Women who let their hair go grey

[CJ2010]

I don't understand why women, except the very old, say age 70 plus do not cover their grey hair?

I know a couple of women who have just turned 40 who are letting their grey come through and are just leaving it. It makes them
look so much older and washed out. I don't understand it really. I appreciate that some women are into the 'natural' look and are not fussed with make up and hair dye but I think by not having colour on your hair you age yourself dramatically.

Grey hair looks so wrong on younger women. AIBU?

I'm dyeing mine grey :)

It's taken ages to figure out how to do it - I'm going to have to buy professional colouring products from Amazon (am too poor to pay a stylist) and will revive my S&B thread once it's done ... for better or worse

I'm blonde, originally, so have got away with colouring it ash blond during the greying years. Now, though, it's looking weird - grey hair takes colour differently - so this is the logical option. The colour weirdness is even worse with darker shades; look at an older brunette in sunlight, I bet you see orange or magenta!

I don't actually think it is ageing. I look old - my face has spent the last 18 months falling down - and no hair colour will alter this fact. But OP's behind the times; you can't say this looks old, or this or this!

but what about the downbelow hair? mine has gotten quite grey and unruly ............. or maybe thats for another thread

I'm embracing my first greys and my wrinkles.It's part of my life's journey.

I hope I am as white haired as a cloud and as wrinkled as a walnut when I am elderly.
I saw a picture of an old lady recently who had the most wrinkled and wizened face I have ever seen.
I think she looked beautiful.

'tis the way things are meant to be.

The grey thing aside, I don't think really long hair on older women is the best look, although I respect the fact that they can grow their hair right down to their ankles if they so wish.

But any time I see Jerry Hall I do think 'try a new hairstyle, cut it to your shoulders'.

"Look I said I respect individual choice" - yes but you don;t mean it and you make that clear.

What you mean is "I cannot make every woman dye their hair who is under 70, but they should because they look old if they don't" - its not the best way to convey your deepest respect for peoples choices.

You might like to work on that a bit.

CJ2010, you say; "Grey hair looks so wrong on younger women. AIBU?"

Yes, YABU.

I have never seen anyone and thought "Your grey hair looks wrong".

I am naturally very grey. I have my hair dyed every 3 weeks at a salon. Home dyes just wouldn't touch it (even professional products have to be left on longer than usual). If I left it four weeks it would look horrendous, and people peer at my roots ). I've been doing this since I was 25. It's my choice, but sometimes I really wish I didn't have to spend £50 each time, and find childcare for three hours. I probably do it because there are so many people with the same opinion as the OP. Or maybe I'm just vain.

When I said "I have never seen anyone and thought "Your grey hair looks wrong". " I meant I've never seen anyone with grey hair.

Some peoples hair does indeed look wrong. Comb-overs for instance.

Bloody hell, I've just discovered that Hannah Hauxwell is still alive!

I think OP should make a mercy dash to visit her with some bottles of L'Oreal Excellence.

Because she's worth it.

I bet her hair would take the dye really well, too.

Lynette, pay the extra next time to match your natural shade! Go on, you're worth it ...

Scorploom ... I wonder if I could get a stitched-on pube wig? A nice glossy little landing strip, like I had last time I looked not so long ago

well, according to my hairdresser I should never dye my hair again as it's current silvery-black streaks is much more flattering to my 41 year old face than any dyed colour would be. And if she's advising my NOT to spend £££ every month, then presumably she genuinely means it. Plus the teen DDs approve, and that's saying something never backwards about coming forwards with a brutally honest opinion.

Maybe some people are too busy juggling kids and work to care!

I have been trying to find a time slot to dye mine for the last 3 months!!

People can do what they want! Good on them I say - wish I had the balls to go grey gracefully. Would be a nice 2 fingers up to the image obsessed culture we live in.

garlicnutty, I can't match my natural shade, I would have to have a buzz cut and start again. I have had all the colour stripped off (read bleached and scrubbed for a lot of money) but it was left just sort of gingery. I am not a reddish colour rather than the very dark brown I was born with. If I could wake up tomorrow morning with a grey bob I think I would be happy with that, although I would look 10 years older.

That's what I'm worried about, Lynette - I'm having trouble getting all the colour out, so may have to choose between cropping it all off (will look awful with my newly-acquired jowls!) and staying Weirdly Patchy Blonde.

If I'd thought about this properly in my 40s, I'd have started letting it grow through then. Shame you can't buy hindsight in a bottle!

But surely there is nothing worse than an older woman with dyed hair where it makes her look so washed out. As you get older your skin tone changes together with your hair colour. Clinging onto your youthful hair colour can actually make you look OLDER

Judi Dench and Helen Mirren are fantastic examples of older, grey ladies. Who would want to look like Joan Collins?

But the thing is there is somewhere in the middle between completely grey and dyeing your hair an 'unnatural' or 'fake' shade. Going gradually lighter (so they grey is not quite so noticeable) or having highlights/lowlights can be really flattering too. Not every brunette who tries to cover grey hairs has to look like Joan Collins

My hair is grey - well it has silver streaks in it.

I love it. Why would I waste all that time, money and effort dying it?

I personally feel liberated from hair dyeing but hey if other people want to do it then it is up to them.

I have had several compliments about it since abandoning the dye, so it can't be that hideous.

Joan Collins wears wigs anyway so who knows what her actual hair looks like.

I've gained a sprinkling of white hair at each of some exceptionally stressful times over the past 5 yrs. I came through those times stronger and I'm proud of myself for doing so. Sometimes I see the white streaks and feel embarrassed, for my kids more than for me, but then I think of how they are a great reminder and tell myself not to be shallow. I used to tell myself no one else cares, but now I'll maybe adapt that to no one else THAT MATTERS cares.

Is it half day at school or something?

Any thoughts on those who are going grey and are allergic to hair dye OP?

Don't really know why Im asking this thread has got journalist written all over it! Give it two or three days it will probably be on Matthew wright

I have an interesting Cruella da Ville (101 Dalmations baddie) / Susan Sonntag grey / white streak at the front of my hair. it's been appearing since my late 20s, the rest of my hair is also starting to grey now.

I just let it. Along with not wearing makeup, and wearing clothes that at best are wholly unobjectionable, it makes me look who I am - a busy, happy, rather academic, not at all materialistic 43 year old. I look in the mirror (occasionally, we don't have very many of them around), I see me. I like that.

The change of texture as it greys is something else, though - I have had to have it cut much shorter (so my shortish bob, my hairstyle of the last 20+ years, has had to go) and I do find this change disconcerting. Dying wouldn't work, though - I'd just get brown-coloured Brillo pad instead of silver-coloured wire wool ....

'I want to know...
WHY ARE MEN ALLOWED TO AGE AND WOMEN ARE NOT????'

Because my dear cockypants, narrow-minded bimbos who fear aging themselves are the main instigators of this being unacceptable.
If the only thing you have going for you is the mask of youth, then of course you become fanatical about keeping it and can't understand why others don't care.
Men are allowed to age because they judge themselves differently, and women usually do too.

I have blonde hair....well I had blonde hair!

I have lots of grey hair, lots of white hair, lots of indistinct colour hair!
So at the moment I am dyeing it as it looks uncared for if I don't.

I have it short with asymetric fringe that I sometimes dye green or purple.

I am really looking forward to no longer dyeing it and I certainly don't condemn anyone who decides the natural look is the way to go.

I am in a long-term relationship and I wonder if I would worry more if I was hoping to meet someone else. Does this affect anyone?

I do enjoy the invisibility of being older; I was out with stunning DNeice yesterday and could not believe the number of men who felt entitled to ogle her.

YABVU I admire women who go grey and don't dye. Why should they succumb to societal expectations and obsessions with youth and 'beauty'.

I agree. It looks shite grey. But them I'm insecure and that's why I spend £50 a month sitting in the hairdressesers every 6 weeks.