I'm a disabled mum of 3. Following an ear infection last December I had an extreme immunological response and the nerves in my legs below the knee, hands, forearms and lower face were severely damaged and in my feet and hands they are totally dead. The numbness ebbs and flows depending on my monthly IV infusions, I also have a severe balance problem and can't figure out where m hands and feet are when they are out of my vision (th best way I can describe it is that if I close my eyes, I "miss" when I clap my hands!).
I walk slowly, unsteadily like a toddler. I use a wheelchair for long distances. I find fine tasks like chopping, sewing, writing.
It's been amazing to see people's reactions! A large minority refuse to believe me, with ridiculous responses like "ah well, you never know what's round the corner", or "I know God is going to heal you", or "but you look so well !".
I get a lot of people feeling sorry for my children. Dd1 is 12, in first year at high school. Ds is 10 in primary6, dd2 is 8 in primary5. What most of these people don't know is that I also have borderline personality disorder, which has been successfully controlled by an amazing clinical psychology team, and I came off all my medication (antipsychotics and antidepressants) about this time last year. And despite being seriously ill in hospital (I ate so little I lost 6 stone, which to be honest I needed to lose :) ) and becoming physically disabled, it's never come back. I still see my psychologist monthly and will do so for the forseeable future.
I was actually much, much more disabled by the crushing depression that I am by the CIDP I now suffer from. I'm still working, teaching young mums basic literacy and numeracy and storytelling skills with their children. I do it from a wheelchair, and I find there is no-one more "disability blind" than a toddler. To my wee buddies I see each week, I'm just weegie who reads stories.
People have commented that my dc are very self sufficient and independent and it's often said with a very obvious subtext of "are they your carers?". They're not! I have a personal assistant comes twice a week on my days off and she does the stuff I can't: heavy housecleaning, chops boxes of onions for me to cook, sews on guide and brownie and scout badges, fills in school forms if dh is away (he's a doctor and works away overnight 2 nights a week). Dh does the personal care I can't (mainly toenails!! :) ).
My kids can do loads. Dd1 is great at baking, sewing, making cards for people's birthdays. She's also good at lifting hot dishes out of the oven (I can't feel temperature). Ds makes the best meatballs and spaghetti, dd2 does fruit salads, cupcakes and making decorations (we already have a box full of bats for Halloween!). They can all take care of making a packed lunch, folding laundry, looking after the pets, loading and unloading the dishwasher, hanging clothes out. And you know what? If I was the most able bodied mum in the world theyd still do that, because tkin turns to help and learning life skills is what family life and growing up is about. Dd1 does my nails and hair, she loves that, the only thing she sometimes does for me that's out of the ordinary is fasten my bra!!
I think I was making a point but I've forgotten it!!
I'm as good a parent disabled, even better than I was when able-bodied.