Women who let their hair go grey

[CJ2010]

I don't understand why women, except the very old, say age 70 plus do not cover their grey hair?

I know a couple of women who have just turned 40 who are letting their grey come through and are just leaving it. It makes them
look so much older and washed out. I don't understand it really. I appreciate that some women are into the 'natural' look and are not fussed with make up and hair dye but I think by not having colour on your hair you age yourself dramatically.

Grey hair looks so wrong on younger women. AIBU?

No. Actually, I don't want to look as good as I can. I give my appearance precisely 3 minutes thought each day. I want to be as clever as I can, as funny as I can, as good a mother, friend and partner as I can, as prolific a MNer as I can (so far the only one that's acheiveable ), and as successful a writer as I can.

I truly do not give a flying fuck about fitting your definition of 'looking good'. Who are you to say what 'looks good' anyway?

I dye mine. Other people can do what they like.

I just wish that with the research budget the cosmetics compnies have at their disposal, they could come up with with some better dyes, that look more natural, produce the colour on the charts, and don't fade. It's not much to ask from what's probably a multi million pound industry.

My mum's hair was a nice grey, but although I'm greying I'm not ready to go there yet.

I am not crushed by the patriarchy - I just feel more like who I am inside, when my hair is bright red and shiney. I have good skin and I'm not at all wrinkly yet (I'm 37), so fuck it - if you've got it flaunt it!

The grey I have is in 2 streaks not all over so not sure how that would take to dye bit apart from that my scalp is very sensitive so why should I subject it to harsh chemicals just because YOU think it "ages" me.
Frankly I dont give a stuff about your judgemental opinion

Not everyone wants to look as good as they can, no.

And different people have different opinions about what looks 'good'.

Why is this difficult to understand?

"Surely you want to look as good as you can?"

Oh of course, what else are women there for if not to look good?

Here here, exactly what is wrong with ageing OP?

Why shouldn't I look my age?

Why do you care?

What is so abhorrent about seeing signs of age in a woman?

There's a woman that lives near me who has pure white hair, its also long (another supposed no no for older women) and she wears it loose. she's probably in her 50s and I think she looks fabulous.

Tom Jones is about 70 now though. Lots of women stop dyeing their hair when they get to that age, but I would say that most women who are in their forties or younger do colour their hair.

Why should I care about looking older, I am getting older! No amount of hair dyeing can alter the reality that I will never be 21 again.

I'm too lazy to dye my hair! It's a commitment of time and expense and I can't be bothered at the moment. I don't know if that will change but as it stands, I have no plans to dye my hair as a regular thing.

I started to go grey at 16, so I have been colouring my hair now for 26 years. Grey does age you unless it is professionally looked after.

I see women my age and older with long hair that has been greying naturally (so half grey and half their original natural colour) and I would never want my own hair to look like that.

Each to their own, I prefer to look as if I care about my hair and appearance.

My neighbour is in her late 50's with waist length hair, which until last year had never been coloured and was mostly natural grey. She has put a soft brown on it now, and honestly does look 10 years younger. She says she wished she had done it years ago.

So what you are saying is grey hair doesn't look good.

Interesting. And wrong. And a bit ignorant.

And I would never be in a profession where my age mattered in terms of looks. How silly that it does. I include actors and such in that proclamation of silliness.

Three certain things in life: aging, death and taxes.

Onehand if they designed something that wouldn't fade you'd buy less product... Can I also just say that of course if anyone does wish to dye their hair that's totally fine too.

Different people have different ideas about what looks good and how they want to look.

It really isn't any more complicated than that.

I thank you Empusa and also say Judi Dench. That is all.

I think it is very ageing too

But I'm so not into 'natural'

"Surely you want to look as good as you can?"

How does having grey hair negate that?

I haven´t had any surgical enhancements, I don´t have false nails, I rarely wear make up- I look good enough without.

So, naturally, I look as good as I can.

'Surely you want to look as good as you can?'

But I might equally say 'What, you're not learning Latin? Why ever not? Surely you want to be as educated as you can?'
'You don't exercise every day? But surely you want to be as fit as you can?'
'You don't give away all your spare income to charity? But surely you want to be as generous as you can?'
'You don't hoover every day? Surely you want your house to be as clean as it can be?'

We all have different priorities and it is not compulsory for looking good to be among them, you know, OP. Quite apart from the possibility that we don't agree with you about what looks good - tbh I see some women who in my subjective opinion would look better if they didn't dye their hair, but it's none of my business, it's their hair, and if they like it that's fine!

In response to Bowerbird comment about a youthful appearance being important in some professions, I am a Mental Health Nurse and i can honestly say it matters not a jot how old I look. There is an inevitability about ageing in my job as its so flipping stressful

My grey hair is silvery white.

I can't wait for the whole lot to go! Then I can have lovely long flowing silvery white hair. And I won't have to dye it anymore!

CJ, I would also give you a biscuit but it might make you fat and I don't understand why some women insist on being overweight - can't they stop eating

I will never let my hair go grey because I'm very vain, but my vanity is not an aspect of my character that I feel proud of! Vanity is not a productive thing at all.

I know people who don't dye their hair but I would never judge them about it. It's totally subjective whether you look better or worse with dyed hair, surely and a personal decision.

I suddenly really want grey hair!