Women who let their hair go grey

[CJ2010]

I don't understand why women, except the very old, say age 70 plus do not cover their grey hair?

I know a couple of women who have just turned 40 who are letting their grey come through and are just leaving it. It makes them
look so much older and washed out. I don't understand it really. I appreciate that some women are into the 'natural' look and are not fussed with make up and hair dye but I think by not having colour on your hair you age yourself dramatically.

Grey hair looks so wrong on younger women. AIBU?

There are a number of teenage blonds around here who dye their hair white and then give it a blue rinse!!!

That sounds awesome Ninth I looked at silver first, but apparently ut's hard to get right, because getting a metallicky sheen is a challenge.

I've been considering it again recently, but probably won't because once I've started dying my hair, I won't be able to stop, and I quite like my natural hair colour. It's nothing fancy, but it's nice enough.

I love my grey hair.

Many intelligent women I know have decided to stop pretending to be what they are not and going grey.

DO NOT EVER moan about ageism or sexism in the workplace while telling women to dye their hair.

Am as grey as a badger. I'd rather read a book, play with my children, go for a walk on the beach than spend the ridiculous amount of time it was taking me to cover up the fact that I am 47.

Why stop at grey hair? Why don't we all just Botox and filler ourselves into oblivion to try and pretend we are not old?

OP, Brian, is that you?

Oh god welsh I am crying at 'chavy badgers'

Op YABU. Obviously.

My God..

I'm 44, dye my hair every 4 weeks, it takes 30 minutes and I do it in evening. Light ash brown, it dosen't looks fake, brassy etc.

I have two children plus work from home and my social life is acceptable.

Covering the grays is one of my very few "beauty" routine activities, another one is waxing my legs.
Never been judgemental about grey hair women (two of my friends never dyeing their hair), never witneses a discussion about that either and till now I never knew how many people are judgemental about women who actually dye their hair.

Reading all those 16 pages I get that I'm muton, deluded, superficial, artificial, from you I found that my hair look crap, that I'm waisting my time dyeing my hair insted of reading a book or socialising, that I'm some kind of ageing bimbo and general speaking very offensive statements.

Yes, ladies!! OP said she think that grey hair is ageing and you just feel allright to be unbelivable judgmental about people.. well, people like me who dyed their hair to cover grays.
And now, how RESONABLE is THAT?

p.s. pardone my english, is not my first language..

I like my wrinkles as well, got lots around my eyes from laughing a lot. Good.

Also quite like my stretch marks, they look like a tiger has clawed me and remind me of the time I was pregnant with my babies.

My outside pretty much reflects exactly who I am on the inside. I like that.

i started going grey at 20 - I am now 27 and have only just started dying it because it looks quite bad as my hair is very dark.

However, it is bloody expensive and I'd rather spend my money on taking my DDs out. Why the he'll do you care what others do with their hair?!!

Kim, people aren't really judgemental about women dyeing their hair. Well, some probably are, but not many! It's just a reaction to the crassness of the OP.

She made two incorrect assumptions: [1] Dyed hair automatically makes people look younger; [2] Looking younger is very important. As a woman older than you, I feel confident in assuring you (and her) that neither is a given.

I'm 43 and stopped dyeing my hair 2 years ago. I'm almost completely grey but it's a warm colour and I love it! Had lots of compliments and I certainly don't look washed out.
Did you post the message just to stir things up a bit? It's all rather strange...

One other thing. I had my "colours" done after going grey and realised that the colours which suit me now are far different to before. If you look washed out with grey hair you may need a rethink on the wardrobe. I now have lots of lovely new colours I can wear.

Kimimimi, I used the word 'shallow' in my post - referring to judging someone for not dying their hair.

I would use the same word to describe someone that judges people for dying their hair.

I think most people were commenting on the judgement, rather than the act of dying hair.

I do personally have better things to do with half an hour than getting rid of my grey. But I occasionally help my dd dye hers. I hate the whole process. I find it messy and stressful. I don't think it's unreasonable to prefer to be doing something else.

I don't have any thoughts on you dying yours, other than if you want to, go for it. I don't wax either, but again I couldn't care less that you do.

I think you might be reading defensively and seeing judgements where there aren't any (maybe there are a few, I didn't read every post).

Oh, don't we live in a youth worshipping culture?

What is wrong with ageing? Nothing at all. What is wrong with a lined face that shows your years on this earth and your wisdom in theory - Nothing at all. What is wrong with grey hair? Nothing at all.

Some cultures respect the elderly. Really respect them. The elders are treated like they matter. Their life experience, knowledge and wisdom are truly appreciated.

Here, you're only worth something if you're under 25 and the older you are, the less you apparently know about anything Talk about arseways up.

I'm 42 and have a few grey hairs, I colour not necessarily to hide them just that my natural colour is boring. However there is no way I would ever let myself go grey, I don't want to look like an old lady until I am one. Others can do what they like but I don't really understand why they would want to be grey.

Biff23 - going grey is not a choice. It happens whether you want it to or not!

The choice is to spend time and money on dying hair.

For me, It's not a case of 'wanting to be grey' it's a case of 'not wanting to dye my hair'.

Jeezy- well said!
Such an important distinction.

by complete coincidence I met an acquaintance on the train home yesterday who used to dye her hair and now has a natural all-grey bob which looks sensational. It really suited her colouring and face, I couldn't believe what a difference it made, not sure of her age (40s?)

Thumbwich yes I know she dyed it that colour.
Oh the irony!

Morloth you have just made me feel a lot better about my stretch marks! What a lovely way to think of them. Up until now I have hated them

After reading this whole thread (finally) I am totally sure I will not be dyeing my hair at all. Ever.

Someone said "I think everyone wants to feel pretty and look young if given the chance" up thread.

Er no, I have no need to look "young". I, my DH and DC, family and friends, know how old I am. Why does it matter how old I look to other people?

I have never been "pretty" but seriously it has never really stopped me just getting on with my life. I even managed to find a wonderful man who clearly doesn't mind that I am not pretty, and who loves me for my personality

So I'm strange am I? My hair goes with my saggy face as far as I'm concerned. So what if I don't look as young as I could. Why would that matter?

Wow. Quite new to MN and sometimes wonder if some OP's are having a laugh

Hard to believe anyone really would give a shiny toss about another womans decision of whether or not to dye her hair. Baffling !

The OP almost seems to feel that women who look old inflict some kind of unpleasantness, something they should apologise for, on the rest of humanity.

I have always felt the opposite: that there is nothing so reassuring as a pleasant wrinkled face surrounded by grey. It is a service I shall feel obliged to provide for my fellow men.