I love nature but wtf

[JeuxDEnfants]

I am sitting outside undercover enjoying the rain and messing about on mn. Suddenly, it rains really hard... I'm still messing about on mn. Then I feel a wetness on my hairline and wipe it away. Two minutes later, when it's not raining anymore, it feels really cold and wet...
I wipe it away and it's a fecking slug. I love nature but that slug was pushing it! I feel violated!

Reminds me of the time I put a jumper on to find a big hairy spider looking at me, perched comfortably on my chest...

Yesterday I found a really large bug under my pillow. My house is covered in spiders and my cat keeps bringing mice in who like to hide under the fidge.

What are your worst stories about nature?

World - reminds me of when I was little, I was always the one who stray dogs tried to hump!

My mum once bit into a stag beetle thinking it was a fried mushroom

Lol how embarrasing! Im so glad thats never happened to me. my problem has always been pigeons haha

I was driving to work once and whilst stopped at some traffic lights noticed some funny pieces of black cotton at the back of the steering wheel, near the speedo dial. I peered down at them and up rose a giant spider, unfurling it's giant black legs onto the dashboard in front of me. It sat looking at me whilst I tried to force my body backwards through the driving seat in an attempt to escape being eaten.

The lights changed but I couldn't drive. Cars were beeping me & people were waving their arms to get me to move

ewwwwwwwwwww slugs the bane of my life!!! woke up in the middle of the night (in the dark)to get ds a bottle picked it up and it felt wet and slimey turn the lights on and there was a giant big fat juicy slug on it.

but the best story of all including a slug two weeks ago sound asleep in bed when i was woken up by a blood curdling scream come from dp laying next to me after ds so kindly threw a slug on him gave him

Just remembered, got shat on by a bird at she weekend. I'm like dr dolittle... I mist be blessed. Let's hope I make through the night without being taken over by the many creatures who have decided to cohabit :)

And that I learn to counter my phones autocorrect :)

I was standing in my bedroom changing..my df came galloping into room, chasing something..something ran up my leg into my shorts..on the very day I thought going pantless would be v sexy..I will never forget the feeling of teeny tiny mouse claws on my fanjo..I ran about the room, screaming and desperately flapping my shorts..am still traumatised..

My father once lived in Houston, it ws the 80's and had a terrible roach problem then. His flat looked fine in the day but when you went to the loo at night the roaches would scatter. Anyway, one night his ear itched in his sleep and he stuck his finger in... pulled out half the roach... the other half had to be tweezered out by his wife.

There was also a night in Oxford about 20 years ago, we parked up and got out and sounded like we were walking on gravel... it was some freaking snail party, hundreds of the things, we just jumped about until we got out of the area, it was impossible not to crunch them up in our attempt to get free of the area!

But did any of you see that programme that was on several years back about bodily infestations? There was this guy who was looking in the mirror and something peeked out of his nose. He couldn't get ahold of it so went to the doctor. While there it peeked out again and the doctor grabbed hold... it was a leech, apparently they desensitise the area they latch on to so the guy never noticed. Ewww.

Trod on a snail once... Barefoot.

I spent an afternoon with my foot soaking in dettol.

Cynner, I'm speechless and yet thankful :)

Poor mouse

can't stop laughing at these...
my mum went to the campsite loos one night wearing scholls and when she went back to the tent found she had a huge slug wedged between her big toe and the next.....
when she was young she was in the(outside ) loo when she saw a bee flying around. In panic she pulled her knicks up asap only to find she had caught the bee in them....
she's not really an animal person, my mum.....(can't think why)

I wonder if slugs have a desensitising thing, it must have been there for minutes and I didn't know

Well, at least you did not eat the slug.

Last year when I was gardening a slug crept into my mackerel in tomato sandwich. I ate it. Thought it tasted funny, then I bit into my second sandwich, and felt something wriggle on my tongue.

I can tell you, a slug in your hairline is nothing compared to ONE slug in your tummy and half a slug wriggling on your tongue. I was queasy for months....

bleurgh.

I havent laughed so much in ages... You're right, face or mouth...hmmm

My cat, who clearly thought I didn't eat enough and brought me presents, including somebody's fish fillets - presumably left out in their kitchen in the morning to thaw for the evening; lumps of stale bread thrown onto the block's garage flat roof for the birds by the old lady a few doors down from me; worms which she left precisely positioned so I would have something pleasant to put my feet on when I got out of bed; and so on.

However, one day that bloody cat delightful feline took the biscuit, thusly:

I noticed an unpleasant smell in my bedroom, but was working all hours so had a cursory look, found nothing and fell into bed. The next night the smell was rather stronger. A less cursory look revealed nothing. Bear in mind I was spending a maximum of 5 hours at home a day at the time, and for a couple of nights was so exhausted when I got home I didn't notice the smell at all, let alone look for cause. Finally I got a day off and hunted through the room for the source of this, by now strong and definitely vile, smell. i still could find nothing. So lastly, I pulled the mattress off the bed, took up the slats and saw that in the middle of the many boxes stashed under the bed was a gap. A gap filled by a large bird. A large, decaying bird.

Thank you FatCat.

Aren't they so kind... My mates cat decided to being a bird into their bed. I think they had to bin the sheets.

Off to sleep to dream of slugs, dog/fox shit, spiders, mice, rats, snakes and worms :). I'll probably be back before dawn :)

Good night.

Hopefully you wont dream about slugs crawling all over you!

I have an awesome picture on my phone of a cornucopia of slugs devouring a dead mouse. The joys of country living... I could actually hear them

I once had an itch on my thigh which turned out to be an enormous earwig climbing up my pants. The ducked pinched me and left a bruise. Took me three days to kill him too coz he kept climbing back up the drains... Even after having boiling water poured on him

Oh my... Slugs eat dead animals? I'm really not going to sleep well :)

You can perhaps pretend that a seal is a giant slug?

my dh hung his winter coat over the back of a chair, when he went to fetch it one of our cats was sitting under it -he thought she was trying to keep warm. We drove to B&Q and DH complained all the way there of stabbing pains in his shoulder. As he gets neck-ache from sitting at at desk all day I took no notice. There we are, looking at curtain poles when DH yells,jerks his coat up over his head-and launches a mouse into mid-air. It lands splat on its back next to a little old lady........

None of us are safe... Still love the little critters though :).