Lyrics That Are Wrong. AIBU?

[TiggyD]

Big Yellow Taxi - Joni Mitchel
"They took all the trees and put them in a tree museum.
And they charged all the people
A dollar and a half just to see 'em."

Is it just me, or does that sound like really good value for money? They have all the trees! A complete monopoly and they only charge a dollar and a half. Maybe they make the money back on the gift shop and food and drink but even if they charge National Trust prices I still think it'll be a bargain day out.

Ooh, and Grenade by Bruno Mars.

"I love you so much I self harm". Good message to send to your target audience.

I don't mean those are actually the lyrics, but that's certainly the interpretation.

Mandy2003 I was told pavements is slang for gay sex, so she actuall'y means "should I give up or do I just keep chasing arseholes"

Dunno if that's true tho!

Great thread.

This reminds me why I don't bother with lyrics and hardly memorise them.

At least the music usually makes sense. :o

In the dumps
With the mumps
As the adolescent pumps
His way in to a hat
Now That's what I call a lyric!

Lueji - I find it more fun to supply my own lyrics.

Walking in a Winter Wonderland:

And at night, we'll perspire, as we scream by the fire..
We'll face unafraid the dog that we spayed, walking in a winter wonderland...

Mandy - is that our cue for a Friday night bumsex mention?

Haven't read the whole thread yet but just seen the mention of Alanis Morrisette 'Ironic' on page three and been reminded of the epic mis-hearing of lyrics I suffered from with that song.

For years I wondered what a 'death row hard on' was?!

Every Breath You Take - I remember seeing an interview with Sting who said it was a bit odd that people view it as a love song.

"I drove all night, crept in your room
Woke you from your sleep to make love to you
Is that all right? " - Roy Orbison.

He asked permission to make love to her After he had done it.

Carly Rae Jepsen - Call Me Maybe.

1. I threw a wish in the well. [You don't throw wishes, you throw pennies and make the wish.]
2. Sounds like she says "it's hard to look right at YOUR baby". And now I can't think of this line any other way when I hear it.
3. Before you came into my life I missed you so bad. [How the feck can you miss someone before you know who they are!]

I was just about to post Roy Orbison. DH knows that, if it ever comes on the radio, he must immediately turn over or I start ranting.

And that creepy as fuck Dr Hook one where, when she's had enough of the sex, he's going to do it a bit more. Just eeeeeew.

Lovecat - Me too. I have been known to come across that scene on the tv around christmas (when it is on constant bloody loop on itv2), sit and watch those five minutes and descend into a blubbering mess. Just the quiet desperation and dignity. Oh god, I may cry just thinking about it.

Speaking of supplying one's own lyrics, DH always sings the following to Wuthering Heights:

Out in the wild and windy moors
Sweet Roland fell in brie
You had distemper like my jealous eel
Too hot, too greasy...

And now these are the only words I can hear

Yy Tiggy to having EBYT as 'our song' - people actually dance to that at weddings as their first dance. It's about creepy stalkering people, it's not a happy tune...

Oh, China in your hand. What on earth is that about? I saw an interview with Carole Decker once and even she doesn't bloody know.

Check this out from Maroon 5's 'Harder the Breathe'

How dare you say that my behavior is unacceptable
So condescending unnecessarily critical
I have the tendency of getting very physical
So watch your step cause if I do you'll need a miracle

Mentioned already way up the thread, busted year 3000, he meets her great great great grand daughter. By my maths that is only about 6 generations in approx 1000 years, which means that every one of them would be well over 100 when they gave birth.

This always makes me rant - Hey Carrie Ann

When we were at school our games were simple
I played the janitor, you played the monitor
Then you played with older boys and prefects
What's the attraction in what they're doing

and followed by

You're so, so like a woman to me
Oh like a woman to me
So, so like a woman to me
Like a woman to me

FFS she's either a woman or she's not. If she's a woman then she's a woman not 'like a woman'. Unless she's too young to be a woman in which case the whole song is dubious. Or she's a man and nothing like a woman.

And the whole janitor and monitor bit is frankly a bit weird.

I have always been bothered by Summer Breeze by the Isley Brothers... I love the tune but the lyrics include classics like

When I come home from a hard days work
And you're waiting there, not a care in the world
See the smile a-waiting in the kitchen
Food cooking and the plates for two
Feel the arms that reach out to hold me
In the evening when the day is through

A long time ago, one Christmas I was working in a shop playing endless Christmas songs over and over and over and over, including this:

They call me Back Door Santa
I make my runs about the break of day
I said they call me Back Door Santa
I make my runs about the break of day, oh yeah
I make all the little girls happy
While the boys are out to play, alright
No, I ain't like Old Saint Nick
He don't come but once a year,
oh no, no I said I ain't like Old Saint Nick
He don't come but once a year,
oh no I come runnin' with all my presents
Every time you call me, dear
Well, I keep some change in my pocket
And chase the children at home
I give them a few pennies
So that we can be alone
I leave your back door open
So if anybody smells a mouse
It would not certainly a trouble
If there ain't no chimney in the house

Always made me a bit - did no one actually listen to it before assuming it was a heartwarming little ditty about mistletoe and wine?

HOw's ab out for vom-inducing awfulness? Every pregnant woman puking her stomach lining up and counting her piles must feel so romantic when she hears it...

Blimey sgb, you are unreasonable posting a link to that! How do you find this crap?

Thread's a bit like #popleveson:

'Touched for the very first time'. Really Ms Madonna? I have a room full of witnesses who would contest your evidence.

^"Tonight I don't feel like doing anything,
I just wanna lay in my bed."^

LIE, LIE, LIE, for fuck's sake, Bruno!

Or at the very least, why not stay in my bed?

Another stalker song, Enrique Iglesias:

'You can run, you can hide, but you can't escape my love'

Run! Now! He's scary!

My top misheard lyric is;

"And you're too peeved to care for your under 5."

Very true, James Morrisson, very true.