Women who let their hair go grey

[CJ2010]

I don't understand why women, except the very old, say age 70 plus do not cover their grey hair?

I know a couple of women who have just turned 40 who are letting their grey come through and are just leaving it. It makes them
look so much older and washed out. I don't understand it really. I appreciate that some women are into the 'natural' look and are not fussed with make up and hair dye but I think by not having colour on your hair you age yourself dramatically.

Grey hair looks so wrong on younger women. AIBU?

I am 35 and am starting to have lots of grey. I have no intention of covering it, because I don't actually view looking older as a negative.

I would love to not care about going grey. I'm very dark-haired, almost black, therefore the grey hairs I've had since the age of about 20 are really noticeable. I dread to think of how much I would have now if I hadn't had my roots done every couple of months for years now.

Getting it done is a boring pain in the arse but unfortunately I'm too vain to let it be.

IMO women who let themselves go grey and leave it are probably more secure in themselves and have the brains to not waste hours and hours of their lives in a salon every year

super my step sisters went from curly black to poker straight light brown.

who cares about attractive?

op may be attractive on the outside (?) but you are on the inside.
you've survived eight rounds of chemo. Attractive means bugger all.

In context that quote makes perfect sense. It isn't the same as saying "people who dye their hair are vacuous", just that given what that particular poster has gone through dying their hair seems vacuous.

Hair dye is not available on the open Market in Sweden. That's why you see more Swedish women with grey hair.

Yes I agree.

Newsflash: making your hair look like it belongs to a younger woman is not "anti-ageing". You will in fact not live one day longer through having coloured hair than if it's all grey. Possibly the reverse if you have a very bad reaction to the dye.

Someone mentioned the objections to teachers still teaching in their 60s. Er, do you think that was really anything to do with their looks? Surely it's more about whether they would have sufficient energy, resilience and ongoing good health to do the job effectively. Again, dying their hair is not exactly going to make a lot of difference to any of this. (Exposing the kiddywinks to old people - child abuse or what?)

For the record, being in my 50s I let my hair stay as it will because I am proud of how much of it isn't grey yet. People can see I haven't dyed it, it really is this much brown because look, there's a bit that isn't. Plus I'm far too lazy to keep dying - tried it a couple of times a few years ago - really not worth the effort. Yet most people are still really startled when they hear how old I am (or are kind enough to fake it).

I do, however, very much admire some people with well dyed hair. If you have the colouring and the personality to carry it off, some of the more flamboyant styles look fabulous (I'm thinking of a woman I used to work with who went black with teal overlay and dark-red highlights, doesn't sound so good perhaps but believe me it really worked on her). And sure, if you've got grey and don't like it, colour it by all means. I won't think any the less of you (why would I?), but kindly do me the courtesy of not thinking less of me for not doing so. Not that I especially care what you think but the world would be that bit nicer for some tolerance eh?

YABU. I'm 40-something and I do dye my hair, because I enjoy changing the colour, and have a few greys that I like to cover up. But I still think being grey and going grey is totally the hair-owner's business. It can lok great and even if it doesn't, or makes them look older, who cares? Still their business.

When I'm fully grey I intend to go natural and have a short do like this

OP, I think you are being a bit ignorant re a number of points:

1. You say that dyeing your hair is: "easy to do, cheap, non invasive and doesn't require surgery". However, it does contain chemicals and this is unacceptable to a lot of people.

2. People decide on the best use of their time. Fiddling around with hair dyes is not high on the list for some people. I don't actually have any grey hairs but if I did, I would not care at all. I would rather be doing what I want to do than messing with my hair.

3. You assume everyone wants to look "good"/"their best". I just want look how I look, very ordinary really. I am not bothered about people being more attractive than me. I am interested in what people have to say and what they do with their time - I am not really bothered by what they look like. If people want to dye their hair for whatever reason then that is up to them. I personally don't and that is up to me.

Our society has become image obsessed. I don't understand it at all, it all seems a waste of time to me, unless one of a person's interests/hobbies is fashion and that sort of stuff, in which case, fair enough. I never wear makeup, I choose clothing according to what I want to wear, not according to fashions etc. I am clean and tidy. It's my choice and I am staggered people like the OP have the time or energy to give a shit about what other people do or don't do with themselves!

I don't dye my hair because I think dyed hair looks false. I love the natural colour of my hair and no dye can mimic it. I am getting a mallun streak, have been for years, rather Caitlin Moran-esque, and I love it. My husband thinks salt and pepper is sexy. I don't understand why people dye their hair.

' attractive means bugger all '

I disagree. Feeling attractive or caring about how we look is important to many women.

But being grey has nothing to do with not being attractive.

I'm 39, and white/grey haired having dyed it for 15 years. I love it, I look great, and I look my age. Because thats how old I am, and I'm not ashamed of that.

I also have a lot of scarring on my arm - I don't cover that up deliberatly either.

I remember a lovely lady complimenting me on my long tresses when I was a child. She told me that she used to have long hair. I innocently asked, "why do you have it short now?" She said that you couldn't have long grey hair.

That made me sad. Still does. She didn't say it as if she'd felt she had a choice about it!

When my hair goes grey, I hope I will feel I can choose what to do with it.

I've had massive grey streak since I was 21 and I wouldn't want to be forking out for hair colour every 4 weeks (yes my hair does grow that fast)

I wear makeup almost every day and always try to dress well, just because I chose not to dye my hair doesn't mean I don't care what I look like.

that comment was in regards to the end of superwhizzynewlaptop post.

agree that it has nothing to do with being attractive.

Everlong I appear to have annoyed you with my use of the word vacuous. I was coming at this from the angle of being a cancer patient for the last year. Thank you Empusa for clarifying what I was trying to say.

I have rather a lot on my plate at the moment, dealing with aching corded veins from the chemo, extreme fatigue from the radiotherapy, dermatitis from other drugs. So for me colouring my hair would be waaaay down on my to do list.

I'm going a bit grey. My DS loves me anyway. I couldn't give a tiny rat's testicle about what anyone else thinks about it. I refuse to be some fake orange skinned, dyed hair clone just because people like you can't find anything more important to worry about.

Don't let the big grey door hit you on your shallow little beehind on the way to the far side of fuck, dear.

Oh, and when I did try dying my hair (more or less to its usual colour, I'm not very brave) it was the totally guaranteed cruelty free stuff. Possibly a bit messier to handle but at least the conscience was clear.

I meant mallen streak. My hair is curly almost black with auburn strands and a salt and pepper fringe. I love it. Why would I want to dye it?

I am letting my greys grow thought at the moment by way of experiment. I'm about 5% grey and know I won't just be able to go grey. So while I couldn't do it YABU in thinking everyone shouldn't

I dye mine, I've had grey hairs from my early 30s and didn't want it grey then.
It's a pain to keep doing and expensive.

But I'm not ready to look that old yet.

I am going to wear my hair long when it is all grey. I love long grey hair.

At 32 and having dark brown hair I now have some noticeable patches of grey. Sometimes I dye it if I can be arsed. I can imagine in another 15-20yrs I will be sick and tired of dying it all the time. Also a lot of home dyes don't take that well as the greys are very coarse, I doubt I'll always be able to afford £40 odd quid each time to have it done in a salon. I really hope I won't have women like the OP looking at me thinking those sorts of thoughts.

I don't care what other people do to their own hair but I am 25 and have dark blonde hair with grey bits so I highlight it and it makes it less noticeable

Morloth My photography tutor had beautiful long grey hair, she looked stunning! Everyone used to talk about how good it looked