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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Women who let their hair go grey

836 replies

CJ2010 · 13/09/2012 10:36

I don't understand why women, except the very old, say age 70 plus do not cover their grey hair?

I know a couple of women who have just turned 40 who are letting their grey come through and are just leaving it. It makes them
look so much older and washed out. I don't understand it really. I appreciate that some women are into the 'natural' look and are not fussed with make up and hair dye but I think by not having colour on your hair you age yourself dramatically.

Grey hair looks so wrong on younger women. AIBU?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Thumbwitch · 14/09/2012 11:51

You could be right, cory.
I, far less kindly, think that the OP is one of those incredibly narrowminded and arrogant people who is incapable of understanding why anyone would choose differently from herself, since she's so obviously right about it.

EmpressOfTheGoldFlames · 14/09/2012 12:13

So how long til Matthew Wright's spouting about this?

I think the OP dyes her hair & secretly really resents 'having' to do it.

Original poster
CJ2010 · 14/09/2012 12:50

AnnaLiza - thank you for understanding my point. I never said women SHOULD dye their greeting hair, but the majority will look better if they do.

OP posts:
Original poster
CJ2010 · 14/09/2012 12:51

Oops I mean greying! Grin

OP posts:
EmpressOfTheGoldOceans · 14/09/2012 12:59

But CJ2010 - why does it bother you?

TalkinPeace2 · 14/09/2012 13:04

CJ2010 the majority will look better if they do in whose opinion?

Watching Hilary Devey on the telly last night, her wig looked dire.
When Tom Jones was still dyeing his hair even though his son was grey he looked a fool - he's MUCH cooler now he's grey.

Sorry but the vast bulk of women will look better if they stop trying to be who they are not

Morloth · 14/09/2012 13:15

Define 'better' and why your opinion should matter to others.

EmpressOfTheGoldOceans · 14/09/2012 13:22

I wondered briefly if CJ2010 might be either a researcher or from a dye company but she's got a decent posting history so that's not it.

CockyPants · 14/09/2012 13:26

OP you have lots of time on your hands.
Who appointed you as chief judge of how people should look?
Oh, and who looks after the kids while you post here?
Shallow and vacuous. That is who and what you are.

Molehillmountain · 14/09/2012 13:29

Some people are genuinely neutral on this one, dye if you want to but I won't judge you if you don't. For others they really do think it's a crime to look a bit older than the youngest you could look with maximum help. And there are others who are a bit peeved that someone could feel okay with looking their age, or god forbid older, because of only they could feel like that themselves they'd save a lot of time and money. They tend to be the most vocal I think.

LibrariansMakeNovelLovers · 14/09/2012 13:57

'look better' in your opinion - don't think grey/white/silver is such and ageing thing. I think it can look a lot better than dyeing hair. Stop trying to force your opinion on other folk. I'm looking forward to having grey (or more likely silverywhite) hair/dreads. My DH also has white coming at his temples, I don't see hte problem. Should he be cracking open the hair dye too or do you have double standards? Is it 'ageing' for women but 'dignified' for men? (DH has long hair which I think looks fab any colour on men. I also saw a woman with steel grey dreads recently. Similar build and face shape to me and it was a nice vision of the possible future)

LibrariansMakeNovelLovers · 14/09/2012 13:58

*an ageing thing

TalkinPeace2 · 14/09/2012 14:03

Nope,
OP is right, Pam looks crap, same as she does every Saturday in the Guardian Magazine.
so does Liskulla
Biscuit
When I'm Pam's age I want to look that fab !!!

EmpressOfTheGoldOceans · 14/09/2012 14:03

One day my DW will have grey / white dreads & she will look fabulous Grin

I see what my GM looks like at 89 & what my DM looks like at 65 & feel very happy to know that one day I am very likely to look like them.

quirrelquarrel · 14/09/2012 15:41

Silly OP. What's the obsession with staying young? e.g. also "if you are fortunate enough to look under 25" notices- wtf??

AnnaLiza · 14/09/2012 17:00

Why do you keep saying that the OP is judging women who don't die their hair? And why do you assume that she's obsessed with looking younger? She's simply making the point that in HER opinion young women who go grey early look much older and probably worse for not covering grey hair. That's not judgmental, it's just an opinion and hardly reflects an obsession with looking young ( don't tell me that covering grey is like having a face lift or Botox for example!).
I'm shocked at the nastiness of some posters here. I don't care if you don't cover your grey hair! And I know it's nobody's business. It was just an OPINION on something aesthetic so obviously not everyone is going to agree! FFS!

Faxthatpam · 14/09/2012 17:01

Def better to look like lovely Pam than silly old Paul 'Macca' McCartney.
(I don't understand why Stella doesn't tell him)
Can't believe this OP...

squoosh · 14/09/2012 17:04

I love Pam.

No Pam dissin' if you please!

Sparrowp · 14/09/2012 17:19

Wow so many posts on this thread!

YABU

Grey is the new black.

TalkinPeace2 · 14/09/2012 17:20

AnnaLiza hardly reflects an obsession with looking young
sorry?
Going grey is a sign of ageing.

Women are pressured to stay looking young - so many of my gym bunny friends are married to office worker men who look dreadful - men are not.

It is part of the sexism and ageism still prevalent in society that Women are CONSTANTLY judged on their appearance and men on their achievements.

Funny that the hoo hah is not about William sunbathing with not many clothes on in a part of France where the beaches are mostly nearly nude.

LadyBeagleEyes · 14/09/2012 17:31

I've been colouring my hair for years though, long before I had grey hair.
I'm just keeping up with what I've always done, in fact I'm not even sure if I'm grey or not.
Op is being ridiculous and judgmental, it's everybody's individual choice.

GreenShadow · 14/09/2012 17:32

So why, given all the praise for going grey on here, do nearly all women I know in their 40s and 50s dye their hair. I think a lot of folks here have lovely ideas in theory, but when it comes to it, might be tempted to dye their own hair when the grey starts.

I should say I am 50 and incredibly lucky to have no grey hair yet, so perhaps am not the best person to judge and personally have not yet decided whether or not to dye when the time comes.

Dozer · 14/09/2012 17:34

Wouldn't have as much of a problem with the OP if the word women could be replaced with men.

Sexist, ageist twaddle.

My brother went bald in his twenties. Should he be wearing a wig?

Dozer · 14/09/2012 17:37

Greenshadow, I agree, is hard not to conform. My mum let hers go white. My boss (40ish) has greying hair. They don't like chemicals and spending lots of time/money on hair.

TalkinPeace2 · 14/09/2012 17:38

I am 47 and have had a grey stripe through my hair for nearly 20 years.
Before the rest of it started going grey I used to dye the lot but now the grey has lightened up all of the colour I have left it for the last 7 years - and grey goes well with a tan en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christine_Lagarde

Hairdressers make a fortune out of you who do not have natural colour ....
they will never tell you to do nothing to your hair after all.
my annual hair budget is very very little.