ground,
Time's getting cold,
Now the leaves all turn cold and blue"

Time's getting cold? and the leave all turn cold and blue - now apart from the fact that leaves don't turn blue brown would have actually been nearer a rhyme.

Leaves not leave

And I completely agree with the Extreme song too. I've always hated it, even as a teenager! though I did like his hair

Thank you, doctrineofsnatch - it is indeed that one.

There' another one (Tattoo) with a lyric about someone getting her lover's name tattooed on her - spelt "you bastard".

Love the Beautiful South!

Surely the line "you're so vain, you probably think this song is about you" is a stroke of genius? The song IS about him, so he has every reason to be vain! I think it's brilliant.

I am, however, a bit confused by the line "you walked into the party like you were walking onto a yacht" - is there a specific way of walking onto a yacht then??

You're So Vain is my parents 'song' ...

Isn't it supposed to be about Warren Beatty?

You walk onto a yacht with your sea legs

It's a great song but Elvis, I don't think satisfactioning is a word

The James Blunt song:

"We're all alone now.
It's not me, it's not me
Those three wise men have got a semi
By the sea..."

Have they?!?